Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, fluent and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm, uh), and correct factual contradictions (two-wheeled bicycle vs tricycle). Limit to up to 4 sentences, add one or two specific supporting details (who you rode with, where, or a memory) and use linking words to make it coherent.

예시: Yes, I had a small bicycle when I was about ten. It was a two-wheeled kids’ bike that I often rode around my neighborhood with my friends. Because the local park was nearby, we spent many afternoons racing and practicing turns, which helped me become more confident on the road.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence, reduce fillers, and give specific supporting details and reasons. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and include brief evidence or comparison (e.g., statistics, typical uses, or contrasts with cars). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country. For example, many adults prefer bikes over cars because they are cheaper and easier to park in crowded cities. As a result, people often use bikes for short trips, commuting to work, or running errands in the neighborhood.

× I had a small bicycle that usually the kids have, umm, with two wheels.

✓ I had a small bicycle that kids usually have, with two wheels.

The word order was awkward; move 'usually' before the verb phrase. No plural change needed beyond 'kids'. Suggestion: place adverb before verb or adjective it modifies for clarity.

× I can call it a tricycle as well.

✓ I could also call it a tricycle.

Modal choice and word order: 'can' is acceptable for ability but here 'could' or 'also' fit conversational past more naturally. Place 'also' before the verb to indicate addition. Suggestion: use 'could also' when referring back to a past item.

× Uh, I had that when I was the in the age of I think 10.

✓ I had that when I was about ten years old.

Incorrect article 'the' before 'age' and awkward phrasing. Use 'about ten years old' to state age naturally. Suggestion: express age as 'X years old' or 'about X' without 'the in the age of'.

× At that time I had a bicycle.

✓ At that time I had the bicycle.

Context suggests referring back to the specific bicycle already mentioned, so use the definite article 'the'. Using 'a' is not wrong but 'the' is clearer to indicate the same bicycle. Suggestion: use 'the' when referring to a specific previously mentioned item.

× Yes, bikes are really popular in my country uh, in adults, most of the people don't have cars, they have bike uh, whenever they want to go out or they have any kind of small uh, outdoor chore, they get their bike along with them to do that uh, activity or for that.

✓ Yes, bikes are really popular in my country. Among adults, most people don't have cars; they have bikes. Whenever they want to go out or do any small outdoor chore, they take their bike with them to do that activity.

Pronoun and noun number mismatches: 'in adults' should be 'among adults'; 'most of the people' is better as 'most people'; 'they have bike' requires plural 'bikes' or possessive 'a bike'; 'get their bike along with them' is awkward — use 'take their bike with them'. Also streamline repetitive phrases. Suggestion: ensure plural agreement and use appropriate prepositions ('among'), and simplify phrasing for clarity.