Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat long and contains some grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to make your response more concise and clear by using simpler sentence structures and avoiding repetition. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, instead of 'go to Gurdwara's time', say 'go to the Gurdwara'.

예시: On my birthday, I usually keep things simple. In the morning, I wake up early and go to the Gurdwara with my family to pay respects. After that, we distribute sweets to others to celebrate the occasion.

제안: Your answer addresses the question but has some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Try to use past tense consistently and improve sentence flow by using linking words like 'because' and 'so'. Also, avoid redundancy such as 'everyone wish me' which should be 'everyone wished me'.

예시: When I was young, I was very excited about my birthday because I was allowed to wear informal clothes at school, which made me feel special. Also, I enjoyed distributing chocolates and sweets to my classmates, and everyone wished me, which made me very happy.

제안: Your answer is understandable but contains grammatical errors and unclear phrases like 'I only just go to gurdwara since there'. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words such as 'because' and 'so' to connect your thoughts. Also, avoid using words like 'indispensable' incorrectly; 'important' or 'special' would be better.

예시: No, I don't think it is very important to celebrate my birthday now. When I was a child, I was very excited, but now it feels like a normal day. I usually just go to the Gurdwara, but I am not very enthusiastic about the day anymore.

제안: Your answer is relevant but has some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, say 'the Prime Minister of China' instead of 'the Prime Minister of the China'. Also, avoid using 'indispensable' incorrectly; 'important' or 'significant' would be better. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to improve coherence.

예시: That's an interesting question. In my opinion, the most important birthday to celebrate in China is that of the Prime Minister because he or she is the country's leader and plays a vital role in protecting and serving the nation. Therefore, celebrating their birthday shows respect and creates a good impression.

× Well, I usually keep my birthday so simple as in the morning I get up early and go to Gurdwara's time in order to pay obeisance there with my families and we also distribute sweets and kadapa shot over there in order in in the occasion of my birthday.

✓ Well, I usually keep my birthday so simple; in the morning, I get up early and go to the Gurdwara to pay obeisance there with my family, and we also distribute sweets and kadapa shots there on the occasion of my birthday.

The phrase 'go to Gurdwara's time' is incorrect; it should be 'go to the Gurdwara' as 'Gurdwara' is a place and requires the definite article 'the'. Also, 'with my families' should be 'with my family' as 'family' is a collective noun here. The phrase 'in order in in the occasion' is incorrect; it should be 'on the occasion'. Prepositions 'to' and 'on' are used correctly with 'go' and 'occasion' respectively.

× When I was young, I was quite excited for my birthday because I have permission for that day to wear informal clothes in my schools, so I feel special on that day.

✓ When I was young, I was quite excited for my birthday because I had permission for that day to wear informal clothes in my school, so I felt special on that day.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. Since the context is past ('When I was young'), verbs should be in past tense: 'have' should be 'had', 'feel' should be 'felt'. Also, 'schools' should be singular 'school' if referring to one school.

× Moreover, I like to distribute chocolates and sweets to my classmates and everyone wish me on my birthday and I feel very delighted over.

✓ Moreover, I liked to distribute chocolates and sweets to my classmates, and everyone wished me on my birthday, and I felt very delighted.

The verb 'wish' should be 'wished' to agree with past tense context. The phrase 'delighted over' is incorrect; 'delighted' does not require 'over'. Also, 'like' should be 'liked' to maintain past tense consistency.

× No, not really. When I was a kid I was so excited for my birthday, but nowadays the charm has gone away because I think it is a normal day and I only just go to gurdwara since there.

✓ No, not really. When I was a kid, I was so excited for my birthday, but nowadays the charm has gone away because I think it is a normal day and I only just go to the Gurdwara then.

The word 'gurdwara' should be capitalized and preceded by the definite article 'the' as it is a specific place. The phrase 'since there' is incorrect; 'then' is more appropriate to indicate time. Also, a comma is needed after 'kid' for correct sentence structure.

× But I am not quite excited for the day and I don't think it is a indispensable day for me.

✓ But I am not quite excited for the day, and I don't think it is an indispensable day for me.

The article 'a' before a word starting with a vowel sound like 'indispensable' should be 'an'. Also, a comma is needed before 'and' to separate independent clauses.

× That's an interesting question. In my perspective, I think that the birthday celebration of the Prime Minister of the China is quite indispensable because as he or she is the leader of the country and plays an essential role in protecting and serving the country.

✓ That's an interesting question. From my perspective, I think that the birthday celebration of the Prime Minister of China is quite indispensable because he or she is the leader of the country and plays an essential role in protecting and serving the country.

The phrase 'In my perspective' should be 'From my perspective'. The definite article 'the' before 'China' is incorrect; country names generally do not take 'the' unless plural or descriptive. Also, 'as he or she is' is better as 'because he or she is' for clarity.

× So I think it may leads a good impression and respect.

✓ So I think it may lead to a good impression and respect.

The modal verb 'may' should be followed by the base form of the verb without 's', so 'leads' should be 'lead'. Also, 'lead to' is the correct phrase, and 'a good impression and respect' is clearer with 'to' after 'lead'.