Holidays— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct minor grammar/word choices. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (uh), correct word forms (south -> the south; taking sunbath -> sunbathing), and keep within 3–4 sentences. Add one specific detail (island name or activity) to strengthen content.

예시: I went to Qeshm, an island in the south of Iran, for my last holiday. It was a relaxing trip with my cousin, who is also my best friend. We spent every morning swimming in the sea and sunbathing on the beach, and in the afternoons we explored local markets.

제안: Organize your answer: start with a direct statement, give two clear reasons with linking words, and avoid unclear phrasing and emoticons. Correct grammar and use specific examples to illustrate why holidays feel special.

예시: Yes, I love holidays because they bring people together and create a festive atmosphere. For example, during Christmas or Norooz, streets and homes are decorated, and people meet friends and family, which makes life feel happier and more meaningful.

제안: Remove fillers and produce a clearer structure: topic sentence, two supporting details, and a short concluding remark. Replace vague phrases like "it's perfection" with specific descriptions of traditions. Use linking words for coherence.

예시: My favorite public holiday is Norooz, the Iranian New Year. It lasts for 13 days, during which families visit each other, exchange gifts, and enjoy special meals. Because it combines joyful gatherings with time to relax, Norooz feels both festive and restorative.

제안: Start with a clear statement and use linking words to connect reasons and activities. Shorten long sentences and correct word order ("I prefer to stay in town and visit friends"). Provide one specific activity to make the answer more vivid.

예시: I usually prefer to stay in my hometown during holidays because the roads are busy. Instead, I walk around the city, visit friends who stayed as well, and enjoy quiet cafés and local festivals.

제안: Refine the structure: begin with a clear direct answer, then give two concise reasons using linking words. Remove casual fillers like "kind of" and keep sentences compact. Provide a specific outdoor activity to add detail.

예시: Not really. Although I enjoy relaxing and doing yoga at home, I need to spend at least a couple of hours outside each day to feel balanced. For example, I often go for a short run in the park or meet a friend for coffee.

제안: Remove hesitation and correct grammar ("a balance lies in between" -> "a balance between"). Use one clear topic sentence and two supporting reasons with linking words. Be concise and give a specific example of how you balance activities.

예시: I prefer a balance between busy and leisurely holidays. For instance, I might spend mornings sightseeing and afternoons relaxing on the beach so I can do many activities without feeling exhausted.

제안: Answer directly and avoid fillers. Use linking words to contrast the two preferences and provide concrete examples of each type. Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition like "just" and "uh".

예시: I enjoy both types of holidays for different reasons. For excitement, I like going to parties and meeting new people, while for peace I prefer relaxing on the beach and having quiet meals with friends.

× I took a trip to an island located in South of Iran.

✓ I took a trip to an island located in the south of Iran.

Use the definite article 'the' with cardinal points when referring to specific regions (the south of Iran). Also 'south' should be lowercased here. Suggestion: say 'the south of Iran' or 'southern Iran.'

× we spent all our mornings swimming in the sea and taking sunbath.

✓ we spent all our mornings swimming in the sea and sunbathing.

The correct gerund for 'sunbathe' is 'sunbathing.' 'Taking sunbath' is ungrammatical. Use 'sunbathing' or 'taking a sunbath.'

× Yes, I love holidays, like even the ones that have nothing to do with me, like Christmas and even Hanukkah, because I think these are the time of year is that life seems more beautiful and people are happier and wherever you go you see a :).

✓ Yes, I love holidays, even those that are not related to me, such as Christmas and Hanukkah, because I think these times of year make life seem more beautiful and people appear happier wherever you go.

Sentence contains redundant filler 'like' and incorrect clause 'these are the time of year is that.' Correct structure: 'these times of year make life seem...' Remove emoticon and streamline. Use 'those' and 'such as' for examples and plural 'times of year.'

× It's a holiday in Iran that we celebrate New Year and umm, it lasts for 13 days and people go visit each other and give each other gifts and it's perfection.

✓ It's a holiday in Iran when we celebrate the New Year; it lasts for 13 days, people visit each other and give each other gifts, and it's perfect.

Use 'when' to introduce time and 'the New Year' with article. 'Go visit' should be 'visit' (no 'go') and 'perfection' is a noun used incorrectly; use adjective 'perfect.' Also punctuation improved for clarity.

× so I rather stay home and just go around the city and enjoy visiting my friends who decided to not leave the city as well as me.

✓ so I would rather stay home and just go around the city and enjoy visiting my friends who, like me, decide not to leave the city.

Use 'would rather' for preference. 'Decided to not leave' is awkward; use present 'decide not to leave' or 'who, like me, decided not to leave.' Reorder phrase 'as well as me' to 'like me.'

× If I don't take that time outside of the house, it will kind of drive me crazy to stay home all the time.

✓ If I don't spend that time outside the house, it kind of drives me crazy to stay home all the time.

Use 'spend time outside the house' (no 'of'). Tense consistency: prefer present simple 'drives' for habitual effect. 'Kind of' can remain informal but position adjusted.

× I like to find a balance lies in between leisure and busy.

✓ I like to find a balance between leisure and being busy.

Incorrect verb placement 'lies in between' after 'find a balance.' Correct phrasing: 'a balance between X and Y.' Use 'being busy' to parallel 'leisure.'

× I enjoy doing a lot of things and I would like to make time for doing all those things that I enjoy, but at sometimes I just want to sit back and relax.

✓ I enjoy doing a lot of things and I would like to make time for all those activities I enjoy, but sometimes I just want to sit back and relax.

Remove redundant 'doing' and correct 'at sometimes' to 'sometimes.' Keep tense consistent present simple. Suggest using 'activities' for variety.

× I would like to go partying, clubbing, meeting new people, umm, and I also enjoy just, uh, relaxing at the beach or just having peaceful meals with my companions.

✓ I would like to go partying, clubbing and meet new people, and I also enjoy relaxing at the beach or having peaceful meals with my companions.

Maintain parallel verb forms: use either all -ing forms or base verbs. 'Go partying, clubbing and meet' mixes forms; better: 'go partying, go clubbing and meet' or 'go partying, clubbing and meeting' but parallelism improved as above.