Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear but could be improved by correcting grammar errors and making the description more concise and natural. Avoid redundancy such as "so-called" and "even up till now". Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

예시: If I remember correctly, an advertisement that impressed me as a child was from Freedom Milk, a popular brand in Vietnam. Their ads featured a big tiger dressed like Superman who always drank their milk to recharge his energy.

제안: Your answer addresses the question but contains some awkward phrasing and minor inaccuracies (e.g., 'arts' instead of 'parts'). Try to use clearer vocabulary and linking words to improve coherence. Also, avoid repetition and be more specific.

예시: Yes, I often see many advertisements on trains, buses, and other transport. They are usually placed inside the carriages or on the exterior of the vehicles. For example, I often notice posters about upcoming concerts or events while traveling by train.

제안: Your answer shows good ideas but has grammatical errors and awkward expressions. Try to use simpler, clearer sentences and correct grammar, such as 'an indispensable role' and 'variety of ads'. Also, avoid filler words like 'uh'.

예시: Although I understand that advertisements play an important role in promoting economic growth and providing updated information, I find them frustrating sometimes. For example, when I watch YouTube, many ads pop up and distract my attention.

제안: Your answer contains interesting content but has several grammar and vocabulary mistakes. Use simpler and more accurate expressions, avoid filler words, and clarify your ideas. Also, check spelling and word choice (e.g., 'fascination', 'holiday', 'Coca-Cola', 'cocoa').

예시: To be honest, I am fascinated by advertisements that promote good moral values, like family bonds and sharing. For example, Coca-Cola recently released an ad about the Tet holiday, showing a family gathering around a table full of food and enjoying Coca-Cola together.

제안: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors and filler words. Try to express your ideas more clearly and concisely, avoid repetition, and complete your sentences. Use linking words to improve coherence.

예시: Yes, definitely. Nowadays, most businesses advertise on digital devices like phones and computers because people use them every day. Therefore, these platforms are very effective for advertising.

× In their advertisements there was a really big tiger wearing a like Superman and whenever he need to recharge he always drink the their milk.

✓ In their advertisements there was a really big tiger wearing something like Superman and whenever he needed to recharge he always drank their milk.

The sentence has a 'There be' structure correctly used but contains other errors: 'need' should be in past tense 'needed' to match the past context, and 'drink' should be 'drank' for past tense. Also, 'the their milk' is incorrect; 'their milk' is correct. The phrase 'wearing a like Superman' is awkward; 'wearing something like Superman' is clearer.

× Yes, I do see a substantial amount of advertisement on the trains and buses and other forms of transport.

✓ Yes, I do see a substantial amount of advertisements on the trains and buses and other forms of transport.

The word 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' because it refers to multiple ads. 'Amount of' is used with uncountable nouns; since advertisements are countable, 'number of advertisements' would be more precise, but 'substantial amount of advertisements' is commonly accepted in speech.

× They usually place it in these arts inside the carriage or outside the exterior of the buses.

✓ They usually place them in these arts inside the carriage or on the exterior of the buses.

The preposition 'in' is correct for 'inside the carriage' but 'outside the exterior' is redundant; 'on the exterior' is correct. Also, 'it' should be 'them' to agree with plural 'advertisements'.

× On the trains, for example, I usually notice the upcoming events or concerts due to their posters on the bus.

✓ On the trains, for example, I usually notice upcoming events or concerts due to their posters on the bus.

The definite article 'the' before 'upcoming events' is unnecessary. Also, 'posters on the bus' is inconsistent with 'on the trains'; it should be 'posters on the train' or 'on the buses' depending on context.

× it keeps popping up a varieties of ads which distracts my attentions and impacts.

✓ it keeps popping up a variety of ads which distract my attention and have an impact.

'A varieties' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'a variety of'. 'Distracts' should be 'distract' to agree with plural 'ads'. 'Attentions' should be singular 'attention'. 'Impacts' is vague; 'have an impact' is clearer.

× I have an inevitable fascinations for advertisements with good moral value, such as uh, family bonds or sharing and goodness.

✓ I have an inevitable fascination for advertisements with good moral values, such as family bonds, sharing, and kindness.

'Fascinations' should be singular 'fascination' after 'an'. 'Moral value' should be plural 'moral values' to match examples. 'Goodness' is better replaced with 'kindness' for clarity. Commas improve readability.

× Recently, Coca-Cola just uploaded a new advertisement about the Tate holiday where a family gathering uh, around a table food of foods and Coco cocoa.

✓ Recently, Coca-Cola just uploaded a new advertisement about the Tet holiday where a family is gathering around a table of food and Coca-Cola.

'Tate holiday' is likely 'Tet holiday'. 'Family gathering' needs a verb: 'family is gathering'. 'Food of foods' is incorrect; 'table of food' is correct. 'Coco cocoa' should be 'Coca-Cola'.

× Yes, definitely nowadays most businesses utilize every place to put on their advertisements especially the digital devices like our phones or computers.

✓ Yes, definitely nowadays most businesses utilize every place to put their advertisements, especially on digital devices like our phones or computers.

The phrase 'put on their advertisements' is incorrect; it should be 'put their advertisements'. Also, 'especially the digital devices' needs the preposition 'on' before 'digital devices'.

× When nowadays umm people use these items a lot like everyday, so I believe that they seize the success in.

✓ Nowadays, when people use these items a lot every day, I believe that they achieve success.

The sentence is fragmented and awkward. 'When nowadays umm people use these items a lot like everyday, so' is incorrect structure. 'Seize the success in' is unclear; 'achieve success' is better. 'Everyday' (adjective) should be 'every day' (adverb).