School— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence giving the location, then add one or two specific details (e.g., city or activities you did) using linking words. Avoid repetition and unnecessary phrases like “As I belong to India” and reduce sentence length to stay within 3–4 short sentences.

예시: My school is Bhatwan Parasharam Public School in India. I studied there from primary to high school and took part in sports and debate club. I have fond memories of playing cricket with friends and joining annual cultural shows.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use one clear reason and one specific example. Use a linking word (because/which) to connect the reason and the example. Keep sentences short and natural.

예시: Yes, I liked my school very much because it was well respected in the city and had supportive teachers. For example, my math teacher gave extra classes after school, which helped me improve my grades.

제안: Be concise and correct grammar. Give one concise reason (supportive teachers/environment) and a specific example of how they helped. Avoid filler words and correct spelling errors. Use a linking word like “because” or “so” to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, it was a good place to study because the teachers were very supportive. For instance, they held weekly after-class tutoring sessions, so many students improved their exam scores.

제안: Speak more clearly and correct mistakes. Begin with a clear topic sentence describing the environment, then add one specific detail or example. Avoid hesitations, repetition and incorrect words (“spoon” instead of “school”).

예시: The environment at my school was peaceful and positive, which made learning easier. For example, classrooms were quiet and teachers encouraged group study, so students focused better and achieved higher grades.

제안: Give a clear opinion and support it with a specific reason and example. Use correct grammar and smoother phrasing (e.g., “essential” instead of “indispensable” may sound more natural). Mention one concrete outcome of being interested in study.

예시: Interest in studying is essential because it motivates you to learn more and retain information. For example, a student who enjoys reading about science will study regularly and is more likely to pursue a related career or get a good job in the future.

× As I belong to India, so my school is in India and my school name is Bhatwan Parasharam Public School.

✓ I am from India, so my school is in India and my school's name is Bhatwan Parasharam Public School.

Use of 'belong to' with a country is incorrect; say 'I am from India'. Also possessive form for the school's name should be 'my school's name'. Remove redundant 'so' after the introductory clause or keep but ensure sentence flow. Suggestion: 'I am from India, and my school's name is Bhatwan Parasharam Public School.'

× I did a lot of activities in my school when I was a student and I would say I often miss my school and my school friends.

✓ I did a lot of activities at my school when I was a student, and I would say I often miss my school and my school friends.

Use 'at' for activities taking place at a location rather than 'in'. The tense shift 'did... and I would say I often miss' keeps past activity and present feeling; keep 'miss' in present to express current feeling. Also add a comma before 'and' to join clauses.

× Absolutely yes. I like my school very very much as it is one of the well known schools in my city and the teachers of my school were really helpful and they assisted me in studying and getting good marks.

✓ Absolutely, yes. I like my school very much because it is one of the well-known schools in my city, and the teachers were really helpful; they assisted me in studying and in getting good marks.

Avoid repeating 'very' consecutively; use 'very much'. 'Well known' should be hyphenated as 'well-known' when used before a noun. Reduce redundancy 'teachers of my school' to 'the teachers'. Use consistent past tense 'were' for past experience. Add conjunctions/punctuation for clarity and use 'in getting' for parallel structure.

× Oh yes, it is a good place to study because of the environment of my school and the teachers as they were really supportive and helpful and they used to help us even after the class which definitely helped us in sporing scoring good marks.

✓ Oh yes, it is a good place to study because of the school's environment and the teachers; they were really supportive and used to help us even after class, which definitely helped us in scoring good marks.

Use 'school's environment' for natural phrasing. Remove redundant 'supportive and helpful' to avoid repetition. 'Used to help us even after class' is correct for habitual past action. 'Sporing' is a typo; replace with 'scoring'. Ensure punctuation to separate clauses.

× It was really peaceful and positive environment because it helps students in learning in an, in a proper way and getting good, uh, grades. So I would say there was an, there was a positive environment in my spoon.

✓ It was a really peaceful and positive environment because it helped students to learn in a proper way and to get good grades. So I would say there was a positive environment in my school.

Add article 'a' before 'really peaceful'. Maintain past tense 'helped' to match 'it was'. Use 'helped students to learn' or 'helped students learn' for correct infinitive use. Remove filler 'uh'. 'Spoon' is a mispronunciation; correct to 'school'.

× To get good grades it's really indispensable to study and to show some interest while studying because study helps us a lot in our life.

✓ To get good grades, it's essential to study and to show interest while studying because studying helps us a lot in life.

Use comma after introductory phrase. 'Indispensable' is grammatically correct but 'essential' is more natural. Use 'studying helps us' rather than 'study helps us' for consistent noun form; omit 'our' before 'life' as 'in life' is more natural. Remove 'some' before 'interest' unless emphasizing degree.

× If we are studying well then we can get good job in the near.

✓ If we study well, then we can get a good job in the near future.

Use simple present 'study' for conditional general truth (zero/first conditional). Include article 'a' before 'good job'. Complete the phrase 'in the near future' rather than 'in the near'.