Computers— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two specific examples with linking words. Avoid vague phrasing like "important time." Keep answers natural and within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I use a computer in many situations, such as for studying and work. For example, I use it to research topics and write assignments, and I also use software for calculations and data analysis. Additionally, I use a computer for communication, like emailing or joining online classes.

제안: Good personal detail and emotion. Improve by using a concise topic sentence, clearer linking words, and a brief specific example of the game or activity to add concreteness. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I first used a computer when I was ten, mainly to play video games. For instance, I remember playing a simple platform game that fascinated me and sparked my interest in technology, which I still feel nostalgic about.

제안: Answer directly and avoid conflicting or vague statements. If you say life would be tranquil and productive, explain why and give specific examples of tasks that would take longer. Use linking words like "however" or "because" and correct grammar (e.g., "than before").

예시: Without a computer, life might feel calmer because there would be fewer distractions; however, many tasks would be slower. For example, writing reports or researching information would take much longer because I would have to rely on books or handwritten notes.

제안: Directly answer with your personal perspective rather than general 'you'. Give a specific condition and explain why it would be difficult, using linking words. Keep language precise and avoid repetition.

예시: It would be difficult for me to use a computer during a strictly proctored exam because electronic devices are usually banned. Also, poor internet connection or power outages would make it hard to access online resources or submit work on time.

× Computers are used almost everywhere nowadays, as they're the basis for calculations, for research, even for doing assignments and important time.

✓ Computers are used almost everywhere nowadays, as they're the basis for calculations, for research, even for doing assignments and important tasks.

The word 'time' is incorrect here because the intended noun is 'tasks' (things you do), not 'time' (a measurement). This is an incorrect use of a noun that functions like an adjective/adverb in context; it produces a semantic error. Suggestion: use 'tasks' to refer to assignments and work items.

× The first time I used a computer was when I was 10 and I did not use it for something productive but rather for playing video games on it and it was an amazing experience.

✓ The first time I used a computer was when I was ten, and I did not use it for anything productive but rather for playing video games, which was an amazing experience.

Run-on structure and tense consistency: 'did not use it for something productive' is awkward; 'anything productive' is more natural. Also combine clauses to avoid repetition of 'it' and clarify the remark about the experience. Suggestion: use 'anything' with negative past tense and replace the second 'it' with a non-repeating clause.

× I still get nostalgia thinking about it.

✓ I still feel nostalgic when I think about it.

'Get nostalgia' is incorrect collocation in English. The correct adjective form is 'nostalgic' and the verb collocation is 'feel nostalgic'. Also use 'when I think about it' for natural present-tense phrasing. Suggestion: use common collocations like 'feel nostalgic' or 'feel nostalgic about'.

× It would be quite tranquil and productive I believe, although I would be taking twice as much time to do something without a computer then compared.

✓ It would be quite tranquil and productive, I believe, although I would take twice as much time to do tasks without a computer compared to now.

Incorrect modal/tense and awkward comparative phrase: 'would be taking' is less natural here than 'would take' for a general hypothetical; 'then compared' is ungrammatical. Use 'compared to now' or 'compared to using a computer' for a clear comparison. Suggestion: use simple conditional 'would take' and a clear comparison phrase.

× Well, I can't think of any condition where it would be difficult for you to use a computer.

✓ Well, I can't think of any condition where it would be difficult for me to use a computer.

Pronoun mismatch: the student is speaking about their own ability, so 'you' is incorrect; it should be 'me'. Use the correct first-person pronoun to match the speaker. Suggestion: align pronouns to the speaker's perspective.

× Maybe during an examination that is paper based you are not allowed to use a computer as it could be a means of plagiarism and could have consequences.

✓ Maybe during a paper-based examination you would not be allowed to use a computer, as it could enable plagiarism and have consequences.

Article and compound adjective issues: 'an examination that is paper based' is wordy and missing hyphenation; 'a paper-based examination' is idiomatic. Also change 'are not allowed' to conditional 'would not be allowed' to match hypothetical context; 'could be a means of plagiarism' is awkward—use 'enable plagiarism'. Suggestion: use 'a' with countable noun and hyphenate compound adjectives, and use 'would' for hypothetical restrictions.