Sharing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は直接的で内容も理解しやすいですが、文が少し長く冗長に感じられます。より自然で効果的な表現にするために、文を分けて簡潔に述べることを意識しましょう。例えば、理由を述べる際に接続詞を使い、論理的に繋げると良いです。

예시: Yes, my parents encouraged me to share many things, such as bicycles, books, and ideas. They believe that sharing helps build stronger relationships, which will be useful for me in the future.

제안: 回答は具体例を含んでいますが、文法的に不自然な部分や表現の繰り返しがあります。より自然な英語にするために、文の構造を見直し、接続詞を使って論理的に繋げる練習をしましょう。

예시: I often share ideas with my friends. For example, when I watch news online, I share interesting points with my classmates, which helps me improve my critical thinking and speaking skills.

제안: 内容は明確で自然ですが、少しだけ表現を滑らかにするとより良くなります。例えば、"my privacy"よりも"private"や"personal"という形容詞を使うと自然です。

예시: Yes, I prefer not to share books I have read before because I usually write many notes in them. I don't want others to see these notes since they are personal.

제안: 回答の意味が少し分かりにくく、文法や語彙の誤りがあります。特に後半の部分は意味が不明瞭なので、より明確で簡潔な表現を心がけましょう。接続詞を使って意見と理由を論理的に繋げることも重要です。

예시: I think more people will share cars in the future because it is a cost-effective way to travel. Sharing cars can save money compared to buying one, and people usually pay a fair price to use shared cars.

× Yes, my parents encouraged me to share a lot of things such as bicycles, books and ideas because by sharing a lot of things, we can build a stronger relationship with others, which is useful in the future for me.

✓ Yes, my parents encouraged me to share many things such as bicycles, books, and ideas because by sharing many things, we can build stronger relationships with others, which will be useful for me in the future.

The phrase 'a lot of things' is acceptable but 'many things' is more appropriate for countable nouns like bicycles, books, and ideas. Also, 'a stronger relationship' should be plural 'stronger relationships' because sharing with multiple people builds multiple relationships. The phrase 'which is useful in the future for me' is better expressed as 'which will be useful for me in the future' to clarify the future benefit.

× I often share ideas with others. For example, when I watch News Online, I tend to share this idea with my friend in the classroom, which I found useful because I can improve critical thinking and speaking skills.

✓ I often share ideas with others. For example, when I watch news online, I tend to share these ideas with my friends in the classroom, which I find useful because I can improve my critical thinking and speaking skills.

'News Online' should be lowercase as 'news online' since it is a general term. 'This idea' should be plural 'these ideas' to match 'ideas' shared. 'My friend' should be plural 'my friends' to match the plural sharing context. 'I found useful' should be present tense 'I find useful' to match the ongoing action. Also, 'critical thinking and speaking skills' should be preceded by 'my' to specify the skills being improved.

× Yes. I don't want to share books I read before because I tend to write down a lot of notes in my books when I read them.

✓ Yes. I don't want to share books I have read before because I tend to write down a lot of notes in my books when I read them.

The phrase 'books I read before' requires the present perfect tense 'books I have read before' to indicate an action completed at an unspecified time in the past relevant to the present.

× I don't want others to read these notes because they are my privacy.

✓ I don't want others to read these notes because they are my private notes.

The phrase 'they are my privacy' is incorrect because 'privacy' is an uncountable noun and cannot be possessed in this way. It is better to say 'they are my private notes' to express that the notes are personal and not for sharing.

× In my opinion, more people will share cars in the future because it is a reasonable way to travel. However, if we buy cars, we have to pay a lot of money sharing cars and never ask to use cars without paying much money.

✓ In my opinion, more people will share cars in the future because it is a reasonable way to travel. However, if we buy cars, we have to pay a lot of money. Sharing cars means we do not have to pay as much or ask to use cars without paying.

The original sentence is confusing and lacks clarity. The phrase 'we have to pay a lot of money sharing cars and never ask to use cars without paying much money' is unclear. It is better to separate the ideas: buying cars requires paying a lot, but sharing cars reduces costs and avoids using cars without paying. This improves sentence structure and clarity.