Sharing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words ("uh"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific example or brief reason using a linking word. Correct minor grammar: say "at a young age" instead of "in a young age."

예시: Yes, my parents taught me to share when I was a child. For example, they encouraged me to share toys and snacks with my siblings, which helped me develop empathy and good manners.

제안: Avoid repetition and uncertainty phrases ("I don't know"). Give a structured answer: one topic sentence, then specific examples and a linking phrase. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I usually like to share food and books with others. For instance, I often bring snacks to share at work and lend novels to my friends because we enjoy discussing them afterward.

제안: Start with a clear general statement, then give a concise personal example and connect them with a linking word (e.g., "for example" or "because"). Remove hesitations like "I don't know."

예시: Items that require exclusive use, such as a car, are not suitable for sharing. For example, when I shared a car with my brother, we often argued because we both needed it at the same time.

제안: Good clear answer. To improve, combine sentences more smoothly with a linking word and provide a brief specific example of an item you shared recently.

예시: Yes, I often share clothes with my sister because we wear the same size. For example, last week I lent her a jacket for an event, and she lent me a dress in return.

제안: Avoid repeating similar ideas. Give one clear topic sentence and then add a specific reason or brief example using a linking word like "because."

예시: The first people I would share good news with are my parents, especially my mom, because they always support me. For instance, when I passed an important exam, I called my mother first to celebrate.

제안: Remove fillers ("uh") and be more specific: state the types of news and one concrete example. Use linking words like "for example" and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I usually share achievements and goals with my friends, such as getting a promotion or finishing a project. For example, I told my close friends when I completed a long-term research project because they had supported me throughout.

× sharing is a very important thing to be taught in a young age.

✓ sharing is a very important thing to be taught at a young age.

Use 'at' with the phrase 'a young age' to indicate the time when something happens. 'In a young age' is not idiomatic; 'at a young age' or 'when young' are correct. Suggestion: say 'at a young age' or 'when I was young.'

× this doesn't only help you become a lovable person, it also teaches you good manners.

✓ this not only helps you become a lovable person, it also teaches you good manners.

When using 'not only... but also' the negation should precede the verb phrase for parallel structure. 'This doesn't only help' is informal and less grammatical; 'this not only helps... it also teaches...' keeps correct subject-verb agreement and parallelism. Suggestion: use 'This not only helps... it also...'.

× I love sharing food. I love sharing. I like lending books.

✓ I love sharing food. I love sharing things. I like lending books.

The original second sentence 'I love sharing.' is acceptable but vague; corrected to 'I love sharing things.' for clarity. No strict grammatical error, but improving noun after sharing clarifies meaning. Suggestion: specify the object after 'sharing.'

× I don't know if I was able to convey the idea.

✓ I don't know if I was able to convey the idea.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable. No correction needed. Keep as is.

× I don't know, maybe like a car 'cause it's difficult to share a car.

✓ I don't know, maybe a car, because it's difficult to share a car.

Avoid colloquial 'like' and contraction ''cause' in formal responses. Use 'because' to introduce reason and remove redundant 'like.' Suggestion: say 'maybe a car, because it's difficult to share.'

× I remember when I used to share my car with my brother, we used to fight all the time 'cause we would need it at the same time.

✓ I remember when I used to share my car with my brother; we used to fight all the time because we needed it at the same time.

Mixing 'would need' with 'used to' is inconsistent. Use past simple 'needed' for habitual past events. Also replace ''cause' with 'because' and use a semicolon or conjunction to join related clauses. Suggestion: '...we used to fight all the time because we needed it at the same time.'

× I share my clothes with my sister.

✓ I share my clothes with my sister.

This present simple sentence is correct to describe a habitual action. No correction needed.

× We both have the same size so it's easy to just share clothes.

✓ We both wear the same size, so it's easy to just share clothes.

Saying 'have the same size' is understandable but 'wear the same size' is the natural collocation for clothing. Insert comma before 'so.' Suggestion: 'We both wear the same size, so it's easy to share clothes.'

× I also borrow some of her clothes, so yeah, we both share.

✓ I also borrow some of her clothes, so yeah, we both share.

Sentence is acceptable. No correction needed beyond style. 'We both share' is slightly redundant but grammatically okay.

× Definitely my mom and my parents in general.

✓ Definitely my mom, and my parents in general.

Add a comma to separate items for clarity. The sentence fragment is acceptable in spoken answers; punctuation improves readability. Suggestion: 'Definitely my mom, and my parents in general.'

× They always support me and I just want to make them proud and make them happy.

✓ They always support me, and I just want to make them proud and happy.

Combine 'make them proud and happy' to avoid repetition of 'make' and add a comma before 'and' to join two independent clauses. Suggestion: '...I just want to make them proud and happy.'

× Probably achieving, uh, good results, achieving a specific goal I've been working on.

✓ Probably good results, such as achieving a specific goal I've been working on.

Original is a fragment with awkward repetition of 'achieving.' Rephrase to a noun phrase 'good results' and give an example with 'such as.' Suggestion: 'Probably good results, such as achieving a specific goal I've been working on.'

× I also love, uh, making them happy because they always support me and they're always by my side just as much as I support them and would love to hear good news about them.

✓ I also love making them happy because they always support me and they're always by my side just as much as I support them, and I would love to hear good news about them.

Sentence is run-on and missing a subject for the final clause 'would love.' Add 'I' before 'would love' and insert commas to separate ideas. This fixes sentence structure and clarity. Suggestion: split into two sentences if needed: 'I also love making them happy because they always support me and are by my side. I would love to hear good news about them.'