Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant but can be more natural and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep it concise within 5 sentences.

예시: On my birthday, I usually visit the Tirupati temple to seek blessings from Balaji. This tradition makes my birthday special and different from other days. After the visit, I spend time with my family, which I really enjoy.

제안: Your answer needs clearer structure and more specific details. Begin with a direct response, then use linking words to add details. Also, correct grammar and avoid repetition for better clarity.

예시: When I was young, I celebrated my birthday with all the neighbors and children in my locality. It was a typical 90s style celebration with games and sweets, which made it very enjoyable.

제안: Your answer is somewhat unclear and incomplete. Provide a clear topic sentence, explain your opinion with reasons, and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid incomplete sentences and be concise.

예시: I don't think celebrating birthdays is very important because it feels like just another day when people give wishes. However, I used to enjoy my birthdays during childhood because of the fun and gifts.

제안: Your answer lacks clarity and coherence. Try to directly answer the question first, then add supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and incomplete phrases for better understanding.

예시: I am not very familiar with birthday celebrations in China. However, I believe that celebrating the birthdays of important leaders is common, and generally, people celebrate birthdays of their loved ones.

× When I was young we celebrated with all the neighbor, all the neighbors and the young children and my locality.

✓ When I was young we celebrated with all the neighbors and the young children in my locality.

The word 'neighbor' should be plural 'neighbors' to correctly refer to multiple people. Also, 'and my locality' is unclear; it is better to say 'in my locality' to indicate the area where the celebration took place.

× No, I don't think it is important to celebrate our birthday as it feels there is no meaning in it.

✓ No, I don't think it is important to celebrate our birthdays as it feels like there is no meaning in it.

The word 'birthday' should be plural 'birthdays' to refer generally. Also, 'feels there is no meaning' is incomplete; adding 'like' makes the sentence clearer and grammatically correct.

× It's just a typical day as we get wishes from others But in my childhood I enjoyed my birthday but.

✓ It's just a typical day as we get wishes from others, but in my childhood I enjoyed my birthday.

The sentence is incomplete and has punctuation errors. Adding a comma before 'but' and removing the extra 'but' at the end corrects the sentence structure.

× I'm not familiar with the events and celebrations happening in China as I'm a Indian, but I think it is important to celebrate the the leaders and the in general everyone who likes to have it.

✓ I'm not familiar with the events and celebrations happening in China as I'm an Indian, but I think it is important to celebrate the leaders and, in general, everyone who likes to have it.

The article 'a' before 'Indian' should be 'an' because 'Indian' starts with a vowel sound. Also, the repeated 'the the' is an error and should be corrected to a single 'the'. The phrase 'and the in general everyone' is incorrect; it should be 'and, in general, everyone' with commas to separate the phrase.