Holidays— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, avoid hesitations and fillers, and add one specific detail. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "then", "also").

예시: A few months ago my family and I visited the Abu Dhabi and VAPS Hindu temples in Dubai. It was a memorable experience because we learned about local religious practices and architecture. After the visits, we relaxed at a nearby park and discussed what we had seen.

제안: Answer directly and avoid irrelevant self-descriptions. Give clear reasons with linking words and specific examples. Reduce fillers and use varied vocabulary (e.g., "relaxing", "refreshing").

예시: Yes, I enjoy holidays because they let me relax and reduce stress. For example, during holidays I visit different places and try new foods, which refreshes my mind and improves my mood.

제안: Be specific: name the holiday clearly and explain reasons in organized sentences. Use linking words and concrete details (e.g., activities, places). Avoid repetition and fillers.

예시: My favorite public holiday is the Surat beach festival because there are beautiful beaches, riverfront activities and a large zoo nearby. During the festival we can visit markets, watch performances and spend time at the beach with family.

제안: Give a clear main sentence and then add specific activities and reasons. Use present simple for habitual actions and include linking words (e.g., "because", "also"). Remove hesitations.

예시: On holidays I usually visit my village because it preserves traditional culture and local theatre. I also stay with my grandparents and we cook traditional meals and attend performances together.

제안: Be concise and correct numbers/phrasing. Start with a topic sentence, then mention specific activities and benefits using linking words. Avoid repetition and fillers.

예시: Yes, I enjoy spending time at home because it lets me relax and have quality time with my son. We often go to the park for walks and cycling, which is good exercise and helps us bond.

제안: Give a clear preference and explain reasons with specific examples. Use correct collocations ("leisurely holiday") and avoid vague phrases. Keep to two or three sentences max.

예시: I prefer a leisurely holiday because I like to rest and explore at a slow pace. For example, I enjoy long walks, reading and visiting a museum without rushing.

제안: State your preference clearly, give specific reasons and an example. Use linking words ("because", "for example") and avoid repetition and hesitations.

예시: I prefer peaceful holidays because they allow me to relax and create lasting memories with friends. For example, we often take quiet walks, chat and take photos, which makes the trip feel calm and memorable.

× A few months ago, me and my family uh visit to Abu Dhabi temple in Dubai.

✓ A few months ago, my family and I visited the Abu Dhabi temple in Dubai.

Use 'my family and I' instead of 'me and my family' for correct subject pronoun order. 'Visit' is wrong tense and form; the past tense 'visited' is required for a completed action that happened 'a few months ago'. Also include the definite article 'the' before a specific temple name.

× Uh, we also went to uh VAPS Hindu temple.

✓ We also went to the VAPS Hindu temple.

The verb 'went' is correctly past tense, but the sentence needs the definite article 'the' before a specific temple name. Ensure articles are used with specific places.

× It is very memorable and enjoyable uh, thing for us.

✓ It was a very memorable and enjoyable experience for us.

Use 'was' to match past tense. 'Thing' is vague; 'experience' is a more appropriate noun. Add 'very' before both adjectives if needed and ensure natural adjective order 'memorable and enjoyable'.

× After that, uh, uh, we had a time relax and learn about the culture.

✓ After that, we had time to relax and learn about the culture.

Use the infinitive 'to relax' after 'had time' and keep verbs in past tense context. Remove unnecessary articles 'a' before 'time' in this expression.

× Yes, I, uh, I am a quite, uh, extraordinary person.

✓ Yes, I am quite an ordinary person.

'A quite extraordinary' is ungrammatical: use 'quite an' before a vowel-sound adjective. Also 'extraordinary' likely conflicts with intended meaning; 'ordinary' is more natural for someone saying they like holidays. If 'extraordinary' was intended keep 'quite an extraordinary person'. Ensure article 'an' before vowel-starting adjective.

× So I like uh, holidays because, uh, there are some various type of places, uh, and uh, it's very memorable to collect us because it is very helpful for our mind and uh, uh, stress reduce my stress.

✓ So I like holidays because there are various types of places, and they are very memorable for us; they help our minds and reduce my stress.

