Snacks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 문법과 문장 흐름을 자연스럽게 고치고 어휘 반복을 줄이세요. 예를 들어 시제와 관사(a/the) 사용을 정확히 하고, 이유를 말할 때 연결어를 사용해 문장을 더 자연스럽게 이어야 합니다. 또한 ‘Cheetos’와 ‘ice cream’ 같은 구체적인 예를 유지하되 표현을 간결하게 만드세요.

Exemplo: I usually have a snack just before bedtime because that’s when I feel the hungriest. For example, I often eat Cheetos or have a small bowl of ice cream while watching a drama.

Sugestão: 의견 제시와 이유를 더 명확히 분리하고 연결어를 자연스럽게 사용하세요. ‘make me fat and sleepy’ 같은 표현은 구어체이므로 더 정확한 표현(예: lead to weight gain, make me feel tired)을 사용하는 것이 좋습니다. 대안 제시도 구체적으로 설명하면 점수가 올라갑니다.

Exemplo: I don’t think my current snacking habits are healthy because processed snacks like Cheetos and ice cream can lead to weight gain and make me feel lethargic. Therefore, I should switch to healthier options such as carrot sticks or fruit, which provide vitamins and keep me satiated.

Sugestão: 과거 습관을 설명할 때는 과거 시제를와 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요. 'prohibited to eat' 대신 'didn't allow me to eat' 같은 표현이 더 자연스럽습니다. 또한 부모의 이유를 좀 더 구체적으로 설명하면 좋습니다.

Exemplo: I didn’t eat snacks very often when I was a child because my parents didn’t allow it. They were concerned that sugary snacks weren’t healthy and might spoil my appetite or cause cavities.

Sugestão: 반복을 줄이고 감정과 이유를 더 간결하게 표현하세요. 'icy and sweet'는 괜찮지만 동일한 의미의 문장을 여러 번 쓰지 마세요. 계절적 이유를 덧붙일 때 연결어를 사용해 문장을 매끄럽게 만드세요.

Exemplo: I love eating ice cream because it’s sweet and refreshing, which makes me feel happy. I especially enjoy it in summer since it helps me cool down on hot days.

× I usually eat snacks before I go to bed.

✓ I usually eat a snack before I go to bed.

The student used the plural 'snacks' while referring to a single habitual item eaten before bed. If the habit is eating one item, use the singular 'a snack'. If multiple items are meant, keep 'snacks'. Clearer: 'a snack' for one serving.

× The reason I eat snack before I go bed because in that time I feel the most hungry and I like to eat some Cheetos and have a ice cream watching drama.

✓ The reason I eat a snack before I go to bed is that at that time I feel the most hungry, and I like to eat some Cheetos and have an ice cream while watching a drama.

Several article and sentence-structure issues: 'eat snack' needs the article 'a snack'; 'go bed' requires the preposition 'to' ('go to bed'); the clause needs a verb: use 'is that' to link reason; 'in that time' is unnatural — use 'at that time'; 'a ice cream' needs 'an ice cream' but here 'have an ice cream' is natural; add 'while' before 'watching a drama' to show simultaneous actions. Also split with a comma for clarity.

× Actually I think it is not healthy for eating snacks because I eat Cheetos and ice cream that makes me fat and sleepy.

✓ Actually, I think it is not healthy to eat snacks because eating Cheetos and ice cream makes me gain weight and feel sleepy.

Use the infinitive 'to eat' after 'healthy' rather than 'for eating'. Use gerund 'eating Cheetos and ice cream' as the subject of 'makes'. 'Makes me fat' is better expressed as 'makes me gain weight' for a neutral tone; 'and sleepy' needs parallel structure: 'and feel sleepy'. Added comma after 'Actually'.

× So I think I should change snacks to be healthy like eat vegetables or fruits.

✓ So I think I should change my snacks to be healthier, like eating vegetables or fruit.

'Change snacks' needs possession: 'change my snacks' or 'change what I snack on'. Use comparative adjective 'healthier' rather than 'healthy' when comparing current to new choices. Follow with gerund 'eating' or phrase 'eat vegetables or fruit'. Use 'fruit' as an uncountable noun in this context.

× I did not often eat snacks when I was young because my parents prohibited to eat snacks.

✓ I did not often eat snacks when I was young because my parents prohibited me from eating snacks.

'Prohibited' requires an object and pattern 'prohibit someone from doing something'. Use 'prohibited me from eating' not 'prohibited to eat'. The rest correctly uses past tense.

× I think they thought that snacks are not healthy, so they stopped me to eat sweet things.

✓ I think they thought that snacks were not healthy, so they stopped me from eating sweet things.

Reported speech: shift present 'are' to past 'were' after 'thought'. 'Stopped me to eat' is incorrect; use 'stopped me from eating'. This fixes tense sequence and verb pattern.

× I love to eat some ice cream because it's icy and sweet so that makes me feel so happy.

✓ I love to eat ice cream because it's cold and sweet, so it makes me very happy.

'Omit 'some' when speaking generally about a food: 'eat ice cream' is natural. 'Icy' is less natural than 'cold' for describing ice cream. 'So that makes me feel so happy' is wordy; use 'so it makes me very happy' for clarity and correct adverb use.

× Especially in summer I really love to eat ice cream.

✓ Especially in summer, I really love eating ice cream.

Both 'love to eat' and 'love eating' are possible; 'love eating ice cream' is slightly more natural for habitual preference. Added comma after introductory phrase.

× It makes me cold though the hot summer.

✓ It makes me feel cool during the hot summer.

'Makes me cold' sounds odd for the person; 'feel cool' is appropriate. 'Though the hot summer' is incorrect preposition; use 'during the hot summer' to indicate time. Also 'feel cool' fits context better.