Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and vary your sentence structures to sound more natural. For example, instead of repeating 'we cut a cake' and 'having dinner' twice, combine these ideas logically.

예시: On my birthday, I usually spend time with my friends by going out and having a party where we eat cake and snacks. In the evening, I celebrate with my family by cutting another cake and having dinner together.

제안: Your answer is clear but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words to enhance coherence. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'basically' and 'it's basically a fun'. Instead, describe the experience more vividly and logically.

예시: When I was young, I was very excited about my birthday. In our culture, we usually gather with family and friends to cut a cake and enjoy dinner together, which made the celebration very enjoyable.

제안: Focus on clarity and grammar to express your ideas more effectively. Avoid filler words like 'like' and correct phrases such as 'it give it's a membrane' to something clearer. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

예시: Yes, I believe celebrating birthdays is important because they create lasting memories. As we grow older, reflecting on past birthdays brings happiness and reminds us of special moments.

제안: Try to answer the question directly even if you are unsure. You can mention your lack of knowledge politely and then relate it to your own culture. Also, avoid filler words and improve sentence structure for clarity.

예시: I'm not very familiar with whose birthdays are most important to celebrate in China. However, in India, we honor the birthdays of national heroes like Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev, and Rajguru, who played key roles in our independence movement.

× I usually spend time with my friends, I go out with them and have some party, we eat cake, then we have some snacks.

✓ I usually spend time with my friends. I go out with them and have a party. We eat cake, then we have some snacks.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence with multiple independent clauses joined incorrectly by commas. It should be separated into individual sentences or connected properly with conjunctions to improve clarity and grammatical correctness.

× After that in the evening I spend time with my family, we cut a cake and again having dinner with our friends or family members.

✓ After that, in the evening, I spend time with my family. We cut a cake and again have dinner with our friends or family members.

The phrase 'again having dinner' is incorrect because 'having' is a present participle without an auxiliary verb. It should be 'again have dinner' to maintain parallel structure and correct verb form.

× So in our culture, we basically do a gathering with our family and friends and we have a cake cutting ceremony and then we had our dinner.

✓ So in our culture, we basically have a gathering with our family and friends, and we have a cake-cutting ceremony, and then we have our dinner.

The sentence mixes present tense ('do a gathering', 'have a cake cutting ceremony') with past tense ('had our dinner'). To maintain consistency, all actions should be in the present tense as the question asks about habitual actions when young.

× So it's basically a fun.

✓ So it's basically fun.

The phrase 'a fun' is incorrect because 'fun' is an uncountable noun and does not take an indefinite article 'a'. The article should be removed.

× Yeah, I think it's important to celebrate our birthdays like it give it's a membrane in our old age.

✓ Yeah, I think it's important to celebrate our birthdays because it gives us memories in our old age.

The original sentence has incorrect verb form 'give' instead of 'gives' and uses 'membrane' incorrectly instead of 'memories'. Also, 'like' is used incorrectly as a conjunction; 'because' is more appropriate here.

× Like when we're getting old, we like think about our past birthdays and it really makes us like happy when we think of the past.

✓ When we get old, we think about our past birthdays, and it really makes us happy when we think of the past.

The phrase 'we're getting old' is present continuous but should be simple present 'we get old' for general truth. Also, 'we like think' is incorrect; 'we think' is correct. The extra 'like' before 'happy' is unnecessary and should be removed.

× So I'm from India, I basically don't know like who's but it's important in China.

✓ So I'm from India. I basically don't know whose birthdays are important in China, but I know it's important there.

The phrase 'don't know like who's' is unclear and grammatically incorrect. 'Who's' is a contraction of 'who is' and does not fit here. The correct possessive pronoun 'whose' should be used to refer to birthdays.

× But in India we celebrate a birthday of our like madam's like a Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev and Rajguru who helped us getting freedom from pictures.

✓ But in India, we celebrate the birthdays of our heroes like Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev, and Rajguru, who helped us gain freedom from the British.

The original sentence has several issues: 'a birthday of our like madam's like a' is confusing and incorrect. 'Getting freedom from pictures' is incorrect; it should be 'gain freedom from the British'. Also, 'madam's' is inappropriate here. The sentence needs restructuring for clarity and correctness.