History— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is informative but a bit lengthy and slightly repetitive. Try to make your response more concise and natural by directly answering the question first, then adding one or two supporting details. Also, avoid redundancy such as 'started history in my student life' and 'during my school times' which convey similar ideas.

예시: Yes, I have studied history since primary school, as it was a compulsory subject until grade 10. Later, I also included history in my master's degree program.

제안: Your answer is clear but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'with regard to to learning history' and 'channels which I found very interesting on his.' Try to use simpler, correct sentences and link your ideas smoothly. Also, avoid redundancy and be more specific about the channels or types of content you watch.

예시: Currently, I don't have much time to read history books, so I usually learn from YouTube channels that offer interesting history documentaries and lectures.

제안: Your answer has good points but lacks specific examples and contains some awkward phrasing like 'earn knowledge and apply to their own lives.' Try to use clearer expressions and provide concrete examples or reasons to support your points. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

예시: Learning history helps people understand their country's past and the world's events. For example, by studying past wars, we can learn the importance of peace and avoid repeating mistakes.

제안: Your answer repeats ideas from the previous question and ends abruptly with 'apply them to his.' To improve, avoid repetition and complete your sentences fully. Provide specific reasons why history is important and use linking words to make your answer coherent.

예시: Yes, learning history is important because it helps us understand past global events and their impact. This knowledge allows us to make better decisions in the present and avoid repeating past mistakes.

× Yes, I have started history in my student life.

✓ Yes, I started studying history in my student life.

The present perfect tense 'have started' is incorrectly used here because the action refers to a past period that is completed. Also, 'started history' is awkward; 'started studying history' is clearer.

× During my school times, history was one of the compulsory subjects in my school curriculum from Class 1 to 10 and after my undergraduation I enrolled in a masters which included history.

✓ During my school years, history was one of the compulsory subjects in my school curriculum from Class 1 to 10, and after my undergraduate studies, I enrolled in a master's program which included history.

'School times' is incorrect; 'school years' is the proper phrase. 'Undergraduation' should be 'undergraduate studies'. 'Masters' should be 'master's program' to indicate the degree.

× At present I don't get enough time to read books to learn about history.

✓ At present, I don't have enough time to read books to learn about history.

The phrase 'don't get enough time' is less natural; 'don't have enough time' is the correct expression to indicate lack of time.

× Therefore I usually depend on the Internet, specifically on YouTube with regard to to learning history and I follow many channels which I found very interesting on his.

✓ Therefore, I usually depend on the Internet, specifically on YouTube for learning history, and I follow many channels which I find very interesting on this.

The phrase 'with regard to to learning history' is incorrect; 'for learning history' is appropriate. 'I found' should be 'I find' to match present tense. 'on his' is incorrect; likely meant 'on this'.

× Firstly, history can teach an individual about his own nation as well as the whole world too.

✓ Firstly, history can teach an individual about their own nation as well as the whole world too.

Using 'his' assumes gender; 'their' is a gender-neutral singular pronoun appropriate here.

× Secondly, from history people can earn knowledge and apply to their own lives.

✓ Secondly, from history, people can gain knowledge and apply it to their own lives.

The verb 'earn' is less appropriate than 'gain' for knowledge. Also, 'apply to their own lives' is incomplete; it should be 'apply it to their own lives'.

× Yes, I think learning history is important because by learning history an individual can gain knowledge about the global incidents which happened before.

✓ Yes, I think learning history is important because by learning history an individual can gain knowledge about global incidents that happened before.

'The global incidents' is incorrect because 'global incidents' is a general concept and does not require 'the'. Also, 'which happened before' is better as 'that happened before'.

× Furthermore, he can also earn knowledge and apply them to his.

✓ Furthermore, he can also gain knowledge and apply it to himself.

'Earn knowledge' should be 'gain knowledge'. 'Apply them to his' is incomplete and incorrect; it should be 'apply it to himself' to correctly use the reflexive pronoun.