Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear but can be more natural and concise. Avoid filler words like 'umm' and use singular 'family' instead of 'families'. Also, try to add a linking word to connect your ideas smoothly.

예시: Usually, I celebrate my birthday with my family by sharing a birthday cake and having dinner together.

제안: Your answer is incomplete and contains many hesitations. Try to avoid repeating words and filler sounds. Complete your sentences and use linking words to explain your ideas clearly.

예시: When I was a child, my parents took me to Disneyland to celebrate my birthday because we rarely visited theme parks, so it was a special treat.

제안: Your answer is relevant but can be improved by correcting grammar and avoiding repetition. Use linking words to make your explanation clearer and more natural.

예시: Yes, I believe it is important to celebrate my birthday because it marks growing up and turning a new page to the next stage of my life.

제안: Your answer is too brief and unclear. Avoid filler words and provide more specific details or reasons to support your opinion. Also, clarify who you mean by 'the leader'.

예시: In China, many people consider the birthdays of important leaders, such as the President, to be significant occasions to celebrate.

× Generally, I will celebrate my birthday with my families.

✓ Generally, I will celebrate my birthday with my family.

The word 'families' is plural, but in this context, the speaker likely means their own family, which is singular. 'Family' is a collective noun referring to the group of relatives. Using 'families' implies multiple separate family groups, which is incorrect here.

× Generally, I will celebrate my birthday with my families.

✓ Generally, I celebrate my birthday with my family.

Using 'will' to express habitual actions is incorrect. For regular habits, the simple present tense is used. Therefore, 'I celebrate' is more appropriate than 'I will celebrate'.

× I will, umm, share my birthday cake with them and we will also have a dinner together.

✓ I share my birthday cake with them and we also have dinner together.

Similar to the previous sentence, 'will' is not used for habitual actions. The simple present tense is preferred to describe regular events.

× we will also have a dinner together.

✓ we will also have dinner together.

The word 'dinner' is an uncountable noun when referring to the meal in general, so the article 'a' is unnecessary here.

× my parents brought me to Disneyland to celebrate my birthday.

✓ my parents took me to Disneyland to celebrate my birthday.

The verb 'bring' is used when the action is towards the speaker's current location. Since the parents took the child to Disneyland (away from the speaker's current location), 'took' is the correct past tense verb.

× Umm, since, uh, we didn't, we didn't visit there, uh, regularly.

✓ Umm, since we didn't visit there regularly.

The sentence has unnecessary repetition of 'we didn't' which makes it awkward. Removing the repeated phrase improves clarity and sentence structure.

× So, umm, so visiting the theme park is, uh, was.

✓ So, visiting the theme park was special.

The original sentence is incomplete and confusing. Adding a complement like 'special' and choosing the correct past tense 'was' clarifies the meaning.

× Yes, it is essential to celebrate my birthday because I think birthday represents growing up turning a new page to to the next stage of my life.

✓ Yes, it is essential to celebrate my birthday because I think a birthday represents growing up and turning a new page to the next stage of my life.

The sentence lacks articles and conjunctions. Adding 'a' before 'birthday' and 'and' between 'growing up' and 'turning' improves grammatical correctness and clarity. Also, removing the repeated 'to' fixes the error.

× It is important to celebrate UMM, the leader of our country.

✓ It is important to celebrate the leader of our country.

The interjection 'UMM' is unnecessary and inappropriate in formal speech. Removing it improves the sentence's clarity and formality.