Hometown— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer is relevant and clear but could be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking phrase. Avoid unnecessary formal labels like “Global Financial City” unless you explain why that matters to you.

Exemplo: I’m from Shanghai, a major international city. For example, the Bund shows the old colonial architecture while Pudong’s skyline has modern skyscrapers, which makes the city visually diverse.

Sugestão: The idea is good but the sentence is long and slightly awkward. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific example and use linking words to improve cohesion. Correct grammar (remove repetition) and keep it within 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: I like the public transport in my hometown because it’s fast and convenient. For instance, multiple metro lines and frequent buses let me reach work and friends quickly, saving a lot of time.

Sugestão: Good direct response and personal detail. To improve, combine the ideas into a concise two-sentence reply and add a brief specific memory to make it more vivid.

Exemplo: I have lived here for over 25 years, since childhood. For example, I used to play in the local park near my school, which is a memory I still cherish.

Sugestão: You answer directly but it sounds general and slightly repetitive. Provide one or two concrete reasons or examples and use a linking word to connect your points. Avoid vague phrases like “high income” without context.

Exemplo: Yes, definitely. Because Shanghai hosts many multinational companies and startups, young people can find diverse jobs and build careers quickly, which often leads to better living standards.

× My hometown is a big city, so I can easily choose from different fast and convenient transportation options make it possible for me to go wherever I want without much difficulty.

✓ My hometown is a big city, so I can easily choose from different fast and convenient transportation options, which make it possible for me to go wherever I want without much difficulty.

The original sentence combines two clauses incorrectly: 'choose from different ... options make it possible' lacks a connector or correct relative pronoun. This is a sentence structure error. Use a relative pronoun 'which' to refer to 'transportation options' and connect the clauses. Also add a comma before 'which'. Suggestion: Break into two sentences or use a relative clause: '...transportation options. This makes it possible...' or '...transportation options, which make it possible...'. This keeps subject-verb agreement and clarity.

× For young people, they have access to more job opportunities which allow them to earn a high income and enjoy a better quality of life.

✓ For young people, there is access to more job opportunities, which allows them to earn a higher income and enjoy a better quality of life.

The sentence has a pronoun redundancy and subject-verb agreement issues. Starting with 'For young people, they...' repeats the subject. Also 'job opportunities' (plural) followed by 'allow' is acceptable, but after changing structure to 'there is access to more job opportunities' the relative clause should agree with 'access' or 'opportunities'. Using 'which allows them' refers to 'access' (singular). Alternatively keep 'opportunities, which allow them...' but then remove the redundant 'they'. Also 'high income' is less natural than 'higher income' in comparative context. Suggestions: Either 'Young people have access to more job opportunities, which allow them to earn higher incomes...' or 'For young people, there is access to more job opportunities, which allows them to earn a higher income...'.