Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Improve grammatical accuracy and fluency: use a clear topic sentence and concise phrasing. Remove repetition ("as a salesman" repeated) and correct verb forms ("I'm working now" → "I work"). Keep answer to 1–2 sentences and add a brief detail if needed.

Exemplo: I work full time as a salesman for a private company. I visit customers regularly to promote our products.

Sugestão: Organize answer with a topic sentence, use linking words and correct verb forms. Be specific about location and routine; avoid awkward phrasing ("come out to visit"). Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like "and" or "then."

Exemplo: I work in the field as a sales representative, so I visit customers every day to demonstrate our products and encourage purchases. Every Friday I return to the office for a meeting and to submit my sales report to my manager.

Sugestão: Make your opinion clear with a concise topic sentence and support it with specific reasons using correct grammar. Use linking words like "because" and avoid unclear phrases like "a new sense." Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, it's a great place to work because the job lets me travel to different areas and meet new customers. I enjoy the variety since every day brings new experiences.

Sugestão: Provide a clear topic sentence and specific, natural descriptions. Correct prepositions and count nouns ("faces some green trees"). Use linking words if needed and avoid repetition ("green plants"). Keep answer to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I really like it. My office is near a park and faces some large trees, so I can enjoy greenery and fresh air every day.

Sugestão: Clarify your main plan with a clear topic sentence and use simple, correct grammar. State one or two specific goals and a timeline, using linking words such as "first" or "then." Avoid confusing references to others ("I have a friend...").

Exemplo: My main plan is to work harder and gain more experience so that within a year I can be promoted to sales manager. Later, I'd like to rent a space and start my own business.

× I'm working now. At the moment I'm as a salesman as a full time salesman in a private company.

✓ I'm working now. At the moment I'm a full-time salesman in a private company.

Using 'I'm as a salesman as a full time salesman' is ungrammatical. Replace 'as a salesman as a full time salesman' with 'a full-time salesman'. Use the article 'a' before the job title and hyphenate 'full-time' when used as an adjective. This matches the present continuous context 'I'm working now.'

× As a salesman, every day I come out to visit the customer and to show our product and in introduce our product to encouraging them to buy something from me.

✓ As a salesman, every day I go out to visit customers, show our products, and introduce them to encourage customers to buy from me.

Problems: 'come out to visit the customer' should be 'go out to visit customers' (preposition and plural). 'show our product and in introduce our product' contains extra words and wrong structure; combine verbs in parallel: 'show our products and introduce them'. 'to encouraging' is wrong form; use infinitive 'to encourage'. Also use plural 'customers' and 'products' for general statements. Maintain simple present for habitual actions.

× But every Friday I will go to the company to get a meeting, do the sales report to my boss.

✓ But every Friday I go to the company for meetings and to give a sales report to my boss.

Using 'will' for habitual actions is inappropriate; use simple present 'I go' for routine events. 'to get a meeting' is unnatural; use 'for meetings'. 'do the sales report to my boss' should be 'give a sales report to my boss' or 'prepare and submit a sales report to my boss'. Use consistent parallel structure.

× Yes, it's very good. I like this kind of job because I'm go to many places, any area to visit different customers.

✓ Yes, it's very good. I like this kind of job because I go to many places and visit different customers in various areas.

'I'm go' is incorrect; use simple present 'I go' for habitual actions. 'any area to visit different customers' is awkward; rephrase to 'visit different customers in various areas' for clarity and correct preposition usage.

× Just give me everyday is a new sense is a very good sense for me.

✓ Every day is a new experience, which is very good for me.

Original sentence has confusing structure and incorrect word choice 'sense'. Use 'Every day is a new experience' for the intended meaning. Replace 'is a very good sense for me' with 'which is very good for me' to join clauses correctly.

× I really love this place. My company is near to the park and my office is also face to 1 green trees.

✓ I really love this place. My company is near the park and my office faces some green trees.

'near to the park' is better as 'near the park' (omit 'to'). 'is also face to 1 green trees' is ungrammatical: use 'my office faces some green trees' (verb 'faces' and plural 'trees'). Remove the numeral '1' and use 'some' for natural speech.

× Every day I sit over there I can see some great plants, green plants.

✓ When I sit there every day, I can see some lovely green plants.

Sentence needs a subordinating conjunction for clarity: 'When I sit there every day, I can see...'. 'over there' can be simplified to 'there'. Use adjective 'lovely' or keep 'great' but avoid repetition 'plants, green plants' by combining to 'green plants'.

× I have a friend in my company is like that to work hard and meet more customers and can you do one year and become the manager about the salesman and the loan plan is I wanted to rent my own business.

✓ I have a friend at my company who works hard to meet more customers; in one year I hope to become a sales manager. I also plan to rent my own business premises to start my own business.

Original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Use a relative clause 'who works hard' for 'a friend...'. Separate ideas into clear sentences: career goal (become a sales manager) and business plan (rent premises to start own business). Replace 'can you do one year' with 'in one year I hope to'. 'manager about the salesman' should be 'sales manager'. Clarify 'loan plan' and 'rent my own business' to 'plan to rent premises to start my own business'.