Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is a bit repetitive and lacks clear structure. Try to start with a direct response, then add specific details using linking words to make your answer more coherent and natural. Avoid filler words like 'like' and unnecessary repetition.

예시: I usually celebrate my birthday by hosting a party with my friends because I enjoy socializing. For example, last year we played games and shared food, which made the day very enjoyable.

제안: Your answer has some grammar mistakes and unclear phrases. Try to use past tense consistently and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. Use linking words to improve flow.

예시: When I was young, I usually went out for dinner with my parents because I didn't have many friends. Also, my parents preferred to keep celebrations simple, so we didn't have parties.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to express your opinion clearly with correct grammar and avoid vague phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

예시: I believe celebrating my birthday is important at my current age because it marks the day I was born. However, I think as we grow older, birthdays may become less significant.

제안: Your answer has some inaccuracies and unclear expressions. Try to provide accurate information and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Avoid unnecessary fillers and ensure correct word choice.

예시: In China, the most important birthday to celebrate is Buddha's birthday because he is a significant religious figure. Many people participate in ceremonies to honor this day.

× An extrovert person and I love to hang out with my friends so usually on my birthday I will always celebrate with my friends like holding a party and it's really fun to like play with my friends on my birthday and like many people celebrate.

✓ I am an extroverted person and I love to hang out with my friends, so usually on my birthday I always celebrate with them by holding a party. It's really fun to play with my friends on my birthday, and many people celebrate together, which makes me happy.

The original sentence is a run-on with multiple ideas joined improperly, causing confusion. It lacks proper subject-verb agreement and clear sentence boundaries. Breaking it into shorter sentences and adding necessary verbs improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× When I'm young I usually go out for dinner with my parents 'cause when I'm young I don't know like what her birthday party is an at that time I don't really have much friends and my parents are not willing to make a birthday party for me, so usually I would just have a simple dinner with them.

✓ When I was young, I usually went out for dinner with my parents because at that time I didn't know what a birthday party was. I didn't have many friends, and my parents were not willing to make a birthday party for me, so I usually just had a simple dinner with them.

The question refers to past events, so past tense should be used consistently. The original sentence incorrectly uses present tense verbs like 'I'm' and 'don't' when referring to the past. Also, 'much friends' is incorrect; 'many friends' is correct for countable nouns.

× I think in my age right now I think is important to celebrate my birthday because it remarks there day that I'm born in deserve.

✓ I think at my age right now, it is important to celebrate my birthday because it marks the day I was born and I deserve to celebrate it.

The original sentence has tense inconsistency and incorrect word usage. 'Remarks' should be 'marks' to indicate the significance of the day. 'There day' is incorrect; it should be 'the day'. Also, 'I'm born in deserve' is ungrammatical; it should be 'I was born and I deserve to celebrate it.'

× But I think in the future when we're older, I don't think birthday really matters 'cause we're or adults and it doesn't really matter.

✓ But I think in the future, when we are older, I don't think birthdays will really matter because we will be adults and it won't really matter.

The original sentence mixes present and future tenses incorrectly. Talking about the future requires future tense forms like 'will be' and 'will matter'. Also, 'we're or adults' is a typo and should be 'we will be adults'.

× Do we even celebrate her birthday?

✓ Do we even celebrate our birthdays?

The pronoun 'her' is incorrect here because the speaker is referring to their own birthday or birthdays in general, so 'our' is the correct possessive pronoun. Also, 'birthday' should be plural if referring generally.

× The most important birthday to celebrate in China is the Buddha's birthday because Buddha is one of the famous like famous statues in China, Anne, everyone celebrates her birthday and it makes it more remarkable.

✓ The most important birthday to celebrate in China is Buddha's birthday because Buddha is one of the most famous figures in China. Everyone celebrates his birthday, which makes it more remarkable.

The phrase 'famous like famous statues' is redundant and unclear; 'most famous figures' is better. 'Anne' seems to be a mishearing or typo and is removed. 'Her birthday' is incorrect because Buddha is male; 'his birthday' is correct. Also, sentence structure is improved for clarity.