School— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答が長すぎて内容が混乱しています。質問に直接答え、通学の便利さなど具体的な情報に絞って話すと良いでしょう。文を短くし、明確な構造を意識してください。

예시: My school is located in central Tokyo, which makes commuting very convenient. Even though I have graduated and now work as a journalist, I still like to visit the campus because it is easy to get there.

제안: 内容が不明瞭で、話の流れが不自然です。学校の好きな理由を具体的に述べ、関連する情報を整理して話す練習をしましょう。

예시: Yes, I like my school because it has a great reputation in Japan. Ako University is well known for its excellent programs and famous founder, which makes me proud to be a student there.

제안: 理由は明確ですが、接続詞を使って文をつなげるとより自然になります。また、具体的な例を加えると説得力が増します。

예시: No, I don't think my school is a good place to study because there are many friends and people around, which distracts me. Therefore, I prefer to study in the cafeteria or at home where I can focus better on my tasks.

제안: 文法の誤りと冗長な表現があります。環境の特徴を整理し、接続詞を使って論理的に説明しましょう。

예시: My school has a very comfortable environment. For example, there are many vending machines and a quiet, pleasant library. Because of this, I enjoy spending a long time on campus and sometimes prefer it to being at home.

제안: 内容は良いですが、繰り返しや文法の誤りがあります。理由と具体例を明確にし、流れをスムーズにしましょう。

예시: I think interest is very important in studying because it motivates people to learn. For example, when I was a child, I enjoyed watching professional wrestling in English, which helped me improve my language skills.

× My school is in central Tokyo and it is a very convenient place for commuting and now I am a journalist and I graduated from school, but I can easily go to my school as soon as possible, so I like to go there.

✓ My school is in central Tokyo and it is a very convenient place for commuting. Now I am a journalist and I have graduated from school, but I can easily go to my school whenever I want, so I like to go there.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'I graduated' should be 'I have graduated' to indicate a past action with present relevance. Also, 'as soon as possible' is not appropriate here; 'whenever I want' fits better. The sentence is long and should be split for clarity.

× My school is named as Ako University which is one of the well known private colleges in Japan and many people know the name of KO because the founder is a really well known and used as money.

✓ My school is named Ako University, which is one of the well-known private colleges in Japan, and many people know the name of Ako because the founder is really well known and wealthy.

The phrase 'named as' is incorrect; it should be 'named'. 'Well known' should be hyphenated when used as an adjective. 'KO' seems to be a typo for 'Ako'. 'Used as money' is unclear and incorrect; 'wealthy' or 'rich' is appropriate here.

× Uh, no, I don't think so. Because there are many friends and people there. I can't concentrate on my studying in school. Instead, I always study in cafeteria or in my home. I can easily focus on doing the task.

✓ Uh, no, I don't think so because there are many friends and people there, so I can't concentrate on my studying at school. Instead, I always study in the cafeteria or at home, where I can easily focus on my tasks.

Starting a sentence with 'Because' is informal and can cause sentence fragments. 'In cafeteria' should be 'in the cafeteria'. 'In my home' is better as 'at home'. 'Doing the task' is awkward; 'my tasks' or 'my work' is better.

× My school is a very comfortable and I can spend for a long time inside the campus because there are many vending machines and very quiet and pleasant library and so I want to spend the time there and I don't like to come back to home.

✓ My school is very comfortable and I can spend a long time on campus because there are many vending machines and a very quiet and pleasant library. I want to spend time there and I don't like to go back home.

'Spend for a long time' is incorrect; it should be 'spend a long time'. 'Inside the campus' is better as 'on campus'. 'Very quiet and pleasant library' needs an article: 'a very quiet and pleasant library'. 'Come back to home' should be 'go back home'.

× I think interest is one of the most important factors when someone studies, and that's mainly because I I it makes people motivated about studying something. In my experience when I was a child, I always watched professional wrestling in English and I liked this.

✓ I think interest is one of the most important factors when someone studies, and that's mainly because it makes people motivated to study something. In my experience, when I was a child, I always watched professional wrestling in English and I liked it.

The phrase 'I I it' is a typo and confusing; it should be 'it'. 'Motivated about studying something' is incorrect; 'motivated to study something' is correct. 'I liked this' should be 'I liked it' to refer to the previous activity.