Internet— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains many errors in word choice and grammar. Keep it simple and direct: state the age, give one or two clear examples of what you used the internet for, and use linking words to connect ideas. Limit to 2–3 concise sentences and correct basic grammar (e.g., "I started using the internet when I was about 12").

예시: I started using the internet when I was about 12, while I was in middle school. At first I mainly used it to research school projects and to play simple online games.

제안: Good content and relevant examples, but there are grammatical errors and some redundancy. Use a clear topic sentence then 1–2 supporting details with correct grammar and smoother linking words (e.g., "I’m online almost all the time" then "because" or "mainly for"). Avoid unnecessary phrases like "in this day and night and eight."

예시: I’m online almost all the time because I always carry my smartphone. For example, I check work emails regularly and often scroll through social media in my free moments.

제안: The idea is good (parents restricted internet during exams) but the answer is hard to understand due to many errors and hesitations. Structure the response: state when and why, then briefly describe how it affected you. Remove filler words and correct vocabulary (e.g., "digital detox" is fine but explain).

예시: Yes. During my high school final exams my parents banned internet use for a few weeks so I could focus on studying. Although it was frustrating at first, it helped me concentrate and I did better in my exams.

제안: Clear and honest response with a specific habit mentioned, but grammar and wording need polishing. Use one topic sentence, then a reason and a plan to improve. Avoid repetition like "focus on focus" and use precise phrases such as "set limits" or "use app timers."

예시: Yes, I do. I often waste hours watching short videos, so I’m trying to set limits by using app timers and scheduling more productive activities like reading or exercising.

제안: Well-structured and clear answer with concrete alternatives. To improve further, add a brief specific example and a linking phrase to make it more vivid (e.g., specify a book you’d read or an outdoor activity). Keep it concise.

예시: If the internet disappeared, I would return to traditional hobbies such as reading physical novels and going for long hikes. For instance, I’d finally finish the mystery novel on my shelf and meet friends for weekend walks.

× I first assessed the wave when I was a middle school around the age of 12.

✓ I first accessed the web when I was in middle school, around the age of 12.

The sentence uses incorrect verb choice 'assessed' and omits the preposition 'in' before 'middle school.' 'Assessed' means evaluated; the intended verb is 'accessed' (to use the internet) and the correct phrase is 'in middle school.' Also 'web' is more natural than 'wave.' Use past tense 'accessed' to match 'when I was...'. Suggestion: replace 'assessed' with 'accessed' and add 'in' before 'middle school'.

× Initially a church is watered for a rudimentary task like researching school projects of lay in symbol online games with few quiet revolutionary at that time.

✓ Initially I used it for rudimentary tasks like researching school projects and playing simple online games, which were not very common at that time.

The original sentence is incoherent and contains many incorrect words ('church is watered', 'of lay in symbol', 'quiet revolutionary'). This is a sentence structure and word choice problem. The correction clarifies intent: 'used it for rudimentary tasks' and separates activities with 'and.' It also replaces unclear phrases with 'simple online games' and 'not very common at that time.' Suggestion: keep sentences clear and use natural verbs and nouns; break complex ideas into simpler clauses.

× Practically every hour in this day and night and eight, I'm virtually always connected through my smartphone.

✓ Practically day and night, I'm virtually always connected through my smartphone.

The phrase 'every hour in this day and night and eight' is ungrammatical. The correct expression is 'day and night' for continuous time. Present continuous 'I'm ... connected' is appropriate. Remove extraneous words like 'every hour' and 'eight' unless a specific meaning is intended. Suggestion: use standard time expressions like 'day and night' and keep tense consistent.

× Whether it's for checking work emails or scrolling through social media, the Internet has become an indispensable parts of my daily routine.

✓ Whether it's for checking work emails or scrolling through social media, the Internet has become an indispensable part of my daily routine.

The noun 'parts' does not agree with singular subject 'the Internet' and singular noun 'an indispensable part' is correct. Change 'parts' to 'part' for subject-verb and noun number agreement. Suggestion: match singular/plural forms; use 'part' with 'an'.

× Certainly during my high school finals, my parents restricted my accent the way to answer as stated, uh, focus on my studies is where it forked digital detox.

✓ Certainly, during my high school finals my parents restricted my internet use so I could focus on my studies; it was like a digital detox.

Original sentence is jumbled with incorrect words ('restricted my accent the way to answer as stated', 'is where it forked'). This is a sentence structure and clarity issue. The correction clarifies that parents limited internet use to help focus on studies and uses 'digital detox' appropriately. Suggestion: express the cause and effect clearly and use simple clauses.

× Uh, that's where quiet Brooks brustrated, but uh, UTI ultimately have my great.

✓ At first I was frustrated, but ultimately it helped me a lot.

The original contains non-words and unclear phrases ('quiet Brooks brustrated', 'UTI ultimately have my great'). This is a structure and vocabulary problem. The corrected sentence conveys intended meaning simply: initial frustration followed by eventual benefit. Suggestion: use clear vocabulary and standard phrases; avoid filler sounds when writing.

× To be honest, yes, I often find myself mindlessly scrolling through short videos for hours on end.

✓ To be honest, yes, I often find myself mindlessly scrolling through short videos for hours on end.

This sentence is grammatically correct and appropriately uses the present simple 'I often find' to describe habitual action. No correction needed. Suggestion: none.

× I really need to check some boundaries and reduce my screen time to focus on focus more on productive real life activity.

✓ I really need to set some boundaries and reduce my screen time to focus more on productive real-life activities.

The phrase 'check some boundaries' is incorrect; the idiomatic verb is 'set boundaries.' There is repetition 'focus on focus more on' and missing hyphenation 'real-life' and plural 'activities' for general habits. Use infinitive 'to focus' followed by 'more on' without duplication. Suggestion: use 'set boundaries,' avoid repeated words, hyphenate compounds like 'real-life,' and use plural 'activities' for generalization.

× If the Internet vanished, I'd slightly revert to more traditional hobbies like reading physical books or spending more time outdoors.

✓ If the Internet vanished, I'd probably revert to more traditional hobbies like reading physical books or spending more time outdoors.

The adverb 'slightly' is odd with 'revert'; 'probably' better expresses likelihood. This is a modal/auxiliary nuance: 'I'd' (I would) is correct for hypothetical; change the adverb to one that fits modality. Suggestion: use adverbs that match the modal meaning, e.g., 'probably' for likely hypothetical outcomes.

× I'd definitely have to embrace a much slower pace of life and communicate more in person.

✓ I'd definitely have to embrace a much slower pace of life and communicate more in person.

This sentence is correct: 'embrace' and 'communicate' follow 'have to' appropriately, with 'communicate' as base verb after 'have to.' No correction needed. Suggestion: none.