Hometown— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your hometown, then add one brief detail. Avoid repetition and fix word order errors (e.g., "It is a small city in Bangladesh").

Exemplo: I’m originally from Madhuripur, a small town in Bangladesh. Currently I live in Old Dhaka for work, which is much busier than my hometown.

Sugestão: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence then specific supporting details. Reduce filler words ("uh") and avoid repetition. Use linking words (e.g., "for example", "also") to connect ideas and provide one or two concrete examples of the community features.

Exemplo: What I like most about my hometown is its strong sense of community. For example, neighbours often help each other during festivals and everyone knows one another, so life feels safe and relaxed.

Sugestão: Answer the question directly with a time period first, then add one short reason or detail. Correct grammar ("for the last few years") and avoid unrelated or unclear phrases ("during the IT"). Keep to two sentences max.

Exemplo: I have lived in Old Dhaka for the last three years. It’s quite bustling, especially during festivals, which makes life lively but sometimes stressful.

Sugestão: Start with a clear opinion (yes/no/partly) and support it with two specific points: one positive and one negative. Remove fillers and correct phrases ("advantages and advantages" → "advantages and disadvantages"; "fewer job opportunities").

Exemplo: Partly — my hometown is good for young people who prefer a calm, peaceful life because it’s safe and community-oriented. However, it offers fewer job and career opportunities, so many young people move to bigger cities for work.

× My hometown is in Madhuripur, but I currently live in Old Dhaka. It is a city a small city in Bangladesh.

✓ My hometown is in Madhuripur, but I currently live in Old Dhaka. It is a small city in Bangladesh.

The original sentence contains a repeated noun phrase 'a city a small city' which is redundant and breaks sentence structure (type 26). Remove the extra words to make it 'It is a small city in Bangladesh.' This yields a clear, grammatical sentence. Suggestion: Read the sentence aloud to spot repeated phrases and eliminate redundancy.

× Uh, I like the most about my hometown is that the, uh, simple life and the community it has, uh, it has a small, it is a small community oriented hometown where everyone knows everyone and life is a bit slow paced there. Everyone is, uh.

✓ What I like most about my hometown is the simple life and the sense of community. It is a small, community-oriented town where everyone knows each other and life is a bit slow-paced.

The sentence had misplaced pronoun/phrase order and repetitions causing unclear reference (type 12 and 26). 'I like the most about my hometown is that the...' is ungrammatical; use 'What I like most about my hometown is...'. Also 'community oriented' needs a hyphen and 'everyone knows everyone' is better as 'everyone knows each other.' Remove filler words. Suggestion: Use 'what' to introduce a clause describing a preference and replace repetitions with concise noun phrases.

× I have been living in this city for last few years and I it is very bustling and busy sometimes and during the IT is a bit of a roller coaster bearing the festivals but it is a part and parcel of living in a city like this.

✓ I have been living in this city for the last few years. It is very bustling and busy sometimes, and during festivals it is a bit of a roller coaster, but that is part and parcel of living in a city like this.

Multiple issues: missing definite article 'the' before 'last few years' (type 22), a stray 'I', awkward clause 'during the IT is a bit of a roller coaster bearing the festivals' (sentence structure errors type 26), and punctuation problems. Rewrite as two sentences: use present perfect continuous correctly 'I have been living... for the last few years.' Clarify the festival clause: 'during festivals it is a bit of a roller coaster.' Suggestion: Use 'for the last few years' with 'the' and break long run-on sentences into shorter ones for clarity.

× There are advantages and advantages for young people at my hometown, uh, like it is a very calm and peaceful environment.

✓ There are advantages and disadvantages for young people in my hometown. For example, it is a very calm and peaceful environment.

The original repeats 'advantages and advantages' and uses incorrect preposition 'at my hometown' (type 22 and 11). Use 'in my hometown.' Also contrast requires 'advantages and disadvantages.' Suggestion: Choose correct contrasting words and use 'in' for locations (in my hometown).

× So people who like it that way, it is good for them, but it lacks, uh, lacks a variety of career opportunity or it has less, uh, less offers of uh, age.

✓ So for people who prefer that lifestyle, it is good for them, but it lacks a variety of career opportunities and has fewer job prospects.

Problems: awkward clause 'people who like it that way, it is good for them' (sentence structure type 26), 'lacks a variety of career opportunity' uses singular 'opportunity' instead of plural 'opportunities' (type 1), and 'has less... offers' should be 'has fewer job prospects' (quantifier and word choice issues type 14 and 11). Use 'fewer' with countable nouns and plural form 'opportunities.' Suggestion: Use plural nouns for multiple opportunities and 'fewer' for countable items; rephrase for clarity.