Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat clear but contains grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to use the present simple tense for habitual actions and avoid repeating phrases like 'we love to'. Also, use linking words to make your answer more coherent and natural.

예시: On my birthday, I usually spend time with my family and friends. In the evening, we go out for a dinner party and cut a cake together. We also enjoy playing music to celebrate.

제안: Your answer provides relevant details but has grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Use past tense consistently and add linking words to improve flow. Also, be more specific about the activities.

예시: When I was young, I used to bring candies for my friends and schoolmates. In the evening, we always cut a cake with my parents and relatives. After that, we went to a temple to offer prayers.

제안: Your answer expresses your opinion but has repetition and awkward word choices like 'joy joyness' and 'complete milestone'. Try to use clearer vocabulary and avoid repeating words. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting reasons.

예시: Yes, I believe celebrating birthdays is important because it brings happiness and marks an important milestone in a person's life. It is a special occasion to reflect and enjoy with loved ones.

제안: Your answer is honest but lacks direct response and contains grammatical errors. Try to answer the question more directly, even if you don't know, and use correct grammar. For example, you can mention a common important birthday in China or express your willingness to learn more.

예시: I am not very familiar with birthdays celebrated in China since I was born and raised in India. However, I know that the Chinese New Year is a very important celebration there.

× On my birthday, I tried to spend time with my family and friend and then followed by I tried to go outside for a dinner party in the evening and we tried to cut the cake.

✓ On my birthday, I try to spend time with my family and friends and then I try to go outside for a dinner party in the evening and we try to cut the cake.

The question asks about usual activities, so the present tense should be used instead of past tense. Also, 'friend' should be plural 'friends' to match the context of spending time with more than one person.

× On my birthday, I tried to spend time with my family and friend and then followed by I tried to go outside for a dinner party in the evening and we tried to cut the cake.

✓ On my birthday, I try to spend time with my family and friends and then I try to go outside for a dinner party in the evening and we try to cut the cake.

The word 'friend' should be plural 'friends' because it is more natural to spend time with multiple friends on a birthday.

× On my birthday, I tried to spend time with my family and friend and then followed by I tried to go outside for a dinner party in the evening and we tried to cut the cake.

✓ On my birthday, I try to spend time with my family and friends, and then I go outside for a dinner party in the evening, and we cut the cake.

The phrase 'followed by I tried to go' is awkward and incorrect. It should be restructured to 'and then I go' to improve sentence flow and clarity.

× And we love to, we love to play a music.

✓ And we love to, we love to play music.

The word 'music' is an uncountable noun and does not require the definite article 'a' before it.

× When I was a young I, I bring candies for my friends and for my schoolmates as well as in the evening.

✓ When I was young, I brought candies for my friends and my schoolmates in the evening.

The phrase 'was a young' is incorrect; it should be 'was young'. The verb 'bring' should be in past tense 'brought' to match the past time frame. Also, 'as well as' is unnecessary and awkward here.

× When I was a young I, I bring candies for my friends and for my schoolmates as well as in the evening.

✓ When I was young, I brought candies for my friends and my schoolmates in the evening.

The phrase 'for my friends and for my schoolmates' is correct but can be simplified to 'for my friends and my schoolmates' for better flow.

× So after that we go to a temple for the prayers.

✓ So after that, we go to a temple to pray.

The phrase 'for the prayers' is awkward; 'to pray' is a more natural expression in this context.

× Yes, I think it is very important to celebrate a birthday because it will give the joy joyness to a person as well as whenever they they celebrate birthday, they feel like they have a complete milestone.

✓ Yes, I think it is very important to celebrate a birthday because it will give joy to a person, and whenever they celebrate their birthday, they feel like they have reached an important milestone.

The phrase 'the joy joyness' is incorrect; 'joy' is sufficient. Also, 'celebrate birthday' needs the possessive pronoun 'their' before 'birthday'. 'Complete milestone' is awkward; 'important milestone' is more natural.

× Yes, I think it is very important to celebrate a birthday because it will give the joy joyness to a person as well as whenever they they celebrate birthday, they feel like they have a complete milestone.

✓ Yes, I think it is very important to celebrate a birthday because it will give joy to a person, and whenever they celebrate their birthday, they feel like they have reached an important milestone.

The pronoun 'they' is repeated unnecessarily and 'birthday' needs a possessive pronoun 'their' to be grammatically correct.

× So definitely it's a good and important to celebrate.

✓ So definitely, it's good and important to celebrate.

The article 'a' before 'good and important' is incorrect because these are adjectives describing the act of celebrating, not a noun.

× Well I don't have any idea about China because I born and brought up in India so if I get chance to go China then definitely I will search it on Google like who's birthday celebrate in China is important.

✓ Well, I don't have any idea about China because I was born and brought up in India. So if I get a chance to go to China, then definitely I will search on Google whose birthday is important to celebrate in China.

The sentence has multiple errors: 'I born' should be 'I was born'; 'get chance' should be 'get a chance'; 'go China' should be 'go to China'; 'search it on Google like' is awkward and should be 'search on Google whose birthday is important to celebrate in China.' Also, the sentence should be split for clarity.