Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific supporting details, avoid fillers (umm) and confusing phrases. Keep to natural phrasing and within 3–4 sentences. For example, say when you got the bike, who gave it to you, and a brief memory or feeling about riding it.

예시: Yes, I did. My mother bought me a red bicycle when I was seven, and I learned to ride it in our neighborhood park. I remember feeling excited and a bit nervous at first, but I quickly became confident and rode it every day after school.

제안: Use correct grammar and clearer linking: start with a direct opinion, then give 2 specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, moreover). Avoid repetition and informal fillers. Include a short prediction or example to enrich the answer.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in the Philippines. For example, many people choose bicycles because fuel is expensive and cycling is cheaper and healthier. Moreover, more cities are improving bike lanes, so I think cycling will become even more common in the next few years.

× Yes I did, my mother brought me a bike and umm, I hope it was really fun writing it but umm, I don't know.

✓ Yes, I did. My mother bought me a bike and, um, I remember it was really fun, but I'm not sure of the details.

The student mixed tenses and used incorrect verb choice. 'Brought' can be correct but 'bought' is likely intended if mother purchased it; however to stick with past recollection, use simple past consistently: 'I did' and 'bought'/'brought' and 'I remembered/it was'. Also 'hope' is present and clashes with past narrative, so change to 'I remember' or 'it was' to keep past tense. Remove filler 'writing it' which is incorrect in context. Suggestions: use consistent past tense for memories (e.g., 'My mother bought me a bike and I remember it was really fun.').

× Yes umm bikes is popular especially here in the Philippines because the the gas prices are so high.

✓ Yes, um, bikes are popular here in the Philippines because the gas prices are so high.

Subject 'bikes' is plural, so the verb must be plural 'are' rather than 'is'. Also remove duplicated word 'the the' and unnecessary 'especially' placement. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with the subject number (singular vs plural).

× So the people here are thinking of anyway that they can save more.

✓ So people here are thinking of ways they can save more.

The phrase 'thinking of anyway that' is unidiomatic. Use present continuous 'are thinking' is acceptable, but follow it with 'of ways' to describe methods. 'Anyway' is incorrect as a noun; replace with 'ways' or 'methods'. Also drop 'the' before 'people' for a more natural general statement. Suggestion: use natural collocations (thinking of ways/methods) and maintain present continuous for ongoing actions.