Snacks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct and natural: start with a clear topic sentence stating when you snack, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and simpler sentence structures, correct word choice (e.g., ‘wake up’ vs. ‘I wake up’, ‘hash browns’), and avoid unnecessary repetition.

Exemplo: I usually eat a snack in the late afternoon, around 5 pm. After I wake up from a short rest, I often cook something simple like frozen fries or hash browns. I prefer light snacks so they keep me satisfied until dinner.

Sugestão: Give a clear opinion first, then explain reasons with specific examples. Reduce hesitations and filler words. Use linking words (however, because) to show contrast and finish the idea with a concrete example of unhealthy ingredients.

Exemplo: I think snacking can be healthy if done occasionally because it helps control hunger between meals. However, eating snacks every day is unhealthy because many processed snacks are high in salt and fat—for example, packaged fries and chips contain a lot of oil and preservatives.

Sugestão: Answer directly and use past simple correctly. Provide one clear supporting detail and use correct vocabulary (e.g., ‘rarely’, ‘my mother used to cook’, names of foods). Avoid awkward phrasing.

Exemplo: To be honest, I rarely ate snacks when I was young because my mother used to prepare traditional and relatively healthy foods, like parathas, chapatis and vegetable pakoras, which meant I didn’t need extra snacks.

Sugestão: Start with a clear topic sentence naming your favorite snacks. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g., ‘foodie’ not ‘foodaholic’, ‘muffins’ not ‘muggings’). Give one short reason for your preference and use a complete sentence for cooking time.

Exemplo: I enjoy many snacks, such as fries, muffins, hash browns and bagels. My favourite is frozen fries because they are quick and easy to prepare—usually they take only two to three minutes in the oven or fryer.

× During evening near 5:00 I woke up.

✓ In the evening, at around 5:00, I wake up.

The original mixes past tense 'woke up' with a general habit question; use simple present 'wake up' for routines. Also add articles and correct time expression: 'in the evening' and 'around 5:00'. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual actions and rephrase time expressions clearly.

× Then I usually cook the snack for me, for example a McCain's fries, sometimes hash potatoes.

✓ Then I usually make a snack for myself, for example McCain's fries or sometimes hash browns.

Use 'make' rather than 'cook' for snacks is acceptable but 'a snack' needs an article. Pronoun should be reflexive 'for myself'. 'McCain's fries' is a brand but keep plural 'fries'; 'hash potatoes' is incorrect — 'hash browns' is standard. Suggestion: Use 'a' before singular countable nouns and 'myself' for actions done for the subject.

× So it's a kind of light meal, so I can easily control my hunger to eat this.

✓ So it's a kind of light meal, which helps me control my hunger.

Using two 'so' conjunctions is redundant and the infinitive 'to eat this' is awkward. Replace with a relative clause 'which helps me control my hunger'. Also use 'help' + object + verb base (help me control). Suggestion: Avoid redundant conjunctions and use concise relative clauses.

× If we eat often, only then it is, uh, healthy because it's helps to control, uh, my anger, umm, my hunger until dinner.

✓ If we eat snacks occasionally, then it can be healthy because it helps to control my hunger until dinner.

'Only then it is' is awkward; use 'then it can be healthy' to indicate conditional possibility. Remove extra 's' in 'helps' with pronoun 'it' — actually 'it helps' is correct; original had 'it's helps' which is wrong. 'Anger' is irrelevant here; keep focus on 'hunger'. Suggestion: Use 'can' or 'may' for conditional health claims and do not combine auxiliary 'is' with a verb ('it's helps' is incorrect).

× But if I take on daily basis, uh, then it's not good for my health because in snacks, uh, as we know, it's included so many kind of ingredients such as, umm.

✓ But if I eat them on a daily basis, then it's not good for my health because snacks often contain many kinds of unhealthy ingredients.

Use 'eat them' rather than 'take'; 'on a daily basis' needs 'on'. 'It's included' is incorrect passive; use 'contain' for present general truth. 'So many kind of' should be 'many kinds of'. Suggestion: Use active verbs for general facts (snacks contain...) and correct plural forms 'kinds'.

× To be honest, when I was young I didn't prefer eat snacks oftenly because my mother going to usually healthy food such as parathas chapatis pakodas which is the kindly processed from fresh fruits and vegetables.

✓ To be honest, when I was young I didn't prefer eating snacks often because my mother usually made healthy foods such as parathas, chapatis and pakoras, which were kindly made from fresh fruits and vegetables.

Use 'didn't prefer eating' (verb + -ing) rather than 'prefer eat'. 'Oftenly' is incorrect — use 'often'. 'Going to usually' is grammatically wrong; use 'usually made'. 'Pakodas' spelling 'pakoras' is common. 'Which is the kindly processed from' is ungrammatical; use 'which were made from'. Tense consistency: past simple for past habit. Suggestion: Use past simple for past habits and correct verb forms: 'prefer + -ing', 'usually made', and 'often'.

× Well, I'm very foodaholic.

✓ Well, I'm very fond of food.

'Foodaholic' is informal slang and not a standard adjective. Use 'fond of food' or 'a foodie' (informal noun). 'Very foodaholic' is unnatural. Suggestion: Use standard expressions like 'fond of food' or 'I'm a foodie' depending on formality.

× I like to taste different type of snacks such as fries, muggings, hash Browns, bagel and so on.

✓ I like to try different types of snacks such as fries, muffins, hash browns and bagels.

Use 'different types of' (plural). 'Taste' could be 'try' or 'taste' but 'try' fits better. 'Muggings' is incorrect — likely 'muffins'. Capitalization inconsistent: 'hash Browns' should be 'hash browns'. Use plural 'bagels'. Suggestion: Use plural forms with 'types of' and correct snack names.

× But I usually prefer, uh, frozen fries because I can easily, uh, cook that at all it takes because, uh, two to three minutes for.

✓ But I usually prefer frozen fries because I can easily cook them; they only take two to three minutes.

'Prefer' with no object is okay but 'that' should be 'them' (referring to fries). 'At all' is unnecessary. Word order 'it takes because two to three minutes for' is incorrect — rephrase to 'they only take two to three minutes'. Use plural pronoun 'them' for plural noun. Suggestion: Keep pronouns consistent, remove filler 'at all', and place time expressions clearly after the verb.