App— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答が少し冗長で、文法的な誤りもあります。例えば、「I'm live in France」は「I live in France」が正しいです。また、同じ内容の繰り返しを避け、より自然な表現を心がけましょう。

예시: I have recently used several social media apps such as Instagram, Line, and especially WhatsApp. I often use WhatsApp because I live in France, and most of my friends use it to keep in touch.

제안: 文法の誤りと不自然な表現があります。例えば、「I can't check my friends lives」は「I can check my friends' lives」が正しいです。また、理由を述べる際に接続詞を使い、内容を明確にしましょう。

예시: I am usually interested in social media apps because I can check my friends' lives and interests. Moreover, I often learn about trends from their posts or stories, which I find very important.

제안: 文法の誤りが多く、意味が伝わりにくい部分があります。例えば、「in innovation technology」は不自然で、「innovative technology」が適切です。また、繰り返しを避け、より簡潔に表現しましょう。

예시: I usually learn about new apps from my friends because they are very trendy and knowledgeable about useful apps and innovative technology. Therefore, they often introduce different apps to me.

제안: 内容が不明瞭で、文法的な誤りも多いです。「healthier hair up」は意味が通じません。健康管理に関するアプリを使いたいという意図であれば、明確に表現しましょう。

예시: In the future, I would like to use health-related apps to monitor my well-being. As I get older, I want to prevent health problems and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

× I I have recently used a lot of social media like Instagram line or WhatsApp especially.

✓ I have recently used a lot of social media apps like Instagram, Line, or WhatsApp especially.

The word 'social media' is uncountable, so 'a lot of social media' is incorrect. It should be 'a lot of social media apps' to indicate countable items. Also, app names should be capitalized and separated by commas.

× I often use WhatsApp because I'm live in France and most of my friends use WhatsApp to get in touch with my friends.

✓ I often use WhatsApp because I live in France and most of my friends use WhatsApp to get in touch with me.

The phrase 'I'm live in France' is incorrect; it should be 'I live in France' without 'am'. Also, 'get in touch with my friends' is redundant since the speaker is the subject; it should be 'get in touch with me.'

× I often use WhatsApp because I'm live in France and most of my friends use WhatsApp to get in touch with my friends.

✓ I often use WhatsApp because I live in France and most of my friends use WhatsApp to get in touch with me.

Using 'my friends' twice is redundant and confusing. The correct pronoun here is 'me' because the friends are contacting the speaker.

× I I am usually interested in social media because I can't check my friends lives and my friends interest.

✓ I am usually interested in social media because I can check my friends' lives and my friends' interests.

The phrase 'can't check' contradicts the intended meaning; it should be 'can check'. Also, possessive apostrophes are needed in 'friends' lives' and 'friends' interests' to show possession.

× I always learn trendy from my friend's post or stories.

✓ I always learn trends from my friends' posts or stories.

'Trendy' is an adjective, but the noun 'trends' is needed here. Also, 'friend's' should be plural possessive 'friends'' because multiple posts or stories are implied.

× I usually find out different apps from my friends.

✓ I usually find out about different apps from my friends.

The verb 'find out' is usually followed by 'about' when referring to discovering information about something.

× So I my friends always teach me the different apps.

✓ So my friends always teach me about different apps.

The phrase 'I my friends' is incorrect; it should be 'my friends'. Also, 'teach me the different apps' is better as 'teach me about different apps' to indicate learning information.

× I would like to use healthier hair up in the future.

✓ I would like to use a healthier hair care app in the future.

'Healthier hair up' is unclear and incorrect. It likely means 'healthier hair care app'. Adding 'a' and clarifying the noun is necessary.

× In the future I became I will become older and I may get a lot of some health problems so I have to control my body to not to become any cancers like some.

✓ In the future, I will become older and I may get some health problems, so I have to take care of my body to avoid getting cancer.

'I became' is past tense and incorrect here; 'I will become' is future tense. 'A lot of some health problems' is redundant; 'some health problems' is correct. 'Control my body to not to become any cancers like some' is awkward; 'take care of my body to avoid getting cancer' is clearer and grammatically correct.