Holidays— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 内容は伝わるが、文法や語順、語彙の誤りが多く、冗長な表現や繰り返しがある。話は主題文（topic sentence）で始めてから具体的な詳細（いつ・誰と・どこで・何をしたか）を論理的に短く述べると良い。接続詞を使って文のまとまりを作り、不要な重複（例: "where I'm I've never been to" や "so this is my valuable experience and well I like the most"）を避ける。発音にも注意して、過去形（went, was）を正しく使う練習をすること。

예시: I went to Hawaii with my family about two years ago. It was my first time visiting many of the islands, so I enjoyed trying new activities like snorkeling and hiking. Overall, it was a memorable and valuable experience for all of us.

제안: 内容は明確だが、語彙の繰り返し（"new new things"）や不自然な表現（"take the rest"）がある。まず直接的な主旨を述べ、その後に具体例や理由を1〜2文で述べると良い。動詞句やコロケーション（"take a rest" ではなく "rest" または "take a break"）を正しく使い、繋ぎ言葉（for example, such as）を適切に使う練習をすること。

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy holidays because they give me a chance to rest and spend quality time with my family. For example, during holidays I often try new activities like visiting nearby towns or tasting local food.

제안: 意図は伝わるが文法が崩れており、語順や語彙の誤用が目立つ（"Christmas is atmosphere" や "dear this is I loved one"）。まず明確な主題文（"My favorite public holiday is Christmas."）を言い、その理由を簡潔に述べる。具体例（家族の集まり、装飾、プレゼントなど）を使うと説得力が増す。"atmosphere" を使うなら "the festive atmosphere" など正しい形で。

예시: My favorite public holiday is Christmas because I love the festive atmosphere and time with family. For example, we decorate the house, exchange gifts, and enjoy a large meal together, which makes me feel relaxed and happy.

제안: 全体の意味は分かるが、語順や冠詞、単語の選び方が不自然（"friends my" や "feel entertained and valued" の繰り返し）で、具体性が不足している。行動を列挙する際は簡潔にし、理由と具体例を一つ二つに絞ると良い。語彙は "go shopping" や "visit relatives" など日常的表現を使う練習をすること。

예시: On holidays I usually spend time with my family and friends. We often go shopping for festive food, visit relatives, and sometimes watch movies together, which makes me feel happy and connected.

제안: 肯定は明確だが、文法（不定詞の使い方や語順）、および最後の文の意味が不明確（"my feelings will increase"）で曖昧。まずシンプルな主題文の後に具体的な活動を2つ示し、どのように感じるかを自然な表現で述べる（"I feel relaxed" 等）。短く明確な文を心がけること。

예시: Yes, I do. I like spending holidays at home because I enjoy watching movies and reading books. Staying at home helps me relax and recharge, especially when I spend time with my family.

제안: 趣旨は明確で良いが語彙ミス（"severe activities", "training local food"）があり、自然さを損なっている。正しいコロケーションを使い（"a variety of activities", "trying local food"）、Supporting detailsを具体的にするとより高得点になる。接続語の使い方は良いので、語彙の修正を中心に練習すること。

예시: I prefer a busy holiday because it makes me feel energetic and excited. For example, I like planning a variety of activities such as sightseeing, visiting museums, and trying local food to make the most of my trip.

제안: 意味は伝わるが語彙（"excellent holiday"）や構文が不自然で冗長。まず明確に選択（exciting）を述べ、その理由を1文で示し、具体例を1つか2つ挙げる。単語は文脈に合ったものを選ぶ（"exciting" rather than "excellent"；"amusement park" や "sightseeing"）。話を簡潔にまとめる練習をすること。

예시: I would prefer an exciting holiday because I enjoy activities and new experiences. For example, I often visit amusement parks, try local street food, and explore busy markets to stay active and entertained.

× When my last holiday I went on trip to Hawaii with my family about two years ago.

✓ On my last holiday I went on a trip to Hawaii with my family about two years ago.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing articles. 'When my last holiday' is an incorrect temporal phrase; use 'On my last holiday'. 'on trip' needs the indefinite article 'a'. Suggestion: place the time phrase at the beginning ('On my last holiday') then the subject and verb ('I went on a trip').

× It was so much fun because we went to the places that where I'm I've never been to.

✓ It was so much fun because we went to places I had never been to.

The sentence has redundant and incorrect relative clause markers and tense. 'that where' is incorrect; choose one (usually omit both and use a relative clause or 'to places'). Because the trip occurred in the past, use past perfect 'had never been' to indicate that prior lack of experience. Also avoid ending with 'to' twice; 'places I had never been to' is correct.

