Watch— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to use more natural English expressions and correct grammar. For example, say "I like to wear a watch, especially an Apple smartwatch because it has many useful features." Also, avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure.

예시: I like to wear a watch, especially an Apple smartwatch because it has many useful features. For example, it can monitor my heart rate and help me during training sessions.

제안: Be careful with clarity and grammar. The sentence "I gave my Apple Watch as a gift when I was 19" is confusing. Instead, say "My father gave me an Apple Watch Series 10 as a birthday gift when I was 19, and I use it every day."

예시: My father gave me an Apple Watch Series 10 as a birthday gift when I was 19, and I have been using it every day since then.

제안: Avoid filler words like "uh" and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, "Some people wear expensive watches to look luxurious and to impress others, especially in business settings."

예시: Some people wear expensive watches to look luxurious and impress others. For instance, in business, wearing a luxury watch can help create a good impression.

제안: Improve grammar and clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, "Nowadays, wearing a watch is not necessary because smartphones show the time. However, some people wear watches to look stylish or to track fitness activities."

예시: Nowadays, wearing a watch is not necessary because smartphones can show the time. However, some people prefer to wear watches to look stylish or to monitor their fitness, like tracking training time and calories.

× Yeah, I like to wear watch and the watch which I really like to wear is smart watch from Apple because it has several facilities which I can use.

✓ Yeah, I like to wear a watch and the watch which I really like to wear is a smart watch from Apple because it has several facilities which I can use.

The word 'watch' is countable and singular here, so it requires the indefinite article 'a' before it. Without the article, the sentence is grammatically incorrect.

× Yeah, I like to wear watch and the watch which I really like to wear is smart watch from Apple because it has several facilities which I can use.

✓ Yeah, I like to wear a watch and the watch which I really like to wear is a smart watch from Apple because it has several features which I can use.

The word 'facilities' is not appropriate here; 'features' is the correct plural noun to describe functions or capabilities of a device like a smart watch.

× For example, it can anticipate my hurt heart and also it can be useful for training.

✓ For example, it can detect my heart rate and also it can be useful for training.

The phrase 'anticipate my hurt heart' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'detect my heart rate' to describe what a smart watch does. 'Heart rate' is singular and the phrase is more accurate.

× Yeah, I gave my Apple Watch as a gift when I was, I think 19.

✓ Yeah, I got my Apple Watch as a gift when I was, I think, 19.

The student incorrectly used 'gave' instead of 'got' or 'received'. Since the student is the recipient, the past tense verb should reflect receiving, not giving.

× My father gave it to me as a birthday gift and that was Apple Watch Series 10 and I already use it every day now.

✓ My father gave it to me as a birthday gift and that was the Apple Watch Series 10 and I have already used it every day since then.

The phrase 'I already use it every day now' is awkward. Using present perfect 'have already used' and adding 'since then' better expresses continuous use from past to present.

× sometimes some people like to, uh, look luxury among everyone and sometimes, uh, the people who he wants to trade with the other people like to wear luxury and expensive watch to show off, uh, for everyone for.

✓ Sometimes some people like to look luxurious among everyone and sometimes, the people who want to trade with others like to wear luxury and expensive watches to show off to everyone.

'Look luxury' is incorrect; the adjective form 'luxurious' should be used. Also, 'watch' should be plural 'watches' because it refers to people in general. The phrase 'the people who he wants to trade' is incorrect; it should be 'people who want to trade'. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× Right now I think it's not necessary to wear watch because people in smartphones can show the time a table for you.

✓ Right now I think it's not necessary to wear a watch because smartphones can show the time for you on a table.

The phrase 'people in smartphones' is incorrect; it should be 'smartphones'. Also, 'a table' is misplaced and unclear; it should be 'on a table' if referring to a surface. The sentence is corrected for clarity and proper preposition use.

× Right now I think it's not necessary to wear watch because people in smartphones can show the time a table for you.

✓ Right now I think it's not necessary to wear a watch because smartphones can show the time for you.

The phrase 'wear watch' is missing the article 'a'. Also, 'people in smartphones' is incorrect; it should be 'smartphones'. The phrase 'a table' is unnecessary and confusing here, so it is removed.

× But if you want to look luxury or for example if you want to buy a smart watch to calculate your training time and also your calorie, it's better for you to wear watch, but it's not.

✓ But if you want to look luxurious or, for example, if you want to buy a smart watch to calculate your training time and also your calories, it's better for you to wear a watch, but it's not necessary.

'Look luxury' should be 'look luxurious'. 'Calorie' should be plural 'calories' because it refers to a countable amount. 'Wear watch' needs the article 'a'. The sentence ending 'but it's not' is incomplete; adding 'necessary' completes the thought.