School— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and clear. Start with one topic sentence stating where your school(s) were, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., use past tense consistently and correct nouns/plurals). Use linking words like "because" or "so" correctly.

예시: I attended several different schools as a child, mainly in various districts around my city. Because my family moved frequently for work, I went to about six or seven schools, each in a different neighborhood, so I never stayed long in one place.

제안: Respond directly (Yes/No) then explain with specific reasons and a brief example. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g., "I didn't like the discipline system") and concise linking words like "because" and "for example." Avoid vague phrases and double negatives.

예시: Not really. I disliked those schools because the discipline system was too strict and I was bullied frequently. For example, teachers rarely intervened when I was teased, which made school an unpleasant place for me.

제안: Start with a clear overall judgement (e.g., "Partly") and give two specific supporting points: one positive and one negative. Use accurate vocabulary ("extracurricular" not "exterior circular") and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, plural forms).

예시: Partly. The school had a solid curriculum and committed teachers, but it lacked modern facilities and extracurricular activities. For instance, there were only a few science labs, so practical experiments were often difficult to arrange.

제안: Give a concise topic sentence describing the environment, then two clear supporting details with examples. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, singular/plural) and more precise vocabulary (e.g., "focused on academics" rather than "just education").

예시: The school environment was very academic and rather dull. For example, the administration spent little on arts or science facilities, so students had few opportunities for creative or practical activities; we mainly attended lessons and went home.

제안: Give a clear opinion first and then provide specific reasons and an example. Use accurate word forms ("children are" not "children's are"), and choose concise expressions ("interest in study" -> "interest in studying" or "motivation to study"). Use linking words like "because" and "for example."

예시: Interest in studying is very important because it drives learning and long-term development. For example, motivated students are more likely to complete assignments and seek extra resources, but nowadays social media often distracts children and reduces their study time.

× When I was a child, I went to really different schools.

✓ When I was a child, I went to many different schools.

The original sentence uses 'really different' which is awkward and not idiomatic here. 'Many different' properly conveys plurality and quantity in past tense. Use of past tense verb 'went' is correct.

× I want to approximately six to seven different school and they both located, they are all located in different regions and different districts.

✓ I attended approximately six to seven different schools, and they were all located in different regions and districts.

Multiple errors: 'I want' is incorrect verb choice for past experience; 'approximately six to seven different school' has singular 'school' instead of plural 'schools'; 'they both located' is ungrammatical and mismatches number ('both' implies two). Use past-tense 'attended' to match 'When I was a child' and plural 'schools'; 'they were all located' expresses location correctly.

× So I wasn't settled in a certain one because we tend to move a lot in the past.

✓ So I wasn't settled in one place because we tended to move a lot in the past.

'Tend' should be in past tense 'tended' to match 'wasn't' and 'in the past'. 'A certain one' is awkward; 'one place' is more natural. The original mixes present habitual with past timeframe.

× I used to not hate but I didn't like my schools a lot because I didn't like the system that they were running by and I hated the fact that I was being bullied often so and I couldn't find anyone to help back then so it wasn't the fun.

✓ I didn't hate them, but I didn't like my schools very much because I didn't like the system they were run by, and I hated that I was often bullied and couldn't find anyone to help back then, so it wasn't fun.

Multiple tense and phrasing issues: 'I used to not hate' is awkward—simpler 'I didn't hate them' fits. 'My schools a lot' should be 'very much'. 'Running by' is incorrect; passive 'run by' is correct. 'I was being bullied often' is acceptable but 'I was often bullied' is more natural. Remove extraneous 'so' and 'the' before 'fun'.

× Partially, the schools provides solid curriculum and dedicated teachers, but it lacks modern facilities and exteriors exterior circular options.

✓ Partially, the schools provide a solid curriculum and dedicated teachers, but they lack modern facilities and extracurricular options.

Subject-verb agreement: 'schools' (plural) requires 'provide' not 'provides'. 'Curriculum' should be 'a solid curriculum' or 'solid curricula'—use singular with 'a'. 'Exteriors exterior circular options' is garbled; intended 'extracurricular options'. Also 'they lack' matches plural subject.

× For instance, we have a few science lab which makes practical lessons difficult.

✓ For instance, we have only a few science labs, which makes practical lessons difficult.

'A few science lab' is singular while 'a few' requires plural 'labs'. Adding 'only' clarifies scarcity. Relative clause 'which makes' correctly refers to the scarcity causing difficulty.

× The environments are at my school wasn't very amusing because it was mostly focused on education and not any other facilities.

✓ The environment at my schools wasn't very engaging because it was mostly focused on education and not other facilities.

Mismatch and awkward phrasing: 'The environments are at my school wasn't' mixes plural and singular and tenses. Use 'The environment at my schools wasn't' if referring to multiple schools, or 'at my school wasn't' for singular. 'Amusing' is odd for a school environment; 'engaging' is better. 'Not any other facilities' should be 'not other facilities'.

× Like there is no money put in a science lab or arts schools.

✓ For example, no money was put into the science labs or arts programs.

Preposition 'in' is acceptable but 'put into' is more natural for funding. 'Arts schools' likely means 'arts programs' or 'arts departments'. Use past tense 'was put' to match context.

× They all focus on just education.

✓ They all focus only on education.

Position of adverb: 'just education' is understandable but 'focus only on education' is clearer and more natural. This corrects adverb placement and improves sentence flow.

× I believe interesting study is very vital and important to someone's growth.

✓ I believe interesting study is very important for someone's growth.

'Very vital and important' is redundant; choose 'very important'. 'Interesting study' is odd—better 'an interesting approach to study' or 'engaging study', but minimal correction keeps 'interesting study'. Preposition 'for' is more natural than 'to' in this context.

× However, children's are not as motivated as they were in the past to go to school and study because with the existence of social media, the phone often takes a lot of our time, especially young people who does it.

✓ However, children are not as motivated as they were in the past to go to school and study because, with the existence of social media, phones often take a lot of our time, especially young people who use them.

'Children's' is possessive; use plural noun 'children'. 'The phone' is too specific—use 'phones'. Subject-verb agreement: 'young people who does it' should be 'young people who use them' (plural verb and pronoun). Overall pronoun and verb agreement corrected and phrasing made natural.