Relax— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct word choice errors (e.g., "ratio" → "rhythm" or remove), avoid redundant phrases, and limit to around 3–4 sentences. Add a specific example or brief reason to support your statement.

예시: Recently I usually go to the nearby park to relax and take long runs because the steady rhythm of running helps me clear my mind. After work I sometimes stay at home and listen to music—calm songs help me unwind after a busy day.

제안: Be careful with grammar and collocations (e.g., "alone" not "along"). Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one reason and a brief future plan. Use linking word like "however" or "so" to connect ideas and keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I usually relax on my own because most of my friends don't enjoy exercising. However, I plan to persuade them to join my runs, since running together would motivate and encourage us all.

제안: This answer is clear and well-structured. To improve further, vary vocabulary slightly and add a brief personal example of a song or genre, still keeping it concise (no more than 3 sentences).

예시: Yes, music is one of my favourite ways to relax. When I'm too tired for exercise I lie down and listen to calm acoustic or ambient tracks—their gentle melodies help me unwind and reduce stress.

제안: Fix word choice and grammar errors (e.g., "glide doing" → "enjoy doing"; "various activity" → "various activities"; "uncharge" → "unwind"). Use a clear topic sentence, then contrast with a linking phrase like "On the other hand" and provide specific brief examples. Keep to 3–4 sentences maximum.

예시: If I feel energetic, I enjoy physical exercise such as long runs or playing football because these activities help me forget stress and boost my mood. On the other hand, when I'm exhausted I stay home, listen to mellow music, cook a simple meal and watch a relaxing movie to unwind.

× Likely I've been going to the park and taking long runs to relax because the ratio and physical movements really help me release things and play my mind.

✓ I have been going to the park and taking long runs to relax because the rhythm of physical movement really helps me release stress and clear my mind.

Errors: 'Likely' is unnecessary and awkward here; use of present perfect continuous 'I have been going' is fine but remove 'Likely' to match meaning. 'the ratio and physical movements' is incorrect word choice — 'rhythm of physical movement' or 'physical activity' fits. 'release things' is vague; 'release stress' is correct. 'play my mind' is incorrect idiom; 'clear my mind' is appropriate. Suggestion: remove 'Likely', choose correct nouns ('rhythm', 'stress') and the idiom 'clear my mind' to convey the intended meaning.

× Sometimes I also stay at home and listen to music after work in the evening, which helps me unwind after a busy day.

✓ Sometimes I also stay at home and listen to music in the evening after work, which helps me unwind after a busy day.

Minor word order: 'after work in the evening' is awkward—place 'in the evening' before or after 'after work' for clarity. No change in tense or articles needed beyond reordering. Suggestion: use natural word order 'in the evening after work.'

× I often relax with myself because although I stay with my friends, they don't like exercise, so I have to do things along.

✓ I often relax by myself because although I spend time with my friends, they don't like to exercise, so I have to do things alone.

Errors: 'relax with myself' is incorrect—use 'relax by myself' or 'relax alone'. 'stay with my friends' is odd in this context; 'spend time with my friends' is more natural. 'do things along' is wrong; the correct word is 'alone'. Suggestion: use correct reflexive/negative forms and collocations: 'by myself', 'spend time', 'alone.'

× But I think I should persuade them to run with me because when we run together we will motivate and encourage each other.

✓ But I think I should persuade them to run with me because when we run together we motivate and encourage each other.

Using 'will' for the second clause is unnecessary when stating a habitual or general result; the simple present 'we motivate' fits better. Suggestion: use simple present for general truths or habitual outcomes: 'when we run together we motivate and encourage each other.'

× Yes, listening to music is one of my favorite ways to relax.

✓ Yes, listening to music is one of my favorite ways to relax.

No grammatical error; sentence is correct. Included to indicate no change needed.

× When I'm too tired for physical activity, I often lie down and listen to calm music.

✓ When I'm too tired for physical activity, I often lie down and listen to calm music.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no changes required.

× The gentle rhythm and melody help me unwind and reduce stress.

✓ The gentle rhythm and melody help me unwind and reduce stress.

Sentence is correct; 'gentle' appropriately modifies 'rhythm.' No change needed.

× When I feel energized, I glide doing physical exercise, for example, going for long runs and playing football, because various activity helps me forget about stress and boost my mood.

✓ When I feel energized, I enjoy doing physical exercise, for example going for long runs and playing football, because various activities help me forget about stress and boost my mood.

Errors: 'glide doing' is incorrect collocation; likely intended 'enjoy doing'. 'various activity' is singular but needs plural 'various activities'. Also remove comma before 'going' for smoother flow. Suggestion: use correct verb collocations ('enjoy doing') and ensure noun-verb number agreement ('activities' to match 'various').

× On the other hand, when I'm exhausted, I prefer staying at home and usually listen to mellow music, cook a simple meal and watching a relaxing movie to uncharge.

✓ On the other hand, when I'm exhausted, I prefer staying at home and usually listen to mellow music, cook a simple meal and watch a relaxing movie to recharge.

Errors: parallelism problem—after 'prefer' use gerund 'staying' but then list verbs must be parallel: 'listen', 'cook' and 'watch' are fine but 'watching' should be 'watch'. 'to uncharge' is incorrect; the correct word is 'recharge'. Suggestion: maintain parallel verb forms in lists and use correct vocabulary ('recharge' rather than 'uncharge').