News— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は少し冗長で文法的な誤りもあります。より自然で効果的な表現にするために、簡潔に主題文を述べ、その後に具体的な理由を述べる練習をしましょう。

예시: Yes, I am very interested in news because it provides me with important information about current events and helps me understand society better.

제안: 回答は内容が伝わりますが、文のつながりがやや単調です。接続詞を使って文をつなげ、より流暢に話す練習をしましょう。

예시: I usually find news online by using my smartphone and social media, but I also sometimes check the newspaper for more detailed information.

제안: 理由の説明が少し不明瞭で文法的な誤りもあります。理由を明確にし、接続詞を使って論理的に話す練習をしましょう。

예시: I wouldn't like to be a journalist because I think it's a challenging and dangerous job that requires going out to gather information, so I really respect those who do it.

제안: 内容が少し混乱しており、文法的な誤りもあります。具体的な内容を正確に伝え、感想を述べる際は適切な形容詞を使う練習をしましょう。

예시: Yes, I read the news this morning about a car accident in Osaka yesterday where two people were killed. It was shocking and caught my attention.

제안: 文が長くて少しわかりにくいです。簡潔に話し、文法の誤りを直し、接続詞を使って論理的に話す練習をしましょう。

예시: Yes, I often talk with my friends about the news because I want to hear their opinions. When we meet, we sometimes discuss recent events in society, which I find inspiring.

× That's because I, if I see news, the news is going to give me a lot of information about and I also I can gain the knowledge about what's happening in current society.

✓ That's because if I see news, the news is going to give me a lot of information and I can also gain knowledge about what's happening in current society.

The phrase 'a lot of information about' is incomplete and awkward; 'about' should be followed by a specific topic. Also, 'I also I can' is redundant; 'I can also' is correct. The sentence structure is improved by removing unnecessary commas and words for clarity.

× I usually search News Online.

✓ I usually search for news online.

The verb 'search' requires the preposition 'for' when followed by the object. Also, 'News' should not be capitalized unless it is part of a title, and 'online' should be lowercase as it is an adverb here.

× That's because in my image the journalist is really challenging and a tough job because they need to go out even and there is really dangerous and they need to gather information.

✓ That's because in my view, being a journalist is really challenging and a tough job because they need to go out even in dangerous situations and gather information.

The phrase 'in my image' is incorrect; 'in my view' or 'in my opinion' is appropriate. The sentence structure is awkward and missing words; 'there is really dangerous' should be 'it is really dangerous' or 'in dangerous situations'. Also, 'the journalist is really challenging' should be 'being a journalist is really challenging'.

× The latest news I've checked is that the accident which happened yesterday in Osaka, it was a car accident and two people murdered.

✓ The latest news I've checked is that the accident which happened yesterday in Osaka was a car accident and two people were murdered.

The phrase 'two people murdered' is missing the auxiliary verb 'were' to form the passive voice in past tense. Also, 'it was a car accident' is better integrated without 'it' to avoid redundancy.

× It was surprising and I was really interesting.

✓ It was surprising and I was really interested.

'Interesting' describes something that causes interest, while 'interested' describes a feeling of interest. Since the speaker is describing their own feeling, 'interested' is correct.

× So when I get my I and my friend get back, we sometimes chat about the latest news and what's happened in the society and I think that's really inspiring opportunity for me.

✓ So when I get back and my friend gets back, we sometimes chat about the latest news and what's happened in society, and I think that's a really inspiring opportunity for me.

The phrase 'I get my I' is incorrect and likely a typo; it should be 'I get back'. Also, 'my friend get back' should be 'my friend gets back' to agree with the third person singular subject. 'In the society' should be 'in society' without 'the'. Also, 'inspiring opportunity' needs the article 'a' before it.