Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more structured and clear. Start with a direct response, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid filler words like 'umm' and incomplete sentences. For example, mention what you do, who you celebrate with, and why you enjoy it.

예시: On my birthday, I usually have a big meal with my best friends. We eat a fruit birthday cake and take many beautiful pictures. I really enjoy this day because it allows me to celebrate with people I care about.

제안: Provide a clear and complete answer with proper sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid filler words. Explain your reasons clearly and avoid vague expressions like 'exercise it'.

예시: When I was young, I didn't celebrate my birthday because my parents did not pay much attention to it. Therefore, I did not have any special activities or parties on that day.

제안: Make your answer more coherent and clear by using linking words and avoiding filler words. Explain your ideas with specific reasons and examples. Avoid unclear phrases like 'just looking bad'.

예시: Yes, I think it is important to celebrate my birthday because it marks my growth and changes over the year. It gives me a chance to reflect on my achievements and set new goals for the future.

제안: Answer the question directly and clearly. Use proper grammar and sentence structure. Explain your opinion with reasons and avoid confusing or incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

예시: In China, I believe that everyone's birthday is important, but I think my own birthday is the most special to me. This is because I want to focus on taking care of myself and celebrating my life, as we only live once.

× When I mean my birthday I will umm have a big meal with my best friends, it fruit birthday cake and take so many beautiful pictures.

✓ When I mean my birthday, I usually have a big meal with my best friends, eat fruit birthday cake, and take so many beautiful pictures.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'will' to describe a habitual action. 'Will' is for future events, but here the student is talking about usual activities on their birthday, so the present simple tense 'usually have' is appropriate. Also, 'it fruit birthday cake' is incorrect; it should be 'eat fruit birthday cake' to indicate the action of eating.

× I really enjoy UMM birthday because it's a it's a day.

✓ I really enjoy my birthday because it's a special day.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'UMM birthday' is unclear and 'it's a it's a day' is repetitive and lacks meaning. The correction clarifies the sentence by specifying 'my birthday' and adding 'special' to describe the day, making the sentence complete and meaningful.

× Uh, to be honest, when I was young, I didn't uh, celebrate my birthday, umm, because my parents, they didn't umm, care about it.

✓ Uh, to be honest, when I was young, I didn't celebrate my birthday because my parents didn't care about it.

The original sentence has unnecessary repetition with 'they' after 'my parents' and filler words 'uh' and 'umm'. Removing these improves clarity. The past tense 'didn't celebrate' and 'didn't care' are correctly used here.

× And uh, I also don't exercise it.

✓ And I also didn't celebrate it.

The phrase 'don't exercise it' is incorrect and unclear. The student likely meant 'didn't celebrate it'. Since the context is about past events, the past tense 'didn't celebrate' is appropriate instead of present tense 'don't'.

× Yes uh, now I feel it's really important because it's like to celebrate your birth, your growth, your umm change.

✓ Yes, now I feel it's really important because it's like celebrating your birth, your growth, and your change.

The phrase 'it's like to celebrate' is incorrect; after 'like' we use the gerund form 'celebrating'. Also, adding commas improves readability.

× You know umm, a year can change a lot.

✓ You know, a year can change a lot.

Removing filler 'umm' and adding a comma after 'You know' improves sentence clarity and flow.

× It's like to have a conversation with yourself just looking bad.

✓ It's like having a conversation with yourself, just looking back.

The phrase 'like to have' should be 'like having' to use the gerund after 'like'. 'Just looking bad' is likely a mishearing or mispronunciation of 'just looking back', which makes sense in context.

× It will realized.

✓ You will realise it.

'It will realized' is incorrect; the correct form is 'You will realise it.' The verb 'realise' needs to be in base form after 'will', and the subject should be 'you' to make sense.

× I think my birthday is the best way to celebrate.

✓ I think my birthday is the best occasion to celebrate.

'Birthday' is a singular event, but 'best way to celebrate' is awkward here. 'Best occasion to celebrate' fits better. Alternatively, 'best way' could be used with 'celebrating birthdays' in plural.

× I just want to say why others is the best way.

✓ I just want to say why others are the best way.

'Others' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. However, the sentence is unclear; likely the student meant 'why others are better ways' or 'why others are the best way'.

× I couldn't take care of my leads 1st and otherwise life only live once why I couldn't care myself so.

✓ I couldn't take care of myself first, and since life is only lived once, why couldn't I care for myself?

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. The correction restructures the sentence to express the intended meaning: prioritising self-care because life is short. 'Leads 1st' is likely a mishearing of 'myself first'. 'Care myself' should be 'care for myself'.