Internet— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more specific and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating approximate age, then add one or two brief, linked reasons or examples. Avoid fillers like “uh” and correct grammar (e.g. “to complete” not “complete”).

예시: I started using the Internet when I was about ten years old. I mainly used it to chat with friends and play online games, and later I began to use it to complete school assignments.

제안: Give a direct frequency answer (daily/weekly and approximate hours), use correct grammar, and link your routine to reason. Keep it to two sentences maximum.

예시: I go online almost every day, usually for two or three hours in the evening. After I finish my schoolwork, I watch videos to relax and unwind.

제안: Provide a clear, concise description of the event with correct tense and avoid repetition. Use linking words to explain why you followed the rule and what you did instead.

예시: Yes. At a friend’s wedding the couple asked guests to put phones away so everyone could be present. I followed their request and enjoyed the ceremony and conversations without using the Internet.

제안: Answer directly and quantify when possible, correct grammar, and explain consequences or a plan to control it. Use one linking word to connect reason and result.

예시: Yes, I sometimes spend too much time online, especially when watching movies or podcasts for several hours at a stretch. As a result, I lose track of time, so I now set a timer to limit my screen use.

제안: Begin with a direct statement about how you would cope, correct grammar, and give specific examples and a reason. Avoid fillers and keep it to two sentences.

예시: It would be difficult, but I would spend more quality time with my family. For example, we would play indoor games like chess and carrom to relax and strengthen our relationships.

× I mainly use it for chatting with friends, uh, online games for fun and complete my assignments for my school work.

✓ I mainly use it for chatting with friends, playing online games for fun, and completing my assignments for my school work.

Parallel structure requires matching verb forms. The sentence mixes gerunds (chatting) with base verbs (complete) and a noun phrase (online games). Use gerunds for all activities: chatting, playing, and completing. Also add commas and 'and' to join the list clearly.

× Honestly I have done specific time for Internet.

✓ Honestly, I have a specific time for using the Internet.

The original mixes present perfect 'have done' incorrectly with the intended meaning of possession/schedule. Use present simple 'have' with a noun phrase 'a specific time' and include 'for using the Internet' to clarify purpose. Add a comma after 'Honestly'.

× After finish my work I watch videos for entertainment because it helps me to relax.

✓ After finishing my work, I watch videos for entertainment because they help me relax.

After + verb should use gerund 'finishing'. Use a comma after the introductory clause. 'Videos' is plural, so use 'they help' not 'it helps'. Also 'help me relax' is more natural than 'help me to relax'.

× When I attended my friend's wedding party, the couples requested to all the guests to put their mobile phone away so you can enjoy it every moment.

✓ When I attended my friend's wedding party, the couple requested all the guests to put their mobile phones away so they could enjoy every moment.

'Couples' is wrong; use singular 'couple' for the married pair. 'Requested to all the guests' is unidiomatic—use 'requested all the guests'. 'Mobile phone' should be plural 'mobile phones' to agree with 'guests'. 'You can enjoy' mixes perspectives; change to past modal 'they could enjoy' to match the past context.

× So that's why I my I kept my mobile phone away and enjoy every moment.

✓ So that's why I kept my mobile phone away and enjoyed every moment.

Sentence has repetition 'I my I'—remove the extra words. Maintain past tense 'kept' and 'enjoyed' to match the past context. Use 'enjoyed' not present 'enjoy' for consistent tense.

× Yes, I sometimes spend a lot of time on Internet while I watch movie and podcast.

✓ Yes, I sometimes spend a lot of time on the Internet while I watch movies and podcasts.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'Internet'. 'Movie' and 'podcast' should be plural when speaking generally: 'movies and podcasts'. Also maintain consistent plural agreement.

× That time I forget about the time.

✓ At those times I forget about the time.

Original is awkward and repeats 'time'. Use 'At those times' or 'Sometimes' to indicate habitual forgetting. 'Forget' should be present tense 'forget' to match habitual aspect; alternative 'I forgot the time' would suit a specific past occasion.

× Yes, it's really difficult to survive without Internet, but I can spend quality time with my family members to play indoor games like chess, uh, carrom board to build stronger relationship.

✓ Yes, it's really difficult to survive without the Internet, but I can spend quality time with my family playing indoor games like chess and carrom to build stronger relationships.

Add the article 'the' before Internet. Use 'family' without 'members' for natural phrasing. Use parallel gerunds 'playing' and list items with 'and'. 'Carrom board' is usually shortened to 'carrom'. 'Build stronger relationship' needs plural 'relationships' or 'a stronger relationship'—here plural fits better. Remove filler 'uh'.