Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to avoid incomplete sentences and redundancy. Make your answer more natural by combining ideas smoothly and using linking words. Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences and provide a bit more detail about the party.

예시: On my birthday, I usually hold a party with my friends because it's a fun way to celebrate together. We enjoy music, food, and games, which makes the day special and memorable.

제안: Pay attention to verb tenses and plural forms to make your answer grammatically correct. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific details to enrich your answer.

예시: When I was young, I usually spent my birthday with my classmates, close friends, or family. We would eat together and hang out, which created many happy memories for me.

제안: Be careful with word choice to avoid confusion (e.g., 'breasts' instead of 'birthdays'). Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide clear reasons why celebrating birthdays is important to you.

예시: Yes, I think celebrating birthdays is very important because we only have one each year. It is a special time to spend with friends, family, and loved ones, which strengthens our relationships.

제안: Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid hesitation sounds like 'uh'. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and provide specific reasons why your mom's birthday is important.

예시: I think my mom's birthday is the most important to celebrate in China because she works hard to support and take care of our family. Therefore, I like to organise a big party to show how much we love and appreciate her.

× On my birthday I usually like to hold a party with my friends. It is quite fun and we celebrate together and. Just enjoy the time.

✓ On my birthday, I usually like to hold a party with my friends. It is quite fun, and we celebrate together, just enjoying the time.

The original sentence has a sentence fragment 'Just enjoy the time' and an unnecessary conjunction 'and' at the end of the previous sentence. Combining these properly into one sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× When I was young, I usually spend my birthday with my classmates or close friends or my families.

✓ When I was young, I usually spent my birthday with my classmates, close friends, or my family.

The verb 'spend' should be in the past tense 'spent' to match the past time frame indicated by 'When I was young'. Also, 'families' is incorrect here; 'family' is the correct singular collective noun.

× I think it is a good memories these birthdays.

✓ I think these birthdays are good memories.

'Memories' is plural, so 'a good memories' is incorrect. Also, the sentence structure is awkward; rephrasing to 'these birthdays are good memories' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× I value my breasts very much because we only have one birthday each year and it is a very good time to spend time with my friends and families and anyone you love.

✓ I value my birthday very much because we only have one birthday each year, and it is a very good time to spend with my friends, family, and anyone you love.

The word 'breasts' is incorrect and likely a mispronunciation or typo for 'birthday'. Also, 'families' should be 'family' as a collective noun. The sentence is corrected for clarity and proper pronoun and noun usage.

× I think it's my mom's birthday because I love my mom so much and it's really very hard to support the family to take care of the families.

✓ I think it's my mom's birthday because I love my mom so much, and it's really very hard to support the family and take care of them.

The phrase 'take care of the families' is incorrect; 'families' should be 'them' referring to the family. Also, the sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× So on her birthday, I'd like to hold a very big party for her and, uh, sure how we love her and care about her.

✓ So on her birthday, I'd like to hold a very big party for her to show how much we love and care about her.

The original sentence is incomplete and awkward. Rephrasing it to include 'to show how much we love and care about her' completes the thought and improves sentence structure.