Perfume— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a brief reason or example. Avoid repetition (e.g., “perfume” repeated) and correct plural/word forms (use “kinds” or “types”, “especially”).

예시: Yes, I do. I prefer soft, floral fragrances because they feel fresh and not overpowering; for example, I often choose rose or jasmine scents for daytime wear.

제안: Begin with a direct statement, then give a specific routine or reason. Reduce filler words (e.g., “just”, “like”) and avoid repeating ideas. Use linking words for cohesion (e.g., “so”, “for example”).

예시: Yes, I use perfume every morning before work. For example, I spray a light floral scent on my wrists and neck so I feel confident and refreshed throughout the day.

제안: Make the answer more concise and provide a specific example or reason. Avoid hedging phrases like “I suppose” and reduce redundancy. Use a linking phrase to connect the reason and example.

예시: Yes, I often buy perfume as a gift because it’s popular and easy to personalise. For instance, I recently gave a citrus-scented perfume to a friend who likes fresh fragrances for her birthday.

제안: Correct brand names and grammar, and give a clear comparison with examples. Start with a direct opinion, then clarify with contrasting examples using linking words (e.g., “however”, “but”).

예시: Yes, expensive designer perfumes like Chanel or Versace can cost a lot. However, there are many affordable brands and niche lines that offer pleasant scents at lower prices, such as drugstore or independent fragrance labels.

× Yes, I love different kind of perfume, specially the soft fragrance and floral ones are my favorite perfumes.

✓ Yes, I love different kinds of perfume, especially the soft, floral ones; they are my favorite perfumes.

The phrase 'different kind' should be plural 'different kinds' to agree with 'different' and the plural noun 'perfume'. 'Specially' is incorrect here; use 'especially'. Also the adjective order and punctuation improve clarity: 'soft floral ones' is better as 'soft, floral ones'. Suggestion: use plural 'kinds' when referring to multiple types and use 'especially' to indicate emphasis.

× Yes, of course I use perfume in my day-to-day life and especially when I go to office in the morning.

✓ Yes, of course I use perfume in my day-to-day life and especially when I go to the office in the morning.

The phrase 'go to office' needs the definite article 'the' in English when talking about going to a workplace: 'go to the office'. Suggestion: include 'the' before 'office' in this context.

× I just use some perfume to smell good and like feel good.

✓ I just use some perfume to smell good and to feel good.

The sentence uses the filler 'like' incorrectly and lacks parallel structure. Use the infinitive 'to' for both verbs: 'to smell good and to feel good' or 'to smell good and feel good'. Remove 'like'. Suggestion: maintain parallel infinitive structure and avoid filler words.

× Yes, I do buy perfumes as a gift because I have many friends and on their birthdays or special occasions when I need to give them something, I usually prefer to give them perfumes because perfumes are liked by everyone I suppose.

✓ Yes, I buy perfumes as gifts because I have many friends, and on their birthdays or special occasions when I need to give them something, I usually prefer to give them perfumes because perfumes are liked by everyone, I suppose.

Several issues: 'do buy' is unnecessary for simple present; use 'buy'. 'As a gift' should be plural 'as gifts' to match 'perfumes' and multiple friends. Commas improve sentence flow. 'I suppose' is better set off with a comma. Suggestion: use the simple present for habitual actions and ensure number agreement between 'gifts' and 'friends'.

× Well yes, high end brand perfumes are expensive such as tea or Chanel and Versace, but there are also affordable perfume brand which can be cheaper than that.

✓ Well, yes, high-end brand perfumes are expensive, such as Dior, Chanel, and Versace, but there are also affordable perfume brands that can be much cheaper.

Several corrections: 'high end' should be hyphenated as 'high-end'. 'Tea' is likely a typo for 'Dior' or similar; replace with a correct brand (example: 'Dior'). 'Brand perfumes' should be 'brand perfumes' or better 'designer perfumes' but keeping structure: 'high-end brand perfumes'. 'Perfume brand' should be plural 'perfume brands' to match 'there are also'. Use 'that' instead of 'which' in restrictive clause and 'much cheaper' is more natural than 'cheaper than that'. Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives, ensure correct brand names, and match singular/plural forms.