× So this is my valuable experience and well I like the most.

✓ So this was a valuable experience that I liked the most.

Tense and word order are inconsistent. The holiday is in the past, so use past tense 'was' and 'liked'. Use 'a valuable experience' with an article. 'that I liked the most' correctly links the clause. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and include necessary articles.

× Yes I do, I really enjoy holidays because this is the time that I can take the rest and socialize with my loved ones more.

✓ Yes, I do. I really enjoy holidays because they are a time when I can rest and socialize more with my loved ones.

Use plural pronoun 'they' to refer to 'holidays' and correct phrase 'rest' rather than 'take the rest'. 'a time when' is the idiomatic expression. Also place 'more' after the verb phrase 'socialize more with'.

× And by having holidays I can experience new things such as going to somewhere and explore new new things.

✓ And during holidays I can experience new things such as going somewhere and exploring new things.

Use 'during' or 'on' with 'holidays' rather than 'by having'. 'Going to somewhere' is incorrect; use 'going somewhere'. When listing activities, use parallel forms: 'going' and 'exploring' (both -ing forms).

× My all time favorite public holiday is always Christmas.

✓ My all-time favorite public holiday is Christmas.

Use hyphenated adjective 'all-time' before a noun and remove redundant 'always'. Also 'favorite public holiday is Christmas' is sufficient. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary adverbs.

× This is because I really like Christmas is atmosphere and which makes me feel calm and relaxed.

✓ This is because I really like the Christmas atmosphere, which makes me feel calm and relaxed.

Remove the extra verb 'is' and use 'the Christmas atmosphere'. Use a comma before the non-restrictive clause starting with 'which'. Also include the definite article 'the' with 'Christmas atmosphere'.

× I really like Santa Claus and dear this is I loved one.

✓ I really like Santa Claus and dear ones; they are what I love.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Dear this is I loved one' is incorrect pronoun and word order. If the student means 'dear ones' (close people) or 'deer' (animal) it should be clarified. I suggested 'dear ones' and a simple clause. Better: 'I really like Santa Claus and the people I love.' Ensure correct noun phrases and pronouns.

× Well in my holiday I always spend time with friends my and my family.

✓ Well, on my holidays I always spend time with my friends and my family.

Use 'on my holidays' or 'during my holiday' and place possessive 'my' before 'friends'. Word order was wrong: 'friends my' should be 'my friends'. Keep consistent plural as appropriate.

× This is because by having them I can feel entertained and valued and I often go to the supermarket or local shop on Christmas holiday which makes so fun and entertained.

✓ This is because being with them makes me feel entertained and valued, and I often go to the supermarket or local shops at Christmas, which is fun.

Improve phrasing: 'by having them' is unnatural; use 'being with them'. Use plural 'shops' or 'the local shop'. 'Which makes so fun and entertained' is ungrammatical; use 'which is fun'. Maintain parallelism and correct relative clause placement.

× Yes I do, I do like spend holiday at my house because I really enjoy watching movies and reading books.

✓ Yes, I do. I like spending holidays at my house because I really enjoy watching movies and reading books.

After 'like', use the -ing form 'spending'. Use plural 'holidays' or 'a holiday' for consistency. Also add necessary punctuation between clauses.

× So by having a long or spend time with my family my feelings will increase and more enjoy.

✓ So by having a long holiday and spending time with my family, I feel happier and enjoy myself more.

Original sentence mixes forms and has unclear meaning. Use 'a long holiday' and parallel gerunds 'spending'. Replace vague 'my feelings will increase' with 'I feel happier'. Use 'enjoy myself more' to express increased enjoyment.

× For example, I enjoy planning severe activities like sightseeing and training local food, which helps me make the most of my time.

✓ For example, I enjoy planning several activities like sightseeing and trying local food, which helps me make the most of my time.

'Severe' is the wrong word; use 'several'. 'Training local food' is incorrect; 'trying local food' is correct. Ensure vocabulary is appropriate and verbs align with meaning.

× To be honest, I prefer excellent holiday because I really like busy holiday so I often make the similar plan on a day so so I just basically really love exciting holidays such as going to supermarket or amusement park.

✓ To be honest, I prefer exciting holidays because I really like busy holidays, so I often make a similar plan for a day. I basically love exciting holidays such as going to the supermarket or an amusement park.

Multiple issues: 'excellent holiday' should be 'exciting holiday'. Use plural 'holidays' consistently. 'Make the similar plan on a day' is awkward; use 'make a similar plan for a day'. Add articles 'the'/'a' where needed: 'the supermarket' or 'an amusement park'. Break into shorter sentences for clarity.