Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise, reduce hesitations and repetition, and structure your answer with a clear topic sentence plus one specific supporting detail. Avoid irrelevant words like “gadgets” which confuses the meaning. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) correctly and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: No, I didn't have a bike as a child because my parents couldn't afford one. As a result, I often walked to school and sometimes borrowed a neighbour's bike on weekends.

제안: Give a clear, well-organised answer: state your opinion, then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, “firstly,” “also,” or “because”). Avoid contradictions and filler words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., “commuters,” “fitness enthusiasts”) and concrete examples or trends.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. Firstly, many young adults use bicycles for exercise and commuting because they want to stay fit and avoid traffic. Also, city governments have improved bike lanes, which makes cycling safer and more attractive.

× To be honest, I didn't have a bike when I was a child and, umm, because my parents were just, uh, uh, regular work workers who, uh, didn't earn a lot.

✓ To be honest, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my parents were ordinary workers who didn't earn a lot.

The sentence had redundancy and word-choice issues rather than pure tense errors; however the main grammar problem is sentence structure with unnecessary conjunction 'and' before 'because' and the awkward phrase 'regular work workers.' Removing 'and,' combining clauses correctly, and using 'ordinary workers' or 'manual workers' improves clarity. Suggestion: avoid filler words, do not start a subordinate clause with 'and because'; write '...when I was a child because...'.

× So I, I can't recall having any, umm, uh, any gadgets.

✓ So I can't recall having any gadgets.

This sentence contains repetition and fillers but the main issue is unnecessary duplication 'I, I' and extraneous commas. The present tense 'can't recall' is acceptable for a past experience described from present perspective. Correct by removing duplicated subject and filler words. Suggestion: speak concisely: 'I can't recall having any gadgets.'

× Definitely, yes, uh, bikes are popular, uh, among adults, young adults, not among kids or, or uh, adults.

✓ Definitely, yes. Bikes are popular among young adults and adults, but not among children.

Original sentence is disfluent and self-contradictory ('adults' repeated and listed with 'not among kids or adults'). The grammar problem is sentence structure and clarity: use parallel structure and clear contrast with 'but not among'. Replace 'kids' with 'children' for formality and remove repetitions and fillers. Suggestion: organize ideas: state groups, then contrast using 'but' or 'however'.

× Uh, why is it popular? Uh, a new generation started to focus on their health and uh, they do purchase bikes to, uh, to, to lead.

✓ A new generation has started to focus on their health, and they buy bikes to get exercise.

Several issues: tense and verb choice and an incomplete phrase 'to lead' which makes sentence ungrammatical. Use present perfect 'has started' to show a recent trend continuing to present, or simple past 'started' if referring to a past change; here present-perfect fits. Replace 'do purchase' with simpler 'buy' and correct the purpose clause to 'to get exercise' or 'to improve their fitness.' Suggestion: express purpose clearly with 'to' + base verb and avoid filler repetitions.