Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Shorten and structure the response: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid long repetition and redundant phrases like “the world is going through.” Use linking words to connect ideas.

Exemplo: I work. I run an online business that teaches people about environmental problems and practical ways to reduce their impact. For example, I create short courses on reducing plastic use and offer step-by-step guides, which helps learners take immediate action.

Sugestão: Provide a concise topic sentence then add one specific detail and a linking word. Correct minor grammar (e.g., "is online based" → "is online-based"; "so I dedicated" → "so I have dedicated").

Exemplo: I mainly work from home because my business is online-based. I have dedicated a room in my apartment as an office, but occasionally I work from a café or co‑working space to get a change of scenery.

Sugestão: Be more concise and formal: avoid contractions and slang like "gotta." Use one or two clear reasons and link them with connectors. Fix grammar: "stress free" → "stress-free" and avoid repetition.

Exemplo: Yes, it is a great place to work because it is comfortable and stress‑free. Moreover, working from home allows me to spend more time with my family and pets, whereas commuting to an office would take up several hours each day.

Sugestão: Keep the answer focused and avoid long emotional statements. Start with a clear opinion, give one brief reason, and avoid run‑on sentences. Replace vague phrases with concrete plans and correct tense and redundancy.

Exemplo: Yes, I like my workplace because it gives me flexibility and control over my schedule. Although running a business is challenging, I am committed to improving steadily and achieving my long‑term goals.

Sugestão: Use a clear topic sentence with correct grammar ("plans are" not "plans is") and avoid filler words like "uh." Give two specific, realistic objectives with linking words and correct phrasing (e.g., "attract contributors" rather than "attract writers to write for me").

Exemplo: My future plan is to develop my online business into a well‑recognized media outlet focused on environmental and green living. Specifically, I want to recruit expert contributors to produce articles and expand our product line so that we can attract more customers.

× 'Yes, I work.'

✓ 'Yes, I work.'

'Yes, I work.' is grammatically correct and matches the question. No correction needed.

× 'I have my own online business which is specialized in teaching people about the current environmental issues the world is going through, while also teaching them about tips and tricks they can follow to make a positive impact on the surrounding environment.'

✓ 'I have my own online business which is specialized in teaching people about the current environmental issues the world is facing, while also teaching them tips and tricks they can follow to make a positive impact on the surrounding environment.'

'Issues' is fine (plural) but the phrase "the world is going through" is awkward; "the world is facing" is more idiomatic. Also "teaching them about tips and tricks" contains an unnecessary preposition "about" before "tips and tricks". This correction preserves plurality and improves verb choice and preposition use. Suggestion: use "facing" for problems encountered and omit "about" when followed by nouns like "tips and tricks".

× 'I work from home since my business is online based, all I need is a computer and an Internet connection, so I dedicated a room inside my apartment to be my office.'

✓ 'I work from home since my business is online-based; all I need is a computer and an Internet connection, so I dedicated a room in my apartment to be my office.'

'Online based' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before a noun: "online-based." The original is a run-on sentence; replace the comma with a semicolon to separate independent clauses. "Inside my apartment" is not incorrect but "in my apartment" is more natural. Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives and use proper clause separation.

× 'However, sometimes I work from a cafe as well or a shared office when I want to change my environment a little bit.'

✓ 'However, sometimes I also work from a café or from a shared office when I want to change my environment a little.'

'As well' at the end is informal; "also" before the verb is cleaner. Use consistent parallel prepositions: "from a café or from a shared office." "Cafe" should be accented as "café" in formal writing or left as "cafe" informally. "A little bit" is colloquial; "a little" is sufficient. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and prefer concise adverbials.

× 'Yes it's a great place to work from home since it's a very comfortable and stress free.'

✓ 'Yes, it's a great place to work from home since it's very comfortable and stress-free.'

"Stress free" as an adjective before a noun should be hyphenated: "stress-free." The article "a" before the adjectives is unnecessary when using adjectives predicatively after "is": say "it's very comfortable and stress-free," not "it's a very comfortable and stress free." Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives and remove unnecessary articles.

× 'Also it gives me the opportunity to be close to my cats and my family for as long as possible as opposed to working from office.'

✓ 'Also, it gives me the opportunity to be close to my cats and my family for as long as possible, as opposed to working in an office.'

Use commas to separate clauses for clarity. The phrase "working from office" is unidiomatic; use "working in an office." Suggestion: add commas and correct preposition to "in."

× 'You have to commute to and from there and it takes a lot of time which slips away the time you gotta spend with your family or your best friend.'

✓ 'You have to commute to and from there, and it takes a lot of time, which takes away the time you should spend with your family or your best friend.'

"Gotta" is informal speech; replace with "should" or "could" depending on tone. "Slips away the time you gotta spend" is awkward; "takes away the time you should spend" is clearer. Add commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: avoid slang in formal responses and choose clearer verbs like "takes away."

× 'Yes, I like the place where I work, although it can be very challenging and it's full of ups and downs, but I was willing to take on that challenge and just jump on the journey until the end and I promised myself that I will make it someday and make my dreams come true.'

✓ 'Yes, I like the place where I work. Although it can be very challenging and full of ups and downs, I was willing to take on that challenge and embark on the journey until the end, and I promised myself that I would make it someday and make my dreams come true.'

The original is a long run-on sentence; split into shorter sentences and correct tense consistency. "Jump on the journey" is informal; "embark on the journey" is more appropriate. Use past tense 'would' after 'promised' (reported speech/sequence of tenses) rather than 'will.' Suggestion: break run-ons, maintain tense sequence, and use more idiomatic verbs.

× 'My future work plans is for my online business to be a well recognized media outlet uh, for environment and green living in general.'

✓ 'My future work plans are for my online business to be a well-recognized media outlet for the environment and green living in general.'

Subject-verb agreement: "plans" is plural, so use "are" not "is." "Well recognized" should be hyphenated as "well-recognized." Add 'the' before "environment" for correctness. Remove filler 'uh.' Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with the subject and hyphenate compound modifiers.

× 'I am willing to attract more writers to write for me to share their expertise and also customers who will are willing to buy our products and our suggestion products as well.'

✓ 'I am looking to attract more writers to write for me and share their expertise, and also customers who are willing to buy our products and recommended items.'

The clause "customers who will are willing" has incorrect word order; use "customers who are willing." "Willing to attract" is awkward — "looking to attract" or "planning to attract" is better. "Suggestion products" is unclear; use "recommended items" or "our suggested products." Suggestion: correct auxiliary placement, choose clearer verbs, and use appropriate noun phrases.