Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise, correct grammar mistakes, and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details linked with a cohesive connector. Watch subject-verb agreement and word choice (e.g., "coast" not "cost", "as memories" not "as this fear").

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially landscapes. For example, when I travel I often photograph mountains and rivers because their shapes and colors help me remember the trip, and I share the best shots with my family to relive those moments.

제안: Make the response grammatically correct and concise. Use a clear topic sentence, then add a linked supporting detail using connectors like "because" or "for example." Avoid filler sounds ("umm") and incorrect phrases ("country lines").

예시: I prefer rural views because they allow me to escape city noise and traffic. For example, walking through open fields and listening to birds gives me a sense of tranquility and helps me relax.

제안: Clarify and correct grammar and vocabulary, avoid conversational fillers ("you know"), and produce a coherent contrast between home and abroad using linking words like "however" or "on the other hand." Use specific examples and correct names ("Empire State Building").

예시: I like both, but for different reasons. At home, familiar landscapes often evoke childhood memories and comfort; however, views in other countries are exciting because they offer exotic architecture and new perspectives, such as the Empire State Building in New York.

× Yeah, I love photographing in different views, especially in landscapes.

✓ Yeah, I love taking photographs of different views, especially landscapes.

'Photographing in different views' is awkward word order and 'taking photographs of' is the natural collocation. Also 'in landscapes' should be 'especially landscapes' to modify 'views'. Use of present participle 'photographing' is not incorrect grammatically but collocation and preposition choice are wrong; change improves clarity.

× When I travel I often find stunning mountains, rivers or cost of sunsets and I like to capture those moments so I can remember as this fear and share the photos with family and friends.

✓ When I travel I often find stunning mountains, rivers or coastlines at sunset and I like to capture those moments so I can remember them and share the photos with family and friends.

Several issues: 'cost of sunsets' is incorrect; likely intended 'coast at sunset' or 'coastlines at sunset'. 'Remember as this fear' is ungrammatical; correct is 'remember them'. Use of 'or' list needs parallel nouns. Replace with 'coastlines at sunset' and 'remember them' to fix quantifier and pronoun reference.

× I prefer countryside views because they let me escape the noise and heavy traffic of big cities, UMM and enjoying a peaceful atmosphere.

✓ I prefer countryside views because they let me escape the noise and heavy traffic of big cities and enjoy a peaceful atmosphere.

The sentence mixes tense/structure: 'let me escape' followed by 'and enjoying' is nonparallel. Use base verb 'enjoy' to keep parallel structure. Remove filler 'UMM'.

× The open fields and fresh air give me a sense of tranquility and I especially enjoy walking along country lines while listening to bird song.

✓ The open fields and fresh air give me a sense of tranquility and I especially enjoy walking along country lanes while listening to birdsong.

'Country lines' is incorrect; correct noun is 'country lanes'. 'Bird song' is commonly written as 'birdsong' (one word) and is more natural here. Articles are fine; this fixes word choice.

× At home, views are more familiar and nostalgia and often brings back my childhood memories.

✓ At home, views are more familiar and nostalgic and often bring back my childhood memories.

'Nostalgia' is a noun; the intended adjective is 'nostalgic'. Also subject 'views' is plural so verb should be 'bring' not 'brings'. Fixes pronoun/subject-verb agreement and word class.

× You know about views in other countries seeing exotic and captivating.

✓ You know, views in other countries can seem exotic and captivating.

Original sentence is ungrammatical. Add modal 'can' and verb 'seem' for natural expression. This corrects sentence structure and verb usage.

× You know, like the empire building in New York. I very love that.

✓ You know, like the Empire State Building in New York. I really love that.

'Empire building' is incorrect name; correct landmark is 'Empire State Building'. 'I very love that' uses incorrect adverb; 'really' is the proper adverb to modify 'love'. Also capitalize proper noun 'Empire State Building'.