Science— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific supporting details, and correct vocabulary errors (e.g., 'chemics' → 'chemistry', 'climbing' likely unintended). Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Yes — I enjoy studying science at school. This year I’ve focused more on science because it’s my final year at a science-focused school, so we cover many topics. For example, I prefer biology to chemistry because I’m fascinated by how the human body works, whereas chemistry often involves learning formulas.

제안: Answer directly and avoid contradictory phrases. Clarify frequency and give one concrete example of when you use science. Remove repeated words and unnecessary clauses.

예시: Not every day. I mainly use scientific knowledge during laboratory sessions and when I do assignments — for instance, I apply experiments I learned in physics class when preparing lab reports.

제안: Good content and clear motivation; avoid repeating the same phrase. Add a linking word and one specific area within anatomy you find interesting to make the answer more precise.

예시: Yes — I’d like to learn more about anatomy because I want to understand how the body works and why certain diseases occur. For example, I’m especially interested in the nervous system and how it controls movement and sensation.

제안: Reduce hesitation words and repetitive phrases. Provide a clear reason and one concrete benefit or example of how science helps people. Use a linking word to structure the answer.

예시: Yes, I believe everyone should study some science because it helps people make informed decisions about health and the environment. For instance, basic biology and nutrition knowledge can help you understand diet choices and stay healthy.

제안: Reduce fillers (umm, uh) and be more concise. Give one or two specific program names or a clear example of a topic you remember from a show to make your answer more concrete.

예시: Yes, I enjoy watching science documentaries on Netflix and YouTube. For example, I watched a documentary about nutrition that explained how different foods affect digestion and energy levels, which helped me change my eating habits.

× I studied more this year because it's my last year and I studied in a scientific school so we have a lot of science to study.

✓ I have studied more this year because it's my last year and I study at a science school so we have a lot of science to study.

The sentence mixes past simple and present meaning. 'This year' often takes present perfect (have studied) to show an ongoing period. 'I studied in a scientific school' is awkward; use 'I study at a science school' to match the current situation. Use 'study at' not 'studied in' to express current attendance.

× I prefer studying biology more than climbing because I like knowing about how our body works while chemics is more about all formulas.

✓ I prefer studying biology rather than chemistry because I like learning how our body works, while chemistry is more about formulas.

Use 'rather than' for preferences and 'chemistry' is the correct noun, not 'chemics'. 'Knowing about how our body works' is wordy; use 'learning how our body works'. Remove 'all' before 'formulas' as it is unnecessary.

× I then apply scientific knowledge on a daily basis because my current studies don't require it.

✓ I do not apply scientific knowledge on a daily basis because my current studies don't require it.

The original 'I then apply... on a daily basis' contradicts the following clause. Use 'do not apply' to accurately reflect that it is not used daily. Also 'then' is unnecessary. Keep negative form and place 'on a daily basis' after the verb for clarity.

× I mostly use it during specific science science classes and laboratory sessions or what I need to understand scientific concepts for assignments so it's not on a daily basis.

✓ I mostly use it during specific science classes and laboratory sessions, or when I need to understand scientific concepts for assignments, so it's not on a daily basis.

The sentence had repetition ('science science') and a fragment 'or what I need...'. Replace with 'or when I need...' and add commas to separate clauses for clarity and correct sentence structure.

× Yes, I'd like to know more about anatomy because I want to know how body works, why we get certain types of diseases and how we can cure them.

✓ Yes, I'd like to know more about anatomy because I want to know how the body works, why we get certain types of diseases, and how we can treat them.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'body'. Use 'treat' rather than 'cure' for diseases in general contexts. Add commas in a list. These are present-tense facts, so present simple 'works' is correct.

× That's why almost in every high school, uh, there is, uh, the, uh, science as a subject of every high school you go to.

✓ That's why in almost every high school there is science as a subject wherever you go.

Remove unnecessary articles and filler words. 'The science' is incorrect here; use 'science' without 'the'. Reorder 'in almost every high school' for natural word order and replace redundant phrase with 'wherever you go'.

× And it is important because you get to know more about your body, so you get to know more about yourself.

✓ It is important because you learn more about your body, so you learn more about yourself.

Repetition of 'get to know' is informal and repetitive. Use 'learn' for clearer, more appropriate register. Pronouns are acceptable but wording improvement enhances clarity.

× I usually watch umm, documentaries on Netflix or YouTube that talk about how, uh, our body works and uh, mostly the nutritional part to know how, umm, what I can eat, what I cannot eat, how my body reacts to certain types of things.

✓ I usually watch documentaries on Netflix or YouTube that explain how our body works, mostly the nutritional aspects, so I know what I can eat, what I should avoid, and how my body reacts to certain things.

Remove fillers and improve conjunctions and clause connections. 'That talk about how' is fine but 'explain' is stronger. 'Mostly the nutritional part' becomes 'mostly the nutritional aspects'. Use parallel structure in the list 'what I can eat, what I should avoid, and how my body reacts'. 'Certain types of things' is vague; use 'certain things'.