Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer needs to be more natural and grammatically correct. Use simple past tense correctly and avoid unclear phrases like 'take blazing'. Also, try to provide clear reasons and link your ideas logically.

예시: On my birthday, I usually start my day by visiting a temple because I believe it brings me happiness. After that, my parents give me blessings, which boost my confidence.

제안: Try to use correct verb tenses and avoid incomplete sentences. Make your answer clearer by linking ideas properly and explaining your feelings or reasons in detail.

예시: As far as I remember, when I was young, I really looked forward to my birthday because it was the only day we were allowed to wear casual clothes at school. I was excited to wear my favourite dress on that day.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Avoid using informal contractions like 'Cause' at the start. Organize your ideas logically and explain reasons clearly. Avoid irrelevant points like 'it is also weather too'.

예시: I think it is important for everyone to celebrate their birthday because it is a special and meaningful day that marks another year of life. I prefer to celebrate my birthday with my family and friends to share happiness.

제안: Your answer lacks clarity and contains grammatical mistakes. Be confident in your response and provide specific information. Use correct sentence structures and avoid incomplete sentences.

예시: I am not sure about any specific person, but in China, everyone celebrates birthdays with their friends or relatives. Mostly, children enjoy celebrating their birthdays with their friends.

× On my birthday, I usually started my day with the going at a temple because I think it is the happiest day of my life.

✓ On my birthday, I usually start my day by going to a temple because I think it is the happiest day of my life.

The sentence uses 'usually started' which is past tense, but 'usually' indicates a habitual action, so present tense 'start' should be used. Also, 'the going at a temple' is incorrect; it should be 'going to a temple' to express the activity properly.

× On my birthday, I usually started my day with the going at a temple because I think it is the happiest day of my life.

✓ On my birthday, I usually start my day by going to a temple because I think it is the happiest day of my life.

The phrase 'with the going at a temple' is incorrect. The correct form is 'by going to a temple' where 'going' is the gerund form used after the preposition 'by' to indicate the activity.

× Then I take blazing from my parents on my every birthday that give me a confidence.

✓ Then I take blessings from my parents on every birthday that gives me confidence.

The verb 'take' is correct in present tense for habitual action. 'Blazing' is a wrong word; the correct word is 'blessings'. Also, 'that give me a confidence' should be 'that gives me confidence' because 'that' refers to 'every birthday' (singular), so verb should be singular 'gives', and 'confidence' is uncountable, so no article 'a' is needed.

× As far as I remember, when I was young, I really wait for my birthday because in my view, but it was the only that day we were allowed to wear casual dresses at the school.

✓ As far as I remember, when I was young, I really waited for my birthday because, in my view, it was the only day we were allowed to wear casual dresses at school.

The verb 'wait' should be in past tense 'waited' to match 'when I was young'. The phrase 'but it was the only that day' is incorrect; it should be 'it was the only day'. Also, 'at the school' is better as 'at school' when referring to school in general.

× That's why I waited for my favorite dress.

✓ That's why I waited for my favorite dress.

This sentence is correct in past tense and needs no correction.

× 'Cause I think it is important for me, not only me but all the people in the world to celebrate their birthday because I think it is the special, full and meaningful day in the life and that is the counting of age.

✓ Because I think it is important not only for me but for all the people in the world to celebrate their birthday, as I believe it is a special, full, and meaningful day in life that marks the counting of age.

The sentence starts with informal ''Cause' which should be 'Because'. The phrase 'not only me but all the people' needs 'for' before both objects for parallelism. 'the special, full and meaningful day in the life' should be 'a special, full, and meaningful day in life' as it is a general statement. 'and that is the counting of age' is better expressed as 'that marks the counting of age' for clarity.

× I give priority to celebrate my birthday with my family as well as my friends.

✓ I give priority to celebrating my birthday with my family as well as my friends.

After 'give priority to', the verb should be in gerund form 'celebrating' not the base form 'celebrate'.

× Secondly, it is also weather too.

✓ Secondly, the weather is also important.

The original sentence 'it is also weather too' is unclear and incorrect. Likely, the speaker meant to say that weather is also important. So, 'the weather is also important' is the correct form.

× Well, I don't sure about any particular person, but in my view everybody celebrated on China with their friends or relatives and I think the mostly children celebrate their body with their friends in.

✓ Well, I am not sure about any particular person, but in my view, everybody in China celebrates with their friends or relatives, and I think mostly children celebrate their birthday with their friends.

'I don't sure' is incorrect; it should be 'I am not sure'. 'celebrated on China' should be 'celebrates in China'. 'the mostly children' should be 'mostly children'. 'celebrate their body' is a mistake; it should be 'celebrate their birthday'. The preposition 'in' at the end is unnecessary and incorrect.