Use 'various types' (plural) not 'some various type'. Use plural pronoun 'they' to refer to 'places' or 'holidays'. 'Collect us' is incorrect—use 'memorable for us'. Rearranged 'help our minds and reduce my stress' to be grammatical and clear.

× Umm, uh, well, umm, uh, Surat is a always, uh, public holiday like best because, uh, there are many, several beaches, river and uh, after that there's so many zoo and uh, it's uh, very, uh, uh, various type of mall.

✓ Well, Surat is always my favourite public holiday because there are many beaches and rivers; there are also several zoos and many different malls.

Remove unnecessary adverbs 'a always'. Use 'my favourite' instead of 'like best'. Use plural 'beaches and rivers'. 'So many zoo' should be 'several zoos' and 'various type of mall' should be 'many different malls' or 'various types of malls'.

× We are mall and uh, so many.

✓ We often go to malls a lot.

Original is ungrammatical. Use 'we often go to malls' or 'we go to many malls' to express frequency and quantity. Avoid redundant 'so many' without a noun.

× We are, well, I always do, uh, doing holidays going for village, uh, uh, village because it is a very traditional, uh, culture about theater.

✓ Well, I always spend holidays by going to the village because it has a very traditional theater culture.

Use 'I always spend holidays' rather than 'I always do doing holidays'. 'Going to the village' is the correct phrase. Use 'it has' to describe the village and 'traditional theater culture' for clarity.

× And after that, uh, my grandmother and my grandfather, they also stay, stay there.

✓ My grandmother and grandfather also stay there.

Avoid redundant pronoun 'they' after naming people; 'also stay there' is fine but in past contexts use 'stayed' if referring to past visits.

× So I always, uh, going to village.

✓ So I always go to the village.

Use the simple present 'go' for habitual actions; 'going' needs an auxiliary ('am going') which is incorrect for a habitual statement.

× Yes, I enjoy spending time 8, uh, at my home because I can relax and, uh, always, uh, most quality time with my son.

✓ Yes, I enjoy spending time at my home because I can relax and spend quality time with my son.

Remove the stray '8'. Use 'spend quality time' rather than 'most quality time'. Keep simple present 'enjoy' for general preference.

× Uh, umm, uh, with my son, uh, I often go to, I often go to out outdoor activities, uh, together, like going to park and some, uh, uh, some cycling are very useful for us.

✓ With my son, I often do outdoor activities together, like going to the park and cycling; these activities are very useful for us.

Use 'do outdoor activities' not 'go to out outdoor activities'. Include 'the park'. Use 'cycling' as a gerund and restructure sentence to be clear and grammatical. 'Some cycling are' should be 'cycling is' or 'these activities are'.

× I prefer leisure holiday because there are vacation time and it also so many so many days in my holidays.

✓ I prefer a leisurely holiday because there is vacation time and many days off during my holidays.

Use the adjective 'leisurely' and include the article 'a'. 'There is vacation time' for uncountable concept, and 'many days off' for plural days. Remove repetition 'so many so many'.

× So I think it's I I prefer less air time is the best time is in holiday.

✓ So I think a leisurely break is the best during a holiday.

Original is jumbled and ungrammatical. Rephrase concisely: 'a leisurely break is the best' fits the intended meaning. Avoid repeated words and unclear phrases like 'less air time'.

× I think, umm, I, I prefer peaceful holidays because, uh, there are so many memories collect us and uh, we are me and my friend always uh, fun together.

✓ I prefer peaceful holidays because they create many memories, and my friends and I always have fun together.

Use 'they' to refer to 'holidays'. 'Collect us' is incorrect; use 'create many memories'. Use 'my friends and I' for correct subject order and pronoun usage. Use present simple 'have fun' for habitual actions.

× So, uh, they have many pictures captured in my phone.

✓ We have many pictures saved on my phone.

'They have many pictures captured in my phone' is awkward; use 'we have many pictures saved on my phone' or 'I have many pictures on my phone'. 'Captured' is unnecessary; use 'saved' or 'taken'.

× Uh, so I think, uh, please peace holiday. It's.

✓ So I prefer a peaceful holiday.

Original is fragmented and includes 'please peace' which is incorrect. Use 'I prefer a peaceful holiday' to clearly state the preference.