Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more natural and concise by avoiding redundancy and grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep your sentences clear and direct. For example, instead of 'I do celebrate' say 'I usually celebrate', and avoid repeating phrases like 'along with me myself'.

예시: I usually celebrate my birthday with close friends and family. I gather them together and cook food for everyone. Sometimes, I organise a party so that everyone can come and enjoy the day with me.

제안: Focus on using past tense consistently and avoid unnecessary repetition. Use linking words to explain your ideas clearly. For example, instead of 'I do remember that I used to', say 'I remember celebrating'. Also, clarify your points with smoother transitions.

예시: When I was young, I remember celebrating my birthday three or four times a year because I followed the lunar calendar. Therefore, my birthday date changed each year, and I usually celebrated with my family and friends.

제안: Try to use more formal vocabulary and avoid contractions like 'gonna'. Also, link your ideas more clearly and avoid vague phrases like 'what I'm going through in the future'. Be specific about your thoughts and feelings.

예시: Yes, I believe it is important to celebrate my birthday because it is a way to appreciate my existence. Moreover, it allows me to reflect on my past experiences and plan for my future goals.

제안: Try to answer the question directly first, then add your personal view. Avoid informal language like 'cause' and use linking words to connect your ideas. Also, be careful with sentence structure to make your answer clearer.

예시: Although I am not very familiar with birthday celebrations in China, I think in my culture, my mother's birthday is the most important. This is because she gave birth to us, and we show our appreciation on that special day.

× But these are very special for me and usually I do celebrate with my close friends and family.

✓ But these are very special for me and usually I celebrate with my close friends and family.

The phrase 'do celebrate' is unnecessary here; the auxiliary 'do' is used for emphasis or negation, but in this positive statement, simple present 'celebrate' is correct.

× I gather them together and make a food for them.

✓ I gather them together and make food for them.

The word 'food' is an uncountable noun here, so 'a' should not be used before it.

× Along with that I sometimes organize a party so that everyone can come and enjoy along with me myself.

✓ Along with that I sometimes organize a party so that everyone can come and enjoy with me.

The phrase 'along with me myself' is redundant and incorrect; 'with me' is sufficient and grammatically correct.

× When I was young, I do remember that I used to celebrate 3-4 times but a year because I do follow a lunar calendar.

✓ When I was young, I remember that I used to celebrate 3-4 times a year because I followed a lunar calendar.

The use of 'do remember' is incorrect in past context; simple past 'remember' fits better. Also, 'do follow' should be past tense 'followed' to match the past time frame.

× That's why my birthday changes every time and I used to celebrate with my family and friends on that day.

✓ That's why my birthday changes every year and I used to celebrate with my family and friends on that day.

The phrase 'every time' is incorrect here; 'every year' is the appropriate expression for birthdays.

× And even celebrating birthday makes me realize what I'm going through in the future and what I'm gonna do in coming days.

✓ And even celebrating my birthday makes me realise what I'm going through now and what I'm going to do in the coming days.

The phrase 'going through in the future' is illogical; 'going through now' fits better. Also, 'gonna' is informal; 'going to' is preferred in formal speech. 'Coming days' needs the article 'the'.

× I don't know much about the birthday celebration in China, but in my culture, my mom's birthday is very special 'cause she's the one who gave birth to us in this world and we appreciate her on that special day.

✓ I don't know much about birthday celebrations in China, but in my culture, my mum's birthday is very special because she's the one who gave birth to us and we appreciate her on that special day.

'Birthday celebration' should be plural 'birthday celebrations' to refer generally. 'Mom' is American English; 'mum' is Australian English. 'Cause' is informal; 'because' is preferred. 'In this world' is unnecessary and can be omitted for clarity.