Perfume— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., "I don't really like perfume") then add one or two specific supporting reasons. Fix grammar (use articles, verb forms) and avoid unrelated info. Keep it to 1–3 sentences and use linking words if adding details.

예시: I don't really like perfume. Instead, I enjoy expressing myself by wearing different types of clothes, because clothing is more comfortable and suits my personal style.

제안: Give a clear direct answer then explain frequency and context with correct grammar. Use linking words (however, only) to connect ideas and provide a short specific example of occasions you wear perfume.

예시: I hardly ever use perfume. However, I do wear it on special occasions such as weddings or parties, because I want to smell pleasant in social situations.

제안: Be confident and structured: answer directly (Yes/No/Maybe), then give one specific reason and a brief plan. Remove hesitations (uh) and repeat words. Include a linking word to show sequence (for example, "so" or "because").

예시: Yes, I would buy perfume as a gift because many of my friends enjoy fragrances. In fact, I plan to buy one next month for a friend's birthday.

제안: Speak more clearly and use simpler grammar: give a direct answer (It depends), then explain the factors that determine price with clear nouns and linking words. Provide a short specific contrast (designer vs budget).

예시: I think it depends. Designer perfumes with rare ingredients are usually expensive, while many brands offer cheaper alternatives that still smell good.

× Actually, I'm not huge fan of perfume, it's that I enjoy.

✓ Actually, I'm not a huge fan of perfume; it's not something I enjoy.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'huge fan' (article error). Also sentence had an unclear clause 'it's that I enjoy' — corrected to 'it's not something I enjoy' for clarity and grammaticality. Suggestion: use 'a' with countable noun phrases like 'a fan' and rephrase awkward clauses for clarity.

× Wearing different types of clothes.

✓ I prefer wearing different types of clothes.

Fragment lacking a finite verb and subject (sentence structure error). It needs a subject and main verb to be a complete sentence. Suggestion: add subject 'I' and a verb such as 'prefer' or 'like' to complete the thought.

× Hardly ever, especially on the social gatherings or any social events I use perfume.

✓ I hardly ever use perfume; I only wear it on social gatherings or events.

Adverb 'hardly ever' placed awkwardly and phrase order is unclear (adverb placement / sentence structure). Also 'on the social gatherings' uses incorrect article/preposition. Suggestion: place adverb before main verb ('I hardly ever use') and use 'at' or no article with 'social gatherings or events' depending on context.

× Otherwise I stay enjoy without perfume.

✓ Otherwise I enjoy being without perfume.

Verb choice and structure incorrect ('stay enjoy' is ungrammatical) and pronoun usage/verb form problem. Replaced with 'enjoy being without perfume' to convey intended meaning. Suggestion: use correct verb phrases ('enjoy being') rather than combining 'stay' and 'enjoy'.

× It would be a great option, uh, purchasing perfume as a gift.

✓ Purchasing perfume would be a great option as a gift.

Original mixes noun clause and comment awkwardly (sentence structure error). Move 'purchasing perfume' to subject position and clarify 'as a gift'. Suggestion: keep word order straightforward: 'Purchasing perfume would be a great option.'

× And I might purchase a perfume in the next month for giving as a gift to my friends because my friends love perfume.

✓ I might purchase a perfume next month to give to my friends because they love perfume.

Unnecessary article usage ('a perfume' is acceptable but 'purchase a perfume in the next month' is awkward), awkward infinitive form 'for giving as a gift'. Also repetitive 'my friends'. Suggestion: use 'next month' without 'in the', use 'to give' for purpose, and use 'they' to avoid repetition.

× According to my beliefs, I would say it depends on the aromatic and also a person who are doing these who are purchasing the expensive perfumes or lower budget perfumes.

✓ I would say it depends on the scent and the person who is purchasing expensive perfumes or lower-budget ones.

Multiple preposition and noun choice errors: 'According to my beliefs' is wordy; 'depends on the aromatic' is incorrect — 'scent' or 'aroma' fits; 'a person who are' has subject-verb agreement and pronoun issues; 'lower budget perfumes' needs hyphenation or 'lower-budget ones'. Suggestion: simplify opening, use 'depends on the scent and the person', ensure singular subject matches singular verb ('person who is'), and use hyphenation for compound adjectives.