Swimming— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally good but can be improved by avoiding redundancy and making sentences more natural. For example, instead of saying 'I love spending my time', specify what you enjoy doing. Also, try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

예시: Yes, I like swimming because it is an excellent way to keep fit and healthy. Moreover, it helps me relax, especially on weekends. I usually spend my weekends at the pool with my family, which is a great opportunity for us to bond and enjoy quality time together.

제안: Your answer has some grammatical errors and lacks coherence. Try to structure your answer clearly with a topic sentence and supporting details, and use linking words to connect ideas. Also, avoid contradictory statements without explanation.

예시: Learning to swim can be challenging at first. I took one month of training with my dad, and although it was difficult initially, I found it enjoyable and relaxing as I improved. Overall, the first month was a struggle, but persistence helped me overcome it.

제안: Your answer provides relevant information but can be improved by correcting grammar and making the response more coherent. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about the places and activities.

예시: In my country, many people go swimming at clubs that have swimming pools. For example, my family and I often visit a Country Club where we have a membership. Besides swimming, we also enjoy interesting rides there, which makes our time more fun and memorable.

제안: Your answer has several grammatical mistakes and unclear phrases. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, use correct grammar, and avoid incomplete sentences. Also, use linking words to compare and contrast effectively.

예시: Swimming in a pool and swimming in the sea are quite different. Pools are divided into sections such as shallow areas for children, medium depth for adults, and deep sections for professional swimmers. In contrast, the sea does not have these divisions and can be dangerous, especially for children, due to waves and currents.

× Swimming is very relaxing especially on weekends.

✓ Swimming is very relaxing, especially on weekends.

A comma is needed before 'especially' to separate the adverbial phrase and improve sentence clarity.

× I love spending my time.

✓ I love spending my time swimming.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear; specifying what time is spent improves clarity.

× I had a one month of training for the swim with my dad, but it's quite easy and it is very funny and relaxing.

✓ I had one month of training for swimming with my dad, but it's quite easy and very fun and relaxing.

The article 'a' is unnecessary before 'one month'; 'for the swim' should be 'for swimming'; 'funny' is incorrect here, 'fun' is appropriate.

× But yeah, it's struggle in the first month.

✓ But yeah, it was a struggle in the first month.

The sentence lacks an article and correct verb form; 'struggle' should be a noun with an article and past tense verb 'was' to match context.

× There are many clubs which has swimming pool inside them.

✓ There are many clubs which have swimming pools inside them.

The plural subject 'clubs' requires the plural verb 'have'; 'swimming pool' should be plural to match 'clubs'.

× My family and I go to a Country Club.

✓ My family and I go to a country club.

'Country club' should not be capitalized unless it is a proper noun.

× We have a membership so we like to go everywhere.

✓ We have a membership, so we like to go there often.

'Go everywhere' is vague; 'go there often' is clearer and more natural; a comma is needed before 'so'.

× There are some interesting rides we can enjoy.

✓ There are some interesting rides that we can enjoy.

Adding 'that' improves sentence structure and clarity.

× I like spending time and have fun swimming with my family.

✓ I like spending time and having fun swimming with my family.

Parallel structure requires 'having' to match 'spending'.

× There's a big difference between swimming in Pool and swimming in the sea.

✓ There's a big difference between swimming in the pool and swimming in the sea.

The definite article 'the' is needed before 'pool'.

× Pools have different sections, a shallows area for small children's, a mid depth area for adults and deep section for Olympics three months.

✓ Pools have different sections: a shallow area for small children, a mid-depth area for adults, and a deep section for Olympic training.

'Shallows' should be 'shallow'; 'children's' is incorrect possessive, should be plural 'children'; 'mid depth' should be hyphenated; 'Olympics three months' is unclear, corrected to 'Olympic training' for clarity.

× In contrast, the sea has none of this deficit and there are many danger.

✓ In contrast, the sea has none of these features and there is much danger.

'Deficit' is incorrect here; 'features' fits better; 'danger' is uncountable, so 'much' is used instead of 'many'.

× There is a many danger for children's to go in the sea and.

✓ There is much danger for children to go in the sea.

'Danger' is uncountable, so 'much' is correct; 'children's' is incorrect possessive, should be plural 'children'; sentence is incomplete, so ending is removed for correctness.