Science— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and directly address the question. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for clarity. For example, start with a clear topic sentence about your enjoyment and then briefly explain why.

예시: I didn't enjoy studying science at school because it was mostly theoretical and boring. However, at university, I found science exciting, especially in my nursing course where I learned practical biology.

제안: Reduce the use of fillers like 'uh' and 'um' to make your speech more fluent. Also, organise your answer logically using linking words and be more specific about how you use your knowledge daily.

예시: Yes, I use my science knowledge daily in my nursing studies. For instance, I regularly read online research and guidelines to stay updated, which helps me advise my family and friends on health matters.

제안: Clarify your ideas and avoid vague phrases. Use linking words to connect your points and be specific about the science subject you want to learn more about and why.

예시: I would like to learn more about medical science, especially how diseases are treated. During the COVID-19 pandemic, this knowledge was crucial for treating patients and keeping people safe, so it's important for everyone to stay informed.

제안: Make your answer more coherent by using linking words and complete your sentences. Provide specific reasons why science is important for everyone.

예시: Yes, I think everyone should study science because it helps us understand the world better. Even if it is not related to their job, science encourages curiosity and helps us make informed decisions as responsible citizens.

제안: Improve sentence structure and clarity. Avoid vague references and explain clearly why you like watching science programs, using linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I enjoy watching science TV programs because they are entertaining and educational. Studies show that watching such programs helps improve memory, and I find that I remember many interesting facts from them.

× we had lots of theoretical method of educating science

✓ we had lots of theoretical methods of educating science

The noun 'method' should be plural 'methods' because it is preceded by 'lots of', which indicates a plural noun is needed.

× I could learn a lot about different science like biology

✓ I could learn a lot about different sciences like biology

The noun 'science' should be plural 'sciences' when referring to different branches or types of science.

× I search, uh, lots of uh, subjects and uh, guidelines and also lots of, uh, uh, research, uh, on, uh, online resources

✓ I search lots of subjects and guidelines and also lots of research on online resources

The preposition 'on' is correctly used with 'online resources', but the sentence is cluttered with unnecessary fillers and commas. Removing fillers improves clarity and grammar.

× I can pass on my knowledge to my families, friends, and the like

✓ I can pass on my knowledge to my family, friends, and the like

The word 'families' is incorrect here; 'family' is usually uncountable or singular when referring to one's relatives collectively.

× My favorite science is math science

✓ My favorite science is mathematics

The term 'math science' is incorrect; the correct term is 'mathematics' or 'math'.

× I focus on learning about different kinds of in this area because I can't develop my education

✓ I focus on learning about different kinds in this area because I want to develop my education

The phrase 'different kinds of in this area' is incomplete and unclear. Also, 'can't develop my education' is incorrect; 'want to develop my education' fits the context better.

× I can learn a lot from different diseases and we can cure them, treat them

✓ I can learn a lot about different diseases and how we can cure and treat them

The phrase 'learn from different diseases' is better expressed as 'learn about different diseases'. Also, combining 'cure them, treat them' into 'cure and treat them' improves fluency.

× So it's really important to learn about different things of medical science during COVID. Period

✓ So it's really important to learn about different aspects of medical science during the COVID period

The phrase 'different things of medical science' is awkward; 'different aspects of medical science' is more appropriate. Also, 'COVID. Period' should be combined into 'COVID period'.

× Locked in, most people had to stay at home, but we could treat them because of our knowledge

✓ During lockdown, most people had to stay at home, but we could treat them because of our knowledge

The phrase 'Locked in' is incorrect; the correct prepositional phrase is 'During lockdown'.

× So it's really important to be updated and ordinary people have to learn this science because it's really important in today's life

✓ So it's really important to stay updated and ordinary people have to learn this science because it's really important in today's life

The phrase 'to be updated' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'to stay updated' to indicate maintaining current knowledge.

× Yes, I believe that is really important to learn about them

✓ Yes, I believe it is really important to learn about science

The pronoun 'that' is vague and 'them' is unclear; replacing with 'it' and specifying 'science' clarifies the sentence.

× And sometimes it's had nothing to do

✓ And sometimes it has nothing to do with it

The phrase 'it's had nothing to do' is incorrect; the correct form is 'it has nothing to do with it' to express irrelevance.

× It has nothing to do with their career plans, but they can explore the world around them and it can raise their worries and their concerns

✓ It has nothing to do with their career plans, but they can explore the world around them and it can raise their awareness and concerns

The phrase 'raise their worries and their concerns' is awkward; 'raise their awareness and concerns' is more appropriate in this context.

× When we want to be good citizen, we have to learn about different science because they can help us to

✓ When we want to be good citizens, we have to learn about different sciences because they can help us

The singular 'citizen' should be plural 'citizens' to match 'we'. Also, 'different science' should be plural 'different sciences'. The phrase 'help us to' is incomplete and should be 'help us'.

× Yes, it's really amusing for them. For me, because we can, I can learn a lot about it when there are lots of articles show that when people watch TV programs, it can help us to make long last memories

✓ Yes, it's really amusing for me because I can learn a lot about it. Many articles show that when people watch TV programs, it can help us make long-lasting memories

The phrase 'amusing for them' is incorrect; it should be 'amusing for me'. Also, 'lots of articles show that when people watch TV programs, it can help us to make long last memories' is awkward and corrected for clarity and grammar.

× it can help us to make long last memories

✓ it can help us make long-lasting memories

The phrase 'long last' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'long-lasting' to describe memories.

× So I'm not an exception. I could memorize them and I can learn a lot about different

✓ So I'm not an exception. I can memorize them and learn a lot about different topics

The sentence ends abruptly with 'different'; adding 'topics' completes the thought. Also, 'could memorize' should be 'can memorize' to maintain present tense consistency.