Swimming— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer wa natural desuga, repetition ya redundant na phrase ga arimasu. "I like swimming pretty much particularly in hot season" wa "I especially enjoy swimming in the hot season" to simpler ni iemasu. Mata, "while I just swim in hot season while in winter I like to hot bathtub" wa muzukashii desu node, setsumei wo wakariyasuku shite kudasai.

예시: I especially enjoy swimming in the hot season because it is very beneficial for my body. It makes me feel fitter and fresher. However, in winter, I prefer taking a hot bath rather than swimming.

제안: Answer wa rikai dekimasu ga, grammar to word choice ni shou shou no machigai ga arimasu. "If the person is very young outside" wa "If the person is very young" to shite, "more on the water" wa "spend more time in the water" to iemasu. Mata, linking words wo tsukatte setsumei wo rikai shi yasuku shite kudasai.

예시: I believe it depends on the person's age. If someone is very young, they can learn to swim faster than adults because they spend more time in the water and have more confidence in themselves.

제안: Answer ni wa "natural hypothesis" to iu fushigi na phrase ga arimasu. Kore wa "natural places" ya "natural bodies of water" to shite, setsumei wo shite kudasai. Mata, sentence ga nagaku natte imasu node, bun wo wakete, rikai shi yasuku shite kudasai.

예시: Many people in my country prefer to swim in natural places like rivers, even from a young age. We used to go to the river often because it is naturally available, easy to access, and free of charge.

제안: Answer wa rikai dekimasu ga, grammar to word order ni shou shou no machigai ga arimasu. "I have no any idea" wa "I have no idea" to shite, "pretty easy is swimming in Pool" wa "swimming in a pool is easier" to iemasu. Mata, linking words wo tsukatte setsumei wo rikai shi yasuku shite kudasai.

예시: I have no experience swimming in the sea because I live in Lander County. However, I believe swimming in a pool is easier because the waves and tides in the sea can disturb you, so you need extra skills to swim there.

× I like swimming pretty much particularly in hot season when it it is very beneficial for our body and I feel like I become more fit and fresh while I just swim in hot season while in winter I like to hot bathtub as compared to swimming.

✓ I like swimming quite a lot, particularly in the hot season when it is very beneficial for our body and I feel like I become fitter and fresher while I swim in the hot season. In winter, I prefer a hot bathtub compared to swimming.

The original sentence has tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. 'It it is' is a repetition error. 'Become more fit and fresh' should be 'become fitter and fresher' to use correct comparative adjectives. 'I just swim' is better as 'I swim' for clarity. 'I like to hot bathtub' is incorrect; it should be 'I prefer a hot bathtub'. Also, the sentence was run-on and needed to be split for clarity.

× Well, I believe it depends upon the age. If the person is very young outside, they can learn swimming faster than that of the adult well.

✓ Well, I believe it depends on the age. If the person is very young, they can learn swimming faster than an adult.

The phrase 'depends upon' is less common and 'depends on' is preferred. 'Very young outside' is incorrect; 'very young' suffices. 'Than that of the adult well' is awkward and incorrect; it should be 'than an adult' for comparison.

× They need to be more on the water and have some confidence on themselves to learn it.

✓ They need to spend more time in the water and have some confidence in themselves to learn it.

The phrase 'more on the water' is incorrect; 'spend more time in the water' is appropriate. Also, 'confidence on themselves' should be 'confidence in themselves'.

× A lot of people in my country prefer to swim in natural hypothesis caused by the rivers, even when you are small.

✓ A lot of people in my country prefer to swim in natural habitats created by rivers, even when they are young.

'Natural hypothesis' is incorrect; the correct term is 'natural habitats'. 'Caused by the rivers' is better as 'created by rivers'. 'Even when you are small' is informal and unclear; 'even when they are young' is clearer and more appropriate.

× We used to always go to the river and swim there since they are naturally available and very easy and also free of cost.

✓ We always used to go to the river and swim there since they are naturally available, very accessible, and free of cost.

The adverb placement 'used to always' is awkward; 'always used to' is better. 'They are naturally available' is vague; specifying 'rivers' or 'places' would be clearer, but kept as is for context. Added 'very accessible' for clarity. The sentence structure was improved for fluency.

× Since I've belonged to the Lander county, I have no any idea about swimming in sea, but I believe that it is pretty easy is swimming in Pool.

✓ Since I have belonged to Lander County, I have no idea about swimming in the sea, but I believe that swimming in a pool is pretty easy.

'I have no any idea' is incorrect; it should be 'I have no idea'. 'Swimming in sea' needs the definite article 'the sea'. 'It is pretty easy is swimming in Pool' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'swimming in a pool is pretty easy'. Also, 'Lander county' should be capitalized as 'Lander County'.

× It is because the waves and tide in the sea always disturb ourselves and we need some extra skill over the sea.

✓ It is because the waves and tides in the sea always disturb us, and we need some extra skills for swimming in the sea.

'Disturb ourselves' is incorrect; it should be 'disturb us'. 'Tide' should be plural 'tides' to match 'waves'. 'Extra skill' should be plural 'extra skills'. 'Over the sea' is awkward; 'for swimming in the sea' is clearer.