Money— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện điểm ngữ pháp, thì và trật tự từ; trả lời trực tiếp hơn, rõ ràng hơn với một câu chủ đề và tối đa 3–4 câu hỗ trợ. Sử dụng thì quá khứ khi nói về một sự kiện đã xảy ra, tránh lặp từ và sửa lỗi collocation (ví dụ: “borrow money from someone”, “pay for a phone”). Thêm chi tiết cụ thể về số tiền, thời gian hoặc cảm xúc để làm câu trả lời phong phú hơn. Ví dụ cụ thể: nêu thời điểm (năm hoặc độ tuổi), khoảng tiền, và kết quả (trả lại tiền hay không).

예시: Yes, I have. When I was 18 I borrowed $200 from my parents to buy a new smartphone because my old one broke. I promised to pay them back from my first month’s salary, and I repaid them three months later. It taught me to budget more carefully.

제안: Cải thiện tính rõ ràng và trôi chảy: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề trực tiếp (“Yes” hoặc “No”), dùng từ vựng chính xác (ví dụ “repay” thay cho “bring back”), loại bỏ tiếng ồn (uh) và sửa lặp từ. Bổ sung 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể: ví dụ bạn cho vay ai, bao nhiêu, điều kiện hoàn trả, và kết quả. Dùng liên từ để nối ý rõ ràng hơn.

예시: Yes, I sometimes lend money to close friends. I usually set clear terms, such as the amount and a repayment date, because I want to avoid misunderstandings. For instance, last year I lent $50 to a roommate and we agreed he would repay me within two weeks.

× Of course I borrow money from a number.

✓ Of course I borrow money from a number of people.

The sentence is missing the object 'of people' after 'a number' to make the phrase 'a number of people', which is the correct noun phrase. Without it, the meaning is unclear. Suggestion: use 'a number of people' or simply 'people'.

× People are essentially my parents.

✓ My parents are the people I rely on.

The original sentence uses 'People are essentially my parents' which confuses subject and complement; it sounds like many people are his parents. Rephrase to clarify meaning. Suggestion: place 'my parents' as subject or say 'I rely on my parents'.

× I remember that's the time when I have to afford my phone, so I borrow money from my parents to afford it.

✓ I remember that was the time when I had to pay for my phone, so I borrowed money from my parents to afford it.

This sentence mixes present tense ('have to', 'borrow') with past ('I remember'). The events being recalled should be in the past: use past tense 'had to' and 'borrowed'. Also 'afford' is better expressed as 'pay for' in this context. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense when describing past events.

× Just, uh, to be honest, I'm quite financially savvy so when I lend money to others I have to calculate the the bring back days.

✓ To be honest, I'm quite financially savvy, so when I lend money to others I calculate the days for repayment.

The original mixes awkward phrasing and has a duplicate 'the the' and ungrammatical 'bring back days'. 'I have to calculate' is acceptable but 'I calculate' is more natural. 'Days for repayment' or 'repayment schedule' is the correct phrase. Suggestion: remove filler words and use clear nouns like 'repayment'.