Money— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and informal contractions (e.g., "wanna"). Also correct plural/singular errors ("people" not "peoples").

예시: Yes, I have borrowed money from others. For example, last week I asked my sister for five dollars because I didn’t have enough cash to buy a snack. In general, I only borrow small amounts and I always plan to pay them back within a few days.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then explain with a specific example. Use correct possessive and plural forms, and keep sentences concise. Use linking words (for example, however) to show contrast when describing outcomes.

예시: Yes, I have lent money to friends before. For example, I lent twenty dollars to a classmate last month, but unfortunately she didn’t pay me back because she assumed I wouldn’t mind. As a result, I now prefer to lend only small amounts or ask for a repayment date.

× I have borrowed money from other peoples because I really need the money to buy the stuff that I really want to buy.

✓ I have borrowed money from other people because I really needed the money to buy things that I really wanted to buy.

'Peoples' is incorrect plural; the correct plural of 'person' is 'people'. Also 'the stuff' is informal and uncountable here; use 'things'. Additionally, tense consistency: the speaker refers to past occasions of borrowing, so past forms ('needed', 'wanted') make the sentence clearer. Suggestion: replace 'peoples' with 'people', 'the stuff' with 'things', and use past tense when referring to specific past actions.

× Like last time I borrowed money is because I wanna buy a candy because I don't have enough money in my wallet.

✓ For example, the last time I borrowed money was because I wanted to buy a candy since I didn't have enough money in my wallet.

'Wanna' is informal and nonstandard; use 'wanted' for past intention. The original mixes present and past tenses ('last time... is' should be 'was'). Also 'because I don't have' should be 'I didn't have' to match past time. Use 'since' or 'because' consistently. Suggestion: maintain past tense when describing past events and avoid informal contractions like 'wanna'.

× I would say yes, I lent money to other people's but my friends just didn't give back the money to me because she thinks that I need to give them the money.

✓ I would say yes. I lent money to other people, but my friends didn't give the money back to me because they thought I should give the money to them.

Several issues: 'other people's' is incorrect use of possessive apostrophe; use 'other people' (plural noun) instead. Word order 'give back the money to me' is better as 'give the money back to me'. Pronoun disagreement: 'my friends' is plural, so subsequent pronouns and verbs must be plural ('she thinks' is incorrect; use 'they thought'). Tense consistency: use past tense 'thought' to match 'lent' and 'didn't'. Suggestion: remove the apostrophe, fix word order, and ensure pronoun-verb agreement and consistent past tense.