Emails— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I often send emails) then give one specific reason and an example. Remove filler words (uh, um) and correct small grammar ("to communicating" → "for communication", "an often user" → "an avid user"). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often send emails because I am the student council president and need to coordinate events and tasks. For example, I email meeting agendas and follow-up reports to members every week.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence, then give 2 specific situations using linking words (for example, or also). Avoid vague phrasing ("many times") and filler sounds. Be slightly more specific about the kinds of reports or the context of checking on a friend.

예시: I usually send emails when I need formal information, for example to request reports or updates from team members. I also email friends who are difficult to reach by social media, especially when I need to share important documents or arrange meetings.

제안: Good clear answer and reason. Improve by adding a brief specific example or comparison and a linking word (because/so). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid repeating similar words ("official" and "professional" convey same idea).

예시: Yes, emails are popular in China, especially in offices, because they are the standard for formal communication. For instance, many companies use email to distribute schedules and official notices every day.

제안: Start with a direct prediction (I think it will remain popular) and give one precise reason and one balanced caveat. Remove fillers (uh, um) and tighten wording ("promotes transparency" could be explained: "keeps records of conversations"). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I think email will remain popular because it creates a written record and promotes transparency in workplaces. However, other platforms like instant messaging may grow for quick, informal conversations.

× Given that nowadays emails have become the official platform to communicating, my role as a president of the student council pushes me to use emails more than, uh, texting or verbally stating something.

✓ Given that nowadays emails have become the official platform for communicating, my role as president of the student council pushes me to use emails more than, uh, texting or speaking verbally.

The phrase 'platform to communicating' is incorrect because after 'platform' the correct preposition is 'for' followed by a gerund ('communicating') or a noun. Also 'a president' is awkward when referring to a specific role the speaker holds; use 'president' without the article. 'Verbally stating something' is wordy; 'speaking verbally' or just 'speaking' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'platform for communicating' and remove unnecessary article and redundant phrasing.

× So I would say I'm an often user.

✓ So I would say I'm often a user.

Word order and article use are incorrect. 'Often' is an adverb and should not split the noun phrase 'a user'; place 'often' before the verb phrase or before 'a user' as 'often a user'. The original 'an often user' incorrectly uses 'an' before a consonant sound and misplaces the adverb. Suggestion: place 'often' in a natural position: 'I'm often a user.' or 'I am a frequent user.'.

× Well, there are many times that I could send emails.

✓ Well, there are many times when I could send emails.

The relative clause should use 'when' to refer to times, not 'that'. Using 'that' is ungrammatical with 'times' in this context. Suggestion: use 'times when' or rephrase 'There are many occasions when I could send emails.'.

× It could be if I needed a report or an update on an issue that has been going on, or if I wanted to simply check on a friend who is hard to reach via, uh, social media or verbally.

✓ It could be if I needed a report or an update on an issue that has been going on, or if I wanted simply to check on a friend who is hard to reach via social media or by phone.

Placement of 'simply' and choice of preposition 'via' with 'verbally' are awkward. 'Via' is acceptable with 'social media' but not natural with 'verbally'; use 'by phone' or 'in person' for methods of reaching someone. Also 'simply to check' is a more standard infinitive order than 'wanted to simply check'. Suggestion: move 'simply' before 'to check' and replace 'verbally' with a clearer phrase such as 'by phone'.

× Sending emails is quite popular here, especially in the workplace.

✓ Sending emails is quite popular here, especially in workplaces.

'The workplace' implies a single specific workplace; since the speaker refers generally to work environments, plural 'workplaces' or 'the workplace' as an abstract concept are both possible. To avoid article specificity, use 'workplaces' or rephrase 'in the workplace generally'. Suggestion: use 'in workplaces' or 'in the workplace' depending on intended meaning; here 'workplaces' is clearer for generality.

× Given that it is the official and the professional way of communicating with your team, it is used on a daily basis.

✓ Given that it is the official and professional way of communicating with one’s team, it is used on a daily basis.

Mixing 'your' in a general statement can be informal and inconsistent in a formal answer; use the impersonal 'one's' or rephrase with 'people' or 'teams'. Also 'the official and professional' can drop the second 'the'. Suggestion: use consistent impersonal pronouns or reword: '...communicating with one's team' or '...communicating within teams'.

× In my honest opinion, I believe that it will remain popular, uh, given that it promotes transparency.

✓ In my honest opinion, I believe that it will remain popular given that it promotes transparency.

Comma before 'given that' is unnecessary; the filler 'uh' should be removed in a corrected sentence. The conjunction 'given that' correctly introduces the reason, but punctuation should be streamlined. Suggestion: remove fillers and unnecessary commas for clarity.

× Umm, and people would not want to lose that.

✓ And people would not want to lose it.

Use of 'that' is vague; 'it' refers back to 'transparency' more naturally. Also filler 'Umm' should be removed. Suggestion: remove fillers and use clear pronouns that directly reference the noun: 'it' for 'transparency'.

× But there could definitely be other communicating platforms.

✓ But there could definitely be other communication platforms.

'Communicating platforms' is incorrect; use the noun 'communication' to modify 'platforms'. The sentence structure otherwise is acceptable. Suggestion: use noun modifiers correctly: 'communication platforms' or 'communication methods'.