Money— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear but could be improved by making it more concise and natural. Avoid redundancy such as "returned it back" (just "returned" is enough). Also, try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide a clearer structure with a topic sentence followed by supporting details.

예시: Yes, I have borrowed money before. For example, in high school, I borrowed 20 pesos from a classmate. I considered that amount quite significant at the time. I returned the money a few days later with an extra 5 pesos as a thank you.

제안: Your answer needs clearer structure and more precise language. Avoid redundancy like "returned back" and improve coherence by using linking words such as "however" or "but". Also, clarify your points with specific examples and avoid vague phrases like "most of them they borrowed money" which is unclear.

예시: Yes, I have lent money to others several times. Some people returned the money after a few months; however, others did not repay me, such as in 2018 when a friend borrowed money but never returned it.

× Some will return the money after a couple of months and most of them they borrowed money, but they never returned back my money like in 2018.

✓ Some will return the money after a couple of months, but most of them borrowed money and never returned my money, like in 2018.

The phrase 'most of them they borrowed money' is redundant and incorrectly structured. Also, 'returned back' is redundant because 'return' already implies 'back'. The sentence should be corrected to avoid redundancy and to properly coordinate the clauses.