App— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答はやや冗長で、文法的な誤りもあります。例えば、「about about」の繰り返しや、文のつながりが不自然です。より自然で効果的な回答にするために、簡潔にし、接続詞を使って論理的に話を展開しましょう。

예시: I have recently used social media apps like WhatsApp and Instagram. I often use them to keep in touch with my friends and discuss plans for classes or weekends.

제안: 文法ミス（"I usually interested"は"I am usually interested"が正しい）や不自然な表現があります。また、内容がやや曖昧で具体性に欠けます。接続詞を使い、具体的な理由や例を加えて話を豊かにしましょう。

예시: I am usually interested in Instagram because it helps me plan my weekends, such as visiting new places or seeing where my friends live.

제안: 文法的な誤りや冗長な表現があります（"my chat their friends"は意味不明）。また、話の流れが少し不自然です。より明確で簡潔な表現を心がけ、接続詞を使って論理的に説明しましょう。

예시: I usually learn about new apps from my friends. For example, when I came to France, my friends used WhatsApp to chat with others, so I started using it too.

제안: 文法ミス（"healthcare up"は"healthcare app"、"would be become"は"will become"など）や冗長な表現があります。より自然で簡潔な表現を使い、理由を明確に述べましょう。

예시: In the future, I would like to use a healthcare app because as I get older, I need to take better care of my body. An app that helps manage health would be very useful.

× I often get in touch with my friends by using social media.

✓ I often get in touch with my friends using social media.

The phrase 'by using' is unnecessary here; 'using' alone is sufficient to express the means. Removing 'by' makes the sentence more natural and grammatically correct.

× So I'd like to talk about about the class or weekend plan.

✓ So I'd like to talk about the class or weekend plan.

The word 'about' is repeated twice, which is incorrect. Only one 'about' is needed before the object of the verb 'talk'.

× I usually interested in Instagram.

✓ I am usually interested in Instagram.

The verb 'interested' requires a form of 'to be' as a linking verb. The sentence is missing 'am' to be grammatically correct in the present tense.

× By using Instagram I can make the plan of weekends like visiting anywhere or my friends local lives.

✓ By using Instagram, I can make weekend plans like visiting places or my friends' local homes.

The phrase 'make the plan of weekends' is unnatural; 'make weekend plans' is correct. Also, 'visiting anywhere' is vague; 'visiting places' is better. 'My friends local lives' is incorrect; it should be 'my friends' local homes' with possessive apostrophe and correct noun.

× I usually find out the new app from my friends.

✓ I usually find out about new apps from my friends.

The phrase 'find out the new app' is incorrect; 'find out about new apps' is the correct expression. Also, 'app' should be plural 'apps' to match 'new' in general sense.

× For example, when I came to France, my friends were using WhatsApp to chat with my chat their friends online.

✓ For example, when I came to France, my friends were using WhatsApp to chat with their friends online.

The phrase 'my chat their friends' is incorrect and redundant. It should be 'their friends' to indicate possession correctly.

× So now I'm using WhatsApp as well to chat with my friends online.

✓ So now I'm using WhatsApp as well to chat with my friends online.

This sentence is grammatically correct and needs no correction.

× I would like to use healthcare up in the future because I would be become older and I have to care of my body in the future.

✓ I would like to use a healthcare app in the future because I will become older and I have to take care of my body in the future.

The phrase 'healthcare up' is a typo; it should be 'healthcare app'. 'Would be become' is incorrect; 'will become' is correct future tense. Also, 'care of my body' should be 'take care of my body'.

× So if there is the application which we can manage our body, I would like to use that application.

✓ So if there is an application that we can use to manage our body, I would like to use that application.

The phrase 'the application' is incorrect here; 'an application' is appropriate as it refers to any such app. Also, 'which we can manage our body' is awkward; 'that we can use to manage our body' is clearer and grammatically correct.