Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer has some repetition and lacks clarity. Try to make your sentences more concise and avoid repeating words. Also, organise your ideas logically and use linking words to connect your points smoothly.

예시: When I was a child, my parents used to throw grand birthday parties at home, inviting friends and family. I also celebrated at school by distributing chocolates. However, now I prefer to keep my birthday celebrations simple.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Focus on forming complete sentences and clearly expressing your ideas. Use linking words to explain changes over time.

예시: When I was a teenager, I used to celebrate my birthday with great excitement and enthusiasm because I was surrounded by friends and had more free time. However, as I have grown older, my schedule has become busier, so I celebrate less.

제안: Your answer has some unclear phrases and incomplete ideas. Try to express your thoughts clearly and use linking words to connect your reasons. Avoid filler words like 'uh'.

예시: I believe it is important to celebrate birthdays because they remind us to take a break from our busy lives and enjoy special moments. It is also a time to be thankful for another year of life.

제안: Your answer is incomplete and has grammatical mistakes. Provide clear and complete sentences with specific details. Use linking words to explain your points logically.

예시: In China, I believe the president's birthday is celebrated on a large scale. There are nationwide holidays and sometimes charitable events like free food distribution to mark the occasion.

× I used to throw part my parents used to throw a party at our home inviting all our friends and families and also in the school.

✓ My parents used to throw a party at our home inviting all our friends and family, and also at school.

The word 'part' is incorrect and should be 'party'. 'Families' should be 'family' when referring collectively. Also, 'in the school' should be 'at school' to indicate location correctly.

× I used to celebrate by distributing chocolates but now I don't.

✓ I used to celebrate by distributing chocolates, but now I don't.

A comma is needed before 'but' to separate the two independent clauses properly.

× During my teenager life, I used to celebrate it with you very much excitement and enthusiasm as as there was surrounded by a friend which used to we were free, but now as time pass, we are very our schedules has become very.

✓ During my teenage years, I used to celebrate it with much excitement and enthusiasm as I was surrounded by friends and we were free, but now as time passes, our schedules have become very busy.

'Teenager life' should be 'teenage years' to refer to that period. 'You very much excitement' is incorrect; it should be 'much excitement'. 'There was surrounded by a friend' is incorrect; it should be 'I was surrounded by friends'. 'Which used to we were free' is incorrect and replaced with 'and we were free'. 'As time pass' should be 'as time passes'. 'We are very our schedules has become very' is incorrect; corrected to 'our schedules have become very busy'.

× I think it's quite important to celebrate our birthdays because it's the day we can make.

✓ I think it's quite important to celebrate our birthdays because it's a day we can make special.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'a day we can make special' completes the thought and corrects the structure.

× We should take out time from our headache day to some time for enjoyment and celebrate that we are heading towards another, uh, year and we should have been thankful to God that we got a child.

✓ We should take out time from our busy day to enjoy and celebrate that we are heading towards another year, and we should be thankful to God that we are alive.

'Headache day' is incorrect; 'busy day' is appropriate. 'Some time for enjoyment' is rephrased for clarity. 'Have been thankful' should be 'be thankful'. 'Got a child' is incorrect; 'are alive' fits the context better.

× In China, according to my knowledge, I think the president birthday is celebrated in a very the in a very huge.

✓ In China, according to my knowledge, I think the president's birthday is celebrated in a very big way.

'President birthday' should be 'president's birthday' to show possession. 'In a very the in a very huge' is incorrect and replaced with 'in a very big way' for clarity.

× They will be a huge celebration. Like they will be holiday fashion around the China and also free distribution of food in charitable or.

✓ There will be a huge celebration, like a holiday throughout China, and also free distribution of food in charitable organizations.

'They will be' is incorrect; 'There will be' is correct. 'Holiday fashion around the China' is incorrect; 'a holiday throughout China' is appropriate. 'In charitable or' is incomplete; 'in charitable organizations' completes the thought.