Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more precise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct the phrasing (e.g., “gave me a bike” instead of “presented me”), and add one specific detail about the bike or how you felt using it. Keep it concise (no more than 3–4 sentences) and use a linking word if you add a reason or result.

예시: Yes, I did. My mother gave me a red bicycle as a reward when I passed my Grade 5 scholarship exam, and I was thrilled to ride it around the neighborhood. Because it had training wheels at first, I learned to balance quickly and gained a lot of confidence.

제안: Make the answer more natural and organized. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give specific supporting details and use linking words (e.g., “also,” “for example,” “because”). Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing like “use bicycles to ride.” Provide one or two concrete examples (children, commuters) and a reason why bikes are popular.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many children ride them for fun, and lots of adults use bicycles to commute to work because they are cheap and convenient in crowded cities.

× My mother presented me when I passed my grade 5 scholarship.

✓ My mother presented me with a bike when I passed my Grade 5 scholarship.

The verb 'presented' requires a past participle construction with the indirect object or the preposition 'with' to show what was given. Also 'Grade 5' is a fixed phrase and 'a bike' specifies the object. Suggestion: use 'presented me with a bike' or 'gave me a bike' to be natural.

× Yes, of course, they are very popular in my country along with many children.

✓ Yes, of course, they are very popular among children in my country.

The phrase 'along with many children' is awkward and causes a sentence structure issue. Use the preposition 'among' to indicate prevalence within a group and place 'in my country' where it clearly modifies 'popular'. Suggestion: 'popular among children in my country.'

× And not only that, the people around here use bicycles to ride.

✓ Also, people around here ride bicycles.

The original uses redundancy 'use bicycles to ride' and an unnecessary definite article 'the'. This is a pronoun/word choice and structure issue. Simplify to 'people around here ride bicycles.' Suggestion: avoid redundant verbs and unnecessary articles.

× Some of them are using bikes to go to their work also.

✓ Some of them use bikes to go to work as well.

The progressive 'are using' implies a temporary action; for habitual actions simple present 'use' is appropriate. 'Their work' is awkward; 'to go to work' is the idiomatic expression. Place 'as well' at end for natural emphasis. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual activities and idiomatic 'go to work